Dear Diary...

My birthday is in a week but I don't feel excited at all! :(

Then again, I was never excited for it like, ever.

'It's just getting a year older, nothing special about it.' That's what my father always said. And honestly, I thought so too.

Jungkook and his family are the only people that actually made me look forward to it. They would always throw the sweetest parties and give me the sweetest presents, i felt so blessed every 30th December.

Like my tenth birthday, I will never forget it! They seriously rented the swimming pool in our city even though it was cold winter! I still don't understand why they rented the swimming pool...

And there were so many balloons and so much confetti and even soap bubbles floating around in the empty pool... I felt like I was in heaven.

And then there was tiny Jungkook running to me with the biggest smile and screaming "Happy birthday, Taehyung!" from the top of his lungs, as soon as I entered. He used to be so small, much smaller than me. Such a cute baby. I mean, he is a year younger. But now, it's like he's bigger than me... Baby, my ass.

Anyways, the food! We ate the yummiest ramyeon with crêpes and birthday cake... Weird combination, I know. But so worth it!

This birthday is just an example, by the way. My other birthdays were just as fascinating, you wouldn't believe.

But this year, everything will change. Jungkook and I aren't friends anymore, at least that's what I think.

It's so unusual, we used to do everything together and now both of us have to go seperate ways, just because of my douchebag father. (Don't let him see this, please.)

Not to mention the fact that I am (or I was?) in love with him. This should be my opportunity to move on from him and yet I'm just sitting here, being depressed. Sometimes, I just can't with myself...

Oh, and I have to tell you something! Mark Lim asked me out, can you believe it? Actually, I should've seen it coming, I just thought that he was a flirty kind of friend. The kind of friend that flirts without it having any meaning. But woah, turns out I was wrong. He really does like me...

A hot guy asking me out was like my favourite teenage fantasy but now that it happened, somehow I don't want to anymore! It's like my love for Jeon Jungkook is destroying every single opportunity I ever had...

I'm still struggling about what I should say to Mark, I don't want to disappoint him but I don't want to lead him on falsely either. He really does like me, he asks me about my 'answer' every damn day.

I guess I'll just go with the flow and listen to my heart. Or maybe not.

I'll just say what I feel like saying at the moment.

I don't want to keep him waiting so I'll have my answer ready tomorrow. Whatever I feel like saying then, I guess.

Anyways, dear diary. I have to do my homework now, ttyl and thank you for always listening to my weird thoughts!

Luv yaaa

-Taehyungie♡

°○●○●○°

During the process of finding all answers to the complicated mathematical equations, Taehyung felt a sudden emptiness inside his heart.

He missed Jungkook. And not only Jungkook, he also missed all the sweet moments they had spent together.

Such an unfortunate turn of events, huh?

He sighed. And then, he suddenly had a flashback...

(A/N: do you remember the chapter where taehyung had to feed jungkook bc of his injury? i never explicitly described this scene so i could make this flashback 🤩

but yes, here's what happened)

..."What happened to you anyways, Jungkook? Did you seriously fall this hard?" The ravenette shook his head, his expression darkening.

"Chris tackled me, that son of a bitch. And that without a reason!" The two of them sat themselves on their favourite table, the one far away from everything else. It was quiet and peaceful, just how they liked it.

"I never liked him. He's so mean," Taehyung mumbled. He felt Jungkook look over to him and felt a blush creeping on his cheeks.

"He's a dumb bastard, that's what he is," the younger grumbled. "Anyways, will you help me open this lid?" He pointed towards his drink, a banana milk bottle.

"Banana milk again? I swear, you drink banana milk like others smoke cigarettes." The blonde giggled, opening the lid of the bottle.

"So, what do you wanna eat first? Ramyeon or eggs?"

"Ramyeon, definetely." Taehyung nodded, grabbing the chopsticks and placing his palm under Jungkook's chin gently as soon as he had caught enough noodles between them. His heart was beating wildly by doing so.

As he brought the chopsticks towards Jungkook's mouth, he felt like he was actually taking care of his lover. It was strangely... domestic.

And the worst thing about them all, the younger kept smiling all the time!

Part of that smile looked like he was trying to mock or tease him and the other part looked like he was really enjoying it.

And it confused the heck out of Taehyung.

Every time he brought the pair of chopsticks towards his best friend's mouth, he could feel his hands slightly shaking and his insides feeling all mushy and soft.

That goddamned smile...

It took a good while until the whole bowl of Ramyeon was finished, occasionally Jungkook would also ask for some eggs and vegetable.

Jesus Christ, Taehyung felt like he was taking care of a literal baby.

Finally, nothing except for the bottle of banana milk was left.

"I'm pretty sure you can drink this by yourself, Jungkook."

The ravenette grinned and shook his head. "My finger hurts."

"Seriously, Kook? I'm not your mom!"

He still had a shit-eating grin on his face.

"Really? Could've fooled me."

The blonde groaned, trying to sound annoyed when in reality, he still felt like dying over the other's clinginess.

"Fine. But be careful."

For this one, Taehyung had to lean extra close to Jungkook's face since the opening of the bottle wasn't very big.

The older felt like fainting at the close proximity, at this point, he could've counted his eyelashes if he wanted to.

Enjoying this moment and trying not to give in and accidentally lean in, he fed the bottle to the other without any mishaps, luckily.

By the time he was finished, he suddenly came to realize that he had completely forgotten to eat his own lunch as he was way to preoccupied by feeding Jungkook.

The things you do for love...

"Oh shit, you didn't eat. Sorry Taehyung, I didn't realize."

Taehyung indicated that it was okay, with a hand gesture.

"I wasn't that hungry anyway."

"You need to eat, Taehyung. We still have fifteen minutes left, go on."

The blonde opened his mouth to protest, but he got cut off again.

"Don't protest, okay? Food is important. Now start eating or I will make you."

Ignoring his heart fluttering, Taehyung giggled. "And how do you plan on doing that?"

The ravenette shrugged.

"I have my ways, Taehyung. Now start eating, won't you?" With his healthy hand, he pushed the tray closer towards the now flustered boy.

"O-Okay. Fine."

"Thank you, by the way. For feeding me, you know?"

°○●○●○°

Taehyung sighed. "Such a beautiful memory, I remember when he used to be really cheeky and funny, it was adorable. He made me smile so much," he muttered.

"But now he's so different, so serious. So demanding. Distant, even. I miss the old times, where he actually used to care about my feelings," he continued.

"Was that selfish of me to say? That was totally selfish of me to say, damn you, Taehyung. It's not like it's gonna make me love him any less."

"Ugh, it's just-- I can't help but wonder..."

...What happened to us?