The flashback played out in your mind.

"Bungee, why won't you come to the performance? You are one of the best in the circus; we need you!" You pulled on his arms as he laid in your bed.

"No. Please, I just want to be alone." His face was un-made up. His hair was a mess. His eyes rimmed red.

"Well, no. Move over. Let me in." He didn't, but you squished yourself in anyway. "Bungee, Bungee, Bungee. What's wrong?"

"Please, leave. I don't want to be near you." His voice trembled.

"Why? You love me. I usually have to pry you off of me and kick you out of my bed." Running your fingers through his hair, your face remained only inches away. "You've got to talk to me. Tell me what you're feeling."

He shook his head, pushing his face into the pillow.

Your hand drifted lower, putting his bandaged hands on your waist, as you placed your own on his. He had been quite banged-up after his death match with your father, so you tried your best to be gentle. After a fewe minutes of silence, a muffled weep emerged from Hisoka's pillow.

"I want to die." His chest shook as he began weeping openly into his pillow.

The sound of it startled you so badly that you almost hit your head on his. Instead, you grabbed him tightly, pulling his face into your chest.

"Oh, Bungee, my love." You kissed his head as you stroked his long, red hair. "I want you to live. I want to marry you. I want to have a family."

"I-I-I killed him! I killed your only family! I'm a monster!" He sobbed out, still muffled.

"You're my family. You saved my best friend. You stopped a serial killer. You saved my own life." You lowered your voice. "You gave us, and even the rest of Glam Gas Land, a real chance to be happy."

His sobs slowly wound down into sniffles.

"Will you really marry me?" He asked. He had been asking you to marry him for a while now.

"Eventually. That's all I want to do. You're my life, Bungee. You've got to stay ready for when I actually say yes! Maybe when you have a proper proposal for me." You laughed lightly.

"I don't know if I can ever forgive myself." His hands gained life in them as he held you closely. "Please. Please don't leave me right now."

"You're going to have to do a lot worse than ridding the world of an evil man to scare me away, Bungee. In fact, There's probably almost nothing you could do, apart from dying, that would get me to take you away."

As the flashback ended in your mind, you realized that you had kept close to that line of reasoning. You had left Hisoka for the fact that he was doing work that was going to get him killed. But now you were back and in this present moment, you were once again afraid that Hisoka would be taken away from you. But this time, once again, your husband himself was the aggressor.