《Salty Book Review》Review #8
Advertisement
Because I offered this service through Reddit, I won't charge you for this review. You'll also bypass the severity scale, so my tone will remain neutral yet constructive.
To Steal a Weeping Widow's title reminded me of a story I reviewed a while back, and I was eager to check it out. After watching The Haunting of Hill House and The Haunting of Bly Manor, books with similarly whimsical titles now draw my attention. But here's my issue with it: this title doesn't match the cover, and for a while, I didn't see the connection to the plot either. I think an art piece in black, gloved hands - or something similar - would better suit it and if you need help making a cover, let me know. Also, the rose is covering the title which doesn't help.
7.5/10
I really enjoyed how simple the summary is. You gave us just enough to draw our own conclusions about the plot, like who's the culprit and what stakes are being raised. Because you didn't spoil it, it'll make some people curious enough to read it. Though this is a good quality, your use of vague pronouns is confusing - if this was intentional, then bravo on adding another layer of suspense - and the excerpt feels like it was taken from a romance novel. Mixing genres is fine, everyone does it, but you've laid down enough groundwork for me to assume that this is a mystery novel and not a love story. If you feel that a quote is necessary, go for something like the MC in distress about being framed or someone verbally cornering her about the rumor that she's the art thief.
7/10
Since there are too many to keep track of, I'll focus on the main three.
Advertisement
(Geraldine) I hear about her so much but don't know anything about her aside from her being August's grandmother and the obvious art theft. I'm hoping that after reading further and more updates, I'll understand why she's idolized.
(Eleanor) Honestly, I forgot her name to the point that I questioned if she even had one. Try to throw her name in often instead of relying on pronouns. Whether 1st, 2nd, or 3rd person POV is used is irrelevant when it comes to this and I only stress this because if others forget her name and have to keep going back, they'll eventually stop reading.
(Augustus) I haven't read enough to understand his character, but I will say that I love the grandma/grandson relationship you created. I don't see this often. In fact, you're probably the first person I've met who chose that dynamic.
N/A
This reminds me of those murder mysteries I used to love as a kid and because this is maybe my first mystery series, you've set the bar pretty high.
Though I enjoyed this book, some things didn't make sense. For example, one of your characters drank a beverage which you described as scalding and they supposedly ignored it. I find it hard to believe that someone could not even wince or jerk back from the pain. My last small complaint would be that you introduced too many characters in the beginning but didn't describe them well enough for me to visualize them. I suggest going back and limiting that to no more than three a chapter, then slowly add more that are beneficial to the plot. I made notes as I was reading so I'll split each section into groups.
(White Room Syndrome) "White Room Syndrome refers to writing that lacks grounding in physical reality – lacks even basic description, in terms of setting." I was surprised to see that this is a common occurrence and I forgot that when I first started out, I did the same thing. You put more effort into Geraldine, almost making her seem like a deity. I can't visualize anything, not even the characters, and they're both very important parts of a good story. Some parts I enjoyed, like the metaphor about the sneeze. I found it unique and made me ignore the fact that I couldn't visualize the rest of the room in the prologue. I would explain less and try to avoid flowery writing because in the era this was supposed to be set in, it doesn't make sense.
Advertisement
(Unclear date) You mentioned when the art pieces were stolen but to my knowledge, there's never a point where you tell us what year the story is set so I assumed sometime after 1999. Some things should be left unanswered to give the audience a chance to create theories of their own. but things like this would be best explained, or at least, alluded to.
(Grammar/Structure) At some point, you wrote sike instead of psyche. If you'd like, I'll gladly go back and highlight it for you. You also spelled Grandma as Gramma and that could be excused if it remains in dialogue. It'll give the characters an accent which most writers don't like to do.
You do more telling than showing and here's an example to look out for: "When are your parents getting in?" I asked, leaning forward onto my elbows, and twiddling a pen between my fingers. This is wordy. I would change it to something like: Leaning on my elbows while twiddling a pen between my fingers, I ask, "When are your parents getting in?" or "When are your parents getting in," I asked while resting my weight forward on my elbows. I was twiddling a pen between my fingers as I waited for a response.
I love how you separated thoughts from everything else by writing it in italics. Not many writers do that. Also, at some point, I was going to complain about the mood being tense but that makes sense considering the plot.
5/10
Thank you for trusting me with your story, and if you liked your review, recommend me. If you have any questions, feel free to ask me either here or message me privately.
Advertisement
Little Love
'Just another cliché.'------------Every good girl needs a bad boy.It's just logic.Even Amoret, the naive girl from England knew this.She just wasn't expecting it.But who ever is?------------All Love has ever wanted to do was take control of her life, and make her own choices for herself. Finally, this comes in the form of moving to her brother's home in America and living in a house of eleven boys, all just to escape her father's wrath. It isn't easy, especially being financially cut off from her parents, but she makes it work, falling in love quickly with Greyson. But Greyson leads to numerous issues.Is he in a gang? Does he fight? Does he race? All three? Who knows.Her brother, apparently.It's kind of a wrong place, wrong time thing, however, this naive girl suddenly becomes the focus of the resident bad boy.And everyone knows how that turns out.------------"Love?" I jumped slightly and looked up, only to see him looking down at me. We had arrived at the ice cream parlour, obviously me being too enchanted by his tattoos to notice. The familiar blush flooded across my face again as he got out of the car and came around to my side, opening the door and leaning in close before I could get out, his lips close to my ear. He sighed slightly, making goosebumps rise up on my arms."I have tattoos in a lot of other places you might want to see..." Oh. My. God. He was trying to kill me, burn me alive from the inside out. All I could do was squeak and shove my face into my hands. He laughed loudly and picked me up, swinging me out of the car and putting me down on my feet."Adorable."
8 135Agent Help | Jungkook ✔
Jungkook : Please help me, I feel horny....Y/N : WTF!A story through textsJeon Jungkook FANFICTION 2021All rights reserved
8 182If We Cannot Grow Old Together
Qiaosheng, you are the one who saves me, yet you are also the one who gives me hell. If we cannot grow old together, I'd rather we've never met before.
8 93Being Realized
Ash Ketchum, a Stock Market supervisor in Phoenix, got a call from his school professor, Professor Oak, and invites him to be the part of the student reunion in Seattle. Ash could finally meet his destiny and childhood best friend-cum crush, Serena. Serena on the other hand took Ash as her best friend, not realizing her feelings towards him. But then something occurred which shook Ash.Could Serena realize her feelings towards Ash and can Ash make Serena an important page in his diary of life?All is written in the Diary of LifeI DON'T OWN ANY CHARECTERS IN THE SERIES.
8 162The Bad Boy's Favorite Girl
When both of her parents leave on a business trip for a few months, Alina Hadley is sent from Fort Worth to Greenwich, where her mom's best friend lives. She is introduced to a whole new world, one that she wasn't aware of when she moved seven years ago. This change from Texas to Connecticut is topped off with having to live with the school's bad boy, Jay Von Baron. Will Alina last these few months?
8 116Forbidden
Tera thought she'd never see the hot stranger she had a one night stand with again, but on her first day of her final college class her professor turns out to be someone all too familiar. The guy she slept with. A guy she can't stop thinking about even though its forbidden. Cover by the amazing @LuisaDituri
8 141