《Salty Book Review》Review #8
Advertisement
Because I offered this service through Reddit, I won't charge you for this review. You'll also bypass the severity scale, so my tone will remain neutral yet constructive.
To Steal a Weeping Widow's title reminded me of a story I reviewed a while back, and I was eager to check it out. After watching The Haunting of Hill House and The Haunting of Bly Manor, books with similarly whimsical titles now draw my attention. But here's my issue with it: this title doesn't match the cover, and for a while, I didn't see the connection to the plot either. I think an art piece in black, gloved hands - or something similar - would better suit it and if you need help making a cover, let me know. Also, the rose is covering the title which doesn't help.
7.5/10
I really enjoyed how simple the summary is. You gave us just enough to draw our own conclusions about the plot, like who's the culprit and what stakes are being raised. Because you didn't spoil it, it'll make some people curious enough to read it. Though this is a good quality, your use of vague pronouns is confusing - if this was intentional, then bravo on adding another layer of suspense - and the excerpt feels like it was taken from a romance novel. Mixing genres is fine, everyone does it, but you've laid down enough groundwork for me to assume that this is a mystery novel and not a love story. If you feel that a quote is necessary, go for something like the MC in distress about being framed or someone verbally cornering her about the rumor that she's the art thief.
7/10
Since there are too many to keep track of, I'll focus on the main three.
Advertisement
(Geraldine) I hear about her so much but don't know anything about her aside from her being August's grandmother and the obvious art theft. I'm hoping that after reading further and more updates, I'll understand why she's idolized.
(Eleanor) Honestly, I forgot her name to the point that I questioned if she even had one. Try to throw her name in often instead of relying on pronouns. Whether 1st, 2nd, or 3rd person POV is used is irrelevant when it comes to this and I only stress this because if others forget her name and have to keep going back, they'll eventually stop reading.
(Augustus) I haven't read enough to understand his character, but I will say that I love the grandma/grandson relationship you created. I don't see this often. In fact, you're probably the first person I've met who chose that dynamic.
N/A
This reminds me of those murder mysteries I used to love as a kid and because this is maybe my first mystery series, you've set the bar pretty high.
Though I enjoyed this book, some things didn't make sense. For example, one of your characters drank a beverage which you described as scalding and they supposedly ignored it. I find it hard to believe that someone could not even wince or jerk back from the pain. My last small complaint would be that you introduced too many characters in the beginning but didn't describe them well enough for me to visualize them. I suggest going back and limiting that to no more than three a chapter, then slowly add more that are beneficial to the plot. I made notes as I was reading so I'll split each section into groups.
(White Room Syndrome) "White Room Syndrome refers to writing that lacks grounding in physical reality – lacks even basic description, in terms of setting." I was surprised to see that this is a common occurrence and I forgot that when I first started out, I did the same thing. You put more effort into Geraldine, almost making her seem like a deity. I can't visualize anything, not even the characters, and they're both very important parts of a good story. Some parts I enjoyed, like the metaphor about the sneeze. I found it unique and made me ignore the fact that I couldn't visualize the rest of the room in the prologue. I would explain less and try to avoid flowery writing because in the era this was supposed to be set in, it doesn't make sense.
Advertisement
(Unclear date) You mentioned when the art pieces were stolen but to my knowledge, there's never a point where you tell us what year the story is set so I assumed sometime after 1999. Some things should be left unanswered to give the audience a chance to create theories of their own. but things like this would be best explained, or at least, alluded to.
(Grammar/Structure) At some point, you wrote sike instead of psyche. If you'd like, I'll gladly go back and highlight it for you. You also spelled Grandma as Gramma and that could be excused if it remains in dialogue. It'll give the characters an accent which most writers don't like to do.
You do more telling than showing and here's an example to look out for: "When are your parents getting in?" I asked, leaning forward onto my elbows, and twiddling a pen between my fingers. This is wordy. I would change it to something like: Leaning on my elbows while twiddling a pen between my fingers, I ask, "When are your parents getting in?" or "When are your parents getting in," I asked while resting my weight forward on my elbows. I was twiddling a pen between my fingers as I waited for a response.
I love how you separated thoughts from everything else by writing it in italics. Not many writers do that. Also, at some point, I was going to complain about the mood being tense but that makes sense considering the plot.
5/10
Thank you for trusting me with your story, and if you liked your review, recommend me. If you have any questions, feel free to ask me either here or message me privately.
Advertisement
Kidnapped by the Mafia on Purpose
I was kidnapped by the mafia I know that sounds like a bad thing but for me it couldn't come at a better time. So I let them take me I will act like a victim so they think they won but will I be able to keep acting like I'm some naive girl or will they find out that I'm not the person they thought I was.My name is Samatha Robert if you took one look at me you would think there's nothing too special about me. I live with the mayor and his family they took me in when I had nowhere to go. But when I'm at the wrong place at the wrong time I end up getting kidnapped by the mafia they assumed I was the mayors kid who happens to be my best friend but It actually couldn't have come at a better time because what I thought that I left in the past is resurfacing. so I'll go with them on my own free will but how long can I keep up this act until they find out the truth
8 156my scarred mate
Aria never wanted her life to be this way. She never asked to be bullied.Or for her Dad to hit her.Or to be mute.But that is how her life turned out. She is broken. She is scared. She is lost.Until one day she meets Forest. A new student hiding a big secret. He is the Alphas son. He is her mate. But she has no idea she is a werewolf. What will happen when he turns her world on its head. Will she accept her new life. Or push him away.New chapters every Wednesday and Saturday. Hope you enjoy my story!Cover credits to 20_shades_of_blue
8 123Love's Vicissitudes: A Pursuit of Beloved Wife
On the wedding night, her beloved husband should let a stranger into the room! Their three years of deep love now turns out to be a complete scam! Bai Yuexi just feels herself like a fool. In her despair when her beloved husband and mother-in-law ruined her family, Li Fengjue comes to Bai Yuexi's life, in a domineering manner. "Satisfy me, then I'll take everything back for you," so he says. Her loves for him grows and she is pregnant. Yet just when Bai Yuxi thinks she is about to enjoy the happiness, Li Fengju, the man she now loves with all her heart, disappears. Ah! The Vicissitudes of love, and the Vicissitudes of life. Five years later when the two meets again, Bai Yuexi stands beside a new man and greets Li Fengjue with a big smile, "Hello, brother-in-law, long time no see!" Read all the latest chapters of Love's Vicissitudes: A Pursuit of Beloved Wife on Flying Lines.
8 1777 years with TharnType FF
Just a fanfiction about the relationship of this power couple after 7 years. How much did they change? How much do they understand each other now? Read to find out.....
8 202I'm more of a Crawford kinda girl. (Crawford Collins)
Imagine. Pretending to date your best friend's brother. The guy you have been falling for. Having the struggle of him being all kissy and huggy with you and not knowing if that love is real. It least you can act like a couple in public and just let go and be freaks when you guys are alone.
8 60How I Got To You | Morgan Wallen
Two best friends and a concert in Maryland, where will the end up? More importantly who will they end up with?The trial and errors of two girls, will friendships be tested?
8 148