《Salty Book Review》Review #8
Advertisement
Because I offered this service through Reddit, I won't charge you for this review. You'll also bypass the severity scale, so my tone will remain neutral yet constructive.
To Steal a Weeping Widow's title reminded me of a story I reviewed a while back, and I was eager to check it out. After watching The Haunting of Hill House and The Haunting of Bly Manor, books with similarly whimsical titles now draw my attention. But here's my issue with it: this title doesn't match the cover, and for a while, I didn't see the connection to the plot either. I think an art piece in black, gloved hands - or something similar - would better suit it and if you need help making a cover, let me know. Also, the rose is covering the title which doesn't help.
7.5/10
I really enjoyed how simple the summary is. You gave us just enough to draw our own conclusions about the plot, like who's the culprit and what stakes are being raised. Because you didn't spoil it, it'll make some people curious enough to read it. Though this is a good quality, your use of vague pronouns is confusing - if this was intentional, then bravo on adding another layer of suspense - and the excerpt feels like it was taken from a romance novel. Mixing genres is fine, everyone does it, but you've laid down enough groundwork for me to assume that this is a mystery novel and not a love story. If you feel that a quote is necessary, go for something like the MC in distress about being framed or someone verbally cornering her about the rumor that she's the art thief.
7/10
Since there are too many to keep track of, I'll focus on the main three.
Advertisement
(Geraldine) I hear about her so much but don't know anything about her aside from her being August's grandmother and the obvious art theft. I'm hoping that after reading further and more updates, I'll understand why she's idolized.
(Eleanor) Honestly, I forgot her name to the point that I questioned if she even had one. Try to throw her name in often instead of relying on pronouns. Whether 1st, 2nd, or 3rd person POV is used is irrelevant when it comes to this and I only stress this because if others forget her name and have to keep going back, they'll eventually stop reading.
(Augustus) I haven't read enough to understand his character, but I will say that I love the grandma/grandson relationship you created. I don't see this often. In fact, you're probably the first person I've met who chose that dynamic.
N/A
This reminds me of those murder mysteries I used to love as a kid and because this is maybe my first mystery series, you've set the bar pretty high.
Though I enjoyed this book, some things didn't make sense. For example, one of your characters drank a beverage which you described as scalding and they supposedly ignored it. I find it hard to believe that someone could not even wince or jerk back from the pain. My last small complaint would be that you introduced too many characters in the beginning but didn't describe them well enough for me to visualize them. I suggest going back and limiting that to no more than three a chapter, then slowly add more that are beneficial to the plot. I made notes as I was reading so I'll split each section into groups.
(White Room Syndrome) "White Room Syndrome refers to writing that lacks grounding in physical reality – lacks even basic description, in terms of setting." I was surprised to see that this is a common occurrence and I forgot that when I first started out, I did the same thing. You put more effort into Geraldine, almost making her seem like a deity. I can't visualize anything, not even the characters, and they're both very important parts of a good story. Some parts I enjoyed, like the metaphor about the sneeze. I found it unique and made me ignore the fact that I couldn't visualize the rest of the room in the prologue. I would explain less and try to avoid flowery writing because in the era this was supposed to be set in, it doesn't make sense.
Advertisement
(Unclear date) You mentioned when the art pieces were stolen but to my knowledge, there's never a point where you tell us what year the story is set so I assumed sometime after 1999. Some things should be left unanswered to give the audience a chance to create theories of their own. but things like this would be best explained, or at least, alluded to.
(Grammar/Structure) At some point, you wrote sike instead of psyche. If you'd like, I'll gladly go back and highlight it for you. You also spelled Grandma as Gramma and that could be excused if it remains in dialogue. It'll give the characters an accent which most writers don't like to do.
You do more telling than showing and here's an example to look out for: "When are your parents getting in?" I asked, leaning forward onto my elbows, and twiddling a pen between my fingers. This is wordy. I would change it to something like: Leaning on my elbows while twiddling a pen between my fingers, I ask, "When are your parents getting in?" or "When are your parents getting in," I asked while resting my weight forward on my elbows. I was twiddling a pen between my fingers as I waited for a response.
I love how you separated thoughts from everything else by writing it in italics. Not many writers do that. Also, at some point, I was going to complain about the mood being tense but that makes sense considering the plot.
5/10
Thank you for trusting me with your story, and if you liked your review, recommend me. If you have any questions, feel free to ask me either here or message me privately.
Advertisement
- In Serial33 Chapters
Crown of Heroes
This is the "sweet" in a bittersweet love story. It's about old goodbyes turning into new hellos. It's the laughter after a long stretch of tears. Don't worry, this IS the happy ending! A woman finds herself in a world of magic, with a broken mind. She's got a job to do but she can't remember her orders. The clock is ticking, will she get her marbles back in time to do what needs to be done? A man desperately desired knighthood, only to get punted into a career as a mage. Now he's burdened with a wife he never asked for and a life he never wanted. By the time he's accepted his fate, will he be strong enough to protect what really matters?
8 134 - In Serial36 Chapters
His Scared Angel
Ishita Gupta is a Delhi based college going girl who is very shy and timid in nature. She is very much loved by her family and her best friend whom she considers as a sister. But not everything we see in front of us is bound to be true. A terrible incident of the past has left a deep impact on her soul that she has not been able to move on from her past.Rudra Bajaj is a Mumbai based self-made billionaire who likes to keep people on their toes. He is an arrogant and cold-hearted man who doesn't care about what people think of him. He has been deceived once in his life by someone very special to him so he has decided to not to get married ever in his life.✳✳✳✳✳✳✳Two people with different perspective towards life. However, fate has decided to bind them together in an arranged marriage.But how will they survive this marriage when they both are not ready for any commitment? What will Rudra do when he finds out that his wife is hiding a big secret from him? And can Ishita put her trust in her husband after what she has to endure because of her past?••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
8 152 - In Serial58 Chapters
Finally
(Thank you to all who have taken a chance and read Finally. However, I wrote this book years ago and there are many, many errors. Editing will hopefully happen soon and make improvements to the story.)Lisa Grey's life has never been easy with an abusive, alcoholic father, and bullied by classmates with friends. Her life has been very hollow and lifeless but it's all about to change when she meets Aiden Knight. A man you who has everything at his fingertips from money to women to his father's company. But their lives are about to entwine, never being able to go back to normal. A story about love, forgiveness, and revenge.
8 260 - In Serial51 Chapters
CURSE OF LOVE
[ Completed ]Hunter PearcePria tampan dengan sifat arogan dan sombong itu harus dihadapkan dengan sebuah kutukan dari seorang wanita yang ia tolak melamar kerja di perusahaannya dengan alasan wajahnya yang kurang menarik.Ia harus mencari seseorang yang benar benar tulus mencintainya untuk mengangkat kutukan itu. Wajah tampannya kini berubah menjadi buruk rupa,kekasihnya pun pergi meninggalkannya.Sampai suatu hari ia menerima seorang wanita muda yang mau bekerja sebagai asisten pribadinya,membuatnya merasa nyaman dan membuatnya tidak merasa buruk rupa ketika bersama wanita itu."Choose the ones who look at you,like they just realized you exist." ucap tiba tiba wanita disampingnya ini yang sedang menatap lurus kearah danau,sontak membuat Hunter menoleh dan menatapnya penuh intens.
8 501 - In Serial79 Chapters
BL | Bai Yueguang From Slag Gong And I Have HE [Quick Wear]
⚠MACHINE TRANSLATIONTitleBai Yueguang From Slag Gong And I Have HE [Quick Wear]/渣攻的白月光和我HE了AuthorGuzheng/故箏Status79 Chapters (Completed)http://www.jjwxc.net/onebook.php?novelid=4613705https://m.shubaow.net/145/145905/https://www.pilibook.com/book/2143.html.INTRODUCTIONWang Weichu, a name that is very perfunctory for cannon fodder passers-by at first glance, his life is indeed cannon fodder,He was picked up by his father from the mountain village, and the first thing he did was to marry into a wealthy family as a man and wife.His husband, Mr. Cheng, is handsome and young, and he looks up to and adores Mr. Cheng.However, the whole city knows that Mr. Cheng has Bai Yueguang in his heart, and he can't get it after several years, and he can't even get one percent of Bai Yueguang.Until the family banquet, Wang Weichu saw Bai Yueguang Cen Yao,This noble and elegant, indifferent and unapproachable Bai Yueguang hooked his leg under the table...[Quick Transmigration, the copywriting is only a summary of the first world, self-cutting, the whole text is a routine, and is redeemed and healed by Bai Yueguang. Dog blood dog blood Su Shuangtian, bold. Bai Yueguang is beautiful and fierce 1! Don't stand wrong! 】
8 326 - In Serial100 Chapters
The devil [1] (Lumity/the owl house Fanfiction)
•Only Season 1•This is FANFICTION•I like Lumity, how about you?•Also now going to AO3, but is still in work at the momentI flushed, my heart was racing as the music went on and he led the dance.I couldn't help myself but smile while I stared at his mask.I wanted to see his face.I've been yearning for him to take it off.Created by: D
8 155

