《Salty Book Review》Review #4
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You asked for a brutally honest review so I'll be telling you what I think as raw and real as I can. If you don't like this, then feel free to message me.
The title sounds like every cheesy novel I've come across on this app, and the cover didn't help. Maybe brainstorm different ideas. "The misfortune of Daisy Grey" looks eye-catching. I guess the font for the title is good.
5/10
As far as genres go, at least you can say that you chose the right one.
5/10
The summary was, in my opinion, longer than necessary. This can and will push the readers away from your book whether the cover looks spicy or plain. A summary is everything in the book put in short. It keeps the readers guessing and longing for more. I honestly didn't even read it all because of how tiring it looks.
0/10
I couldn't even get to the second page without dozing off. I also have to keep checking your book to even remember your lead character's name.
0/10
Because I stopped at the first page, excluding the copyright part, I didn't see a shift in anyone's personality/mindset. I won't rate you on this.
N/A
I think that you have the potential to write an amazing page-turner, but the issue that makes people stop reading instantly, is the constant telling rather than showing. Show us her getting ready without going into detail.
E.g: "She walks to the door and she walks through it." That's telling.
"Her feet carry her to the exit and when she arrives at the closed door, she raises her right hand. Wrapping her fingers around the knob, she twists it then she pulls it towards her until the door cracks open." That's showing.
Also, you're redundant when it comes to telling us that she's clumsy. That can be shown throughout the story but if you insist on telling us, keep it short. You also unrealistically showed the reader your character's appearance. Tell me, have you ever looked in the mirror and went, "Ugh, my dark brown hair is so boring. Look at that awkward strand curling like I slept with one roller in my hair. My eyes aren't even that appealing either. Who wants light brown eyes just as enchanting as honey?"
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It's okay to have an average-looking character. Name ten people that aren't models with natural bold red hair and eyes the color of a jewel.
4/10
Until you improve on the first few pages, I honestly doubt that I'll be able to enjoy this book. Keep in mind that the first three to five pages should be excellently written to hook the reader in.
4/10
You only asked for one so this part will be pretty short.
(Is it realistic) You wanted to know how realistic the plot is and from what I've seen thus far, I can proudly say that it is. I could see everything happening during the flashbacks but outside of that, I couldn't visualize anything.
Thank you for sending me your book! I look forward to reading another one of your works, and recommend me to your friends if you're pleased with this review.
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