《Salty Book Review》Review #3
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You asked for a Brutally honest review so I'm writing this as raw as I can. Screenshots will be provided and as I've said before, Grammarly is every writer's best friend. By the way, I'll be name dropping a lot of movie/book characters a lot in this book.
The title of your book made me want to face dive into the keyboard of my laptop and ironically I primarily use Wattpad on my phone. I visualized something Fifty Shades of Grey and After birthed nine months after a prom night disaster, and the cover didn't help. This gem proves that you should never judge a book by its cover. I applaud you for this!
10/10
I've never come across any Adventure books on here so it was shocking to see that I had to review one. I've seen many Wattpaders give their stories the wrong genre, myself included, so I'm pleased that you picked the genre that fits perfectly with your plot when usually this would be grouped in with the Romance category.
10/10
Your summary was well written in the sense that it doesn't overshare but I noticed an error that a lot of us on here make. When saying someone's age, there should be a hyphen. Instead of thirty year old, it's thirty-year-old.
9/10
You have a lot to pick from, ten to be exact, so this portion will probably be relatively longer than the others.
(Warren Carmichael) I'm fascinated by *In Dory's voice* "Mr. Grumpy Gills." His dislike for children makes me even more curious about what happened to his child or why he has that watch. I also wonder if he's a widower or if he too adopted. He's well-rounded which makes him feel realistic. Way too many characters have personalities with no backstory, like, a character could hate sushi but there'd be no reason as to why, or they could be nice to everyone just because. It's unrealistic. He also sometimes reminds me of Jim Carrey in a Series of Unfortunate Events.
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10/10
(Archer Clarke) He feels like the long lost brother of Ashton Cooper from my story, Just Dreaming. He takes on this caregiver role, completely ignoring his needs as a human being and I absolutely adore that characteristic. Because he lost his parents, it would make sense for him to grieve but he doesn't do that. He's too focused on keeping his sister calm and happy. For making my heart warm, I give this...
10/10
(Sophia Clarke) This...child. Oh, she makes me want to reach through the phone. I don't like her behavior and how she makes irresponsible choices. When she screams, I can literally hear it and it reminds me of teeth grating a chalkboard. I used to love reading Junie B Jones books as a child and Sophia reminded me of her. I love all of these characteristics for her whether I wanna accept it or not. She's a child. Period.
10/10
(Jasper Wade) This kid is like that bug that you wanna squish but they're too fast and too cute anyway. He reminds me of this guy I knew. I forgot his name but people around campus called him TMZ because he was like a one-man paparazzi. This kid, Jasper, annoys me more than Sophia does and that's saying something. I'm sure he's well thought out but I'm just gonna give him a half rating for now.
5/10
(Mia Wade) Absolutely stunning, woman of very few words like myself outside of Wattpad, and culinary genius. What more could I ask for? I've noticed that a lot of your characters fit perfectly with their names and the celebrities that play their roles, but Zendaya as Mia was a match made in heaven. You captured her essence well.
10/10
(Katherine Wade) She's angelic through the pain that I'm sure she had to endure with finding out that she can't have children and watching her husband leave her because of that sad reality. Kudos to her for moving on and adopting. I really wish that she'd cut off Brodie though.
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10/10
(Mrs. Cooke) I felt so bad for her when she was chastised because of her chaotic students. She reminds me of Miss. Honey from Matilda and that's how I've been visualizing her.
10/10
(Principal Jackson) You chose the Queen herself! My jaw was on the floor when I saw her name and I'm just now picking it up. Sadly, the essence doesn't really fit right in my opinion. I feel like if Principal Weatherbee from Riverdale and Wendell Pierce had a love child, it'd be this character.
5/10
(Freddie McFarland) He feels like a follower. Like that one kid in elementary school who's terrified of his classmate but goes along with everything he says to hide it.
5/10
Since there aren't that many pages, I won't rate you on this one.
N/A
The plot of this story is amazing. It felt like I was watching a professionally made film and I love the elements put together to create this masterpiece. I wonder what time period this is written in.
10/10
I'm gonna think about this book for a while. I'm keeping it in my library as well as in my folder and I'm gonna wait for an update without pacing the floor. I've read every single page and I feel like Squidward when he tried a Krabby patty.
10/10
You chose four and I'll try not to rant too much.
(Is it dull?) It's far from it. It's a page-turning work of art and I'm sad that you don't have as many reads.
(Grammar) I noticed a few awkward moments and I'll insert screenshots so you can see exactly what I mean.
In the picture above, you put, "...the large painted blue house." And it reads weirdly. I'd change it to, "...the large house which is painted blue." Or, "The large blue house." Also, instead of using large or small, compare it to an object so we can see how big or how small it is.
"...her teacher brunette haired, Mrs. Cooke."
My version: "...her brunette haired teacher, Mrs. Cooke."
"...stirring a sauce within a silver pot on the stove."
I don't know why but this line made me giggle and not in a bad way. I read it in a weird voice and I couldn't stop myself from laughing. Anywho, you should change that to, "...stirring a silver pot of sauce on the stove." And if it's still cooking, I'd add that in.
(Spelling) Your spelling isn't bad so good job on that!
(Redundancy of certain words/phrases) I haven't noticed anything here neither. You have minimal noticeable mistakes in this book which is amazing in itself.
Thank you for sending me your book! I look forward to reading another one of your works and recommend me to your friends if you're pleased with this review.
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8 488CAPTIVATED
"Alixandria," He whispered my name. His hand was still wrapped around my wrist. My eyes fluttered open and I was caught in his gaze. I was drawn to the silver color in the center of his eyes, his full lips. I still felt a high even more so when he came closer. His hand was now playing with my fingers while the other one gently stroked my cheek. His touch left a trail of fire. My face felt hot. "What is this?" I practically whimpered. I had never felt so physically turned on.Idris's chest heaved too, as if our contact also made him breathless. He was staring at our hands he intertwined. "It's our pull Alixandria," he looked back deep into my eyes, "I told you, you're my soulmate." ~No matter where Alixandria Ross goes, Idris seems to be there for her and an almost fatal encounter reveals the truth of what Idris is and a confession that unsteadies her life. She's his soulmate, but there's just one problem...She already has a soulmate, her boyfriend Henry. However, Idris seems determined to prove otherwise.____________________________________________________________________________Story Rated Mature: some strong language, sexual scenesCategory: ROMANCE/PARANORMAL ROMANCE (read the tags lol)
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