《Salty Book Review》Review #2
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You also requested a mixed review. The same rules apply to you as they did with the previous reviewee; I'm going to write this in the nicest way that I can while also giving you tips on how to improve.
Outstanding title. It caught my eye just as the cover did and I can't find any fault in it at all. The way the woman is adorning a gold-plated suit, strapped for war yet appearing as royal-elegant. It's honestly breathtaking. The placement of the title on the cover is just as stunning but my only issue would be the barely noticeable print for your name. I'd give this a ten out of ten if it weren't for that.
9/10
I love that it's a mixture of Romance and Action. Personally, I prefer reading gory stories over love stories so seeing that there's more to this is interesting to me. I love it!
10/10
In the form, you didn't add a blurb nor did you say the password but I was willing to read a few pages simply because you read more pages of my work than requested. The blurb(summary) was well written in the sense that it adds enough mystery to stroke my curious mind. I did notice a few errors.
"..saving a kingdom from a madman with to much power.."
It should be, "..saving a kingdom from a madman with too much power.."
I'm sure that was a mistake but if not: Too=More than one but not numerical. If you can replace it with "also," then you're using it correctly. "Mine too" "I love you too" "You too." Two=More than one and it's numerical.
To=Destination. I'm also seeing way too many commas.
5/10
There are only two characters so far that I know enough about to form a conclusive opinion.
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(Aria Turner) She comes off as snooty but I can tell that her sternness is due to her concern for her people. She takes pride in what she does and knows how to maneuver a weapon when needed. Her savviness makes her a loveable character and honestly, I can't wait to read more. She could be the love child of Merida from Brave and Elsa from Frozen.
10/10
(Otto Banks) I love how you made him fearful of risking his life for the sake of others. Way too many Wattpad characters are formed to be fearless blood-slaying warriors when in reality, we'd be on the brink of fainting if we were called into battle. My only issue would be how little you put in his name in the book. You use excessive pronouns to the point that I struggled to find his name to write this. I was gonna settle for, "That guy with the name that starts with a C." Be sure to add his name in at least once every other paragraph.
5/10
You don't really have that many pages for me to judge so I won't rate you on this one. I'd recommend downloading Grammarly or any other editing app to gloss over certain typos that you made. Like in two places, you trailed off your sentence. I, of course, commented on it so you could fix it whenever you felt up to it.
N/A
The plot of your book is phenomenal. I could visualize everything I read and it felt like I was being sucked into the book. My only issue would be the lack of world-building. Where are they exactly? From what I've read, they're looking for their king but first, they had to board a ship. Are they in the UK, the US...? Other than that well done!
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5/10
I'm gonna remember this book for a while. It was like watching a unique Disney cartoon and I am eagerly awaiting more.
10/10
Thank you for sending me your book! I look forward to reading another one of your works and recommend me to your friends if you're pleased with this review.
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