Because you asked for a mix between Brutally honest and sugar-coated, I'm going to write this in the nicest way that I can while also giving you tips on how to improve.

I've seen many titles that have resonated with me for years and it made me want to read the book all over again. Your title doesn't do that. As an author who's fully committed to their work, we strive to improve our books so that the next reader will love it just as much as we do. In short, your title is basic. I suggest making it more personal or removing the part after Crush.

5/10

Many fanfictions that I've come across are noteworthy enough to make it into film or collaboration with the original creator. When you read them, some of them at least, you can hardly tell that it's fan-made. This screams fanfiction. Try slowing down on the pacing of your story and minimize the number of times you mention the rapper.

5/10

Your sentence formatting is poor, making the book easy to overlook. This is about a girl named Olivia who likes someone but her ex won't move on with his life? You make it seem like Taymor and Olivia aren't an item but when I read the story, they're doing the very thing that a couple would do. What even are they?

4/10

There aren't too many characters to judge and not many pages to judge by so I'll focus on four.

(Olivia) I don't like the whole "Mess with me or my friends and you die" personality that you gave her. You're glorifying murder and other forms of violence which isn't something to do when you have a huge number of followers who may be impressionable kids. She puts up with the obvious abuse because he's attractive to her and he loves her beautiful brown eyes, ignoring the possibility that he could one day attack her for a simple thing that they could've talked about instead.

0/10

(Taymor) He's the typical bad boy/thug. I genuinely don't like that trope in stories and I try to avoid making my characters appear that way. The violent nature and squeezing her hand until it's purple isn't cute or goals. If my fiance were to see someone flirting with me, he wouldn't squeeze the life out of me or turn furniture over to kill the person. He'd tell the person to back off and the only time he'd resort to violence is if the guy tries to touch me. That's how a dynamic duo handles conflict. I genuinely hope that he doesn't end up with Olivia forever because their relationship is so toxic that I need a hazmat suit to read your story.

0/10

(Raymond) If I had a contest for worst characters ever, he'd be neck and neck with Taymor. I can't even be mad that he's flirting with Olivia because, at this point, I'm starting to feel like she likes it. Correct me if I'm wrong, but if you know that your ex is still in love with you and won't respect your new relationship(if that's even worth being called a relationship), wouldn't you distance yourself from him? I'd block and avoid any other contact with the person because it creates an awkward environment. Which brings me to my next point. Didn't you say only Maddy knows about who Olivia has a crush on? Why is this man talking like he knows also?

0/10

(Maddy) From the little that I've seen, she feels like a sidekick and her actions scream thirteen-year-old innocent girl. That's another trope that could be written poorly and I hope that in future updates, you'll avoid doing that.

5/10

Because your pages are relatively short, and it's only nine pages, it's understandable for the reader to not see any changes in the characters. A good change in each would be the polar opposite of what they are currently. Olivia and Taymor could put the gun-slinging life to bed. Raymond could take a hint and move on with his life. Maddy, well, I don't really have much to say about her because she's hardly a character. Word counts are very important and it's suggested to make each page reach 1000-2000 words.

5/10

I don't even know what the plot of your book is. Is she trying to get him to like her? Is he trying to get her to notice him? They're holding hands and doing other typical couple activities but they're not together. Is this supposed to be seen as complicated? If not, then work on that. Your story has the potential to be a page-turning noteworthy hidden gem but there are too many errors to hook the reader in. Also, does her family own the school she attends because why are her family members a part of the school staff? Notorious gang members at that. It's unrealistic.

4/10

I'm sad to have to say this, but I'm going to easily forget this book in a week. It feels like something I put together when I was first trying out Wattpad. In other words, it's poorly written and needs a lot of glossing over.

2/10

You requested three which are Grammar, Spelling, Is it eye-catching.

(Grammar) You add commas where they don't need to be. A good example of this would be in the first sentence of page one. "Hey ya'll my name is Olivia, I'm 18 years old I'm in the last year of my school life. I cannot wait to leave this shitty ass hell." Uh...awkward. Anyways, I suggest fixing that. Maybe try writing it like this, "Hey, y'all! My name is Olivia. I'm an eighteen-year-old senior and I can't wait to leave this school."

You have run-on sentences that need to be redone to avoid losing readers. A good example would be in the second paragraph of the first page.

"There is this dude who I like his name is Taymor, my ex boyfriend Raymond likes to flirt with me, just to annoy me, everytime he does Taymor get's mad or he will clutch his hands and balls his hands in into a fist."

Even Grammarly is trying to fix it. Read your pages and when you hear where there should be a pause, put a comma there.

"There's this dude that I like and his name is Taymor. My ex-boyfriend, Raymond, likes to flirt with me to annoy me and anger Taymor. I know that it angers Taymor because he tends to ball his hands into fists."

(Spelling) I hardly see any errors with this which is amazing. Though, aunty's is incorrect. It's actually aunties.

(Eye-catching) I can't speak for others but for me personally, I would've overlooked this book simply because I don't like fanfiction, I don't like romance novels, and I don't find Tay K attractive enough to delve into a book dedicated to him.

Thank you for sending me your book! I look forward to reading another one of your works and recommend me to your friends if you're pleased with this review.