chapter forty three

"such a sweet little boy," lydia hummed as she pet the small cat who lied on her chest.

"lydia please quiet down. you've been going all morning with that thing." tatum grumbled sleepily.

usually tatum loved hearing his littles angelic voice, especially in the morning. however, he liked hearing it less when it was not directed towards him. he wished more than anything that lydia would say the things that she said to the kitten, to him. and unfortunately, he didn't think he would be successful in that thought anytime soon.

"i'm sorry, tate. c- can i ask you something?" lydia quietly responded, gently pulling the kittens head into her chest.

"yeah, what is it, little?" tatum tiredly asked, patting blue on the head.

"c- can i take blue to petco so he can get some things for himself? he's my baby, and i should take care of him after all-" lydia began.

"yes, love. we can go in a bit. your other baby is sleepy, angel." tatum half joked.

"n- no, like can i take him myself? i won't get into trouble, you know how well behaved i am, tate." she calmly asked, gently pulling blues head away from tatums touch.

tatum stopped to think to himself for a moment before responding. his little was right, she was very well behaved. for the most part, atleast. then again, if she didn't remember anything bad about tatum, why would she try to escape? not to mention the loving nickname she had called him the night before. the thought of the word coming from his littles mouth soothed him to no end.

"when will you be back?" he asked, sending a look of worry towards his little.

"how far is petco from here?" she asked in return.

"about fifteen minutes," tatum answered briefly while hovering his hand over lydias, tracing her small fingers with one of his large ones.

"then i'll be back in forty five minutes, on the dot." she replied in an attempt to ease the boys nerves, but was met with a brief pause of silence.

"okay, little." tatum slyly agreed, smirking to himself in what seemed to be excitement.

in tatums mind, this was a test for his little. if she wanted to go to the pet store for blue, he would allow it. he wouldn't allow it because he believed that his little should have some time to herself, no. but he would allow it because it would give his little a chance. a chance to prove herself to him, a chance for her to broadcast her loyalty to him, and a chance for another go at cat and mouse.

without another word being shared between the two, tatum slowly got up from the bed and made his way to the closet, in which held the safe. the safe is where tatum kept important things, like lydias phone and both of their car keys. this being said, tatum swiftly grabbed lydias car keys from the safe, being sure to lock it when he was finished.

"be safe, my little." the boy hummed, placing the keys in lydias hands as she now stood in front of him. lydia simply nodded at this, beginning to make her way past tatum and out of the room.

"if you cross me, you will never feel peaceful or safe again lydia." tatum suddenly growled lowly, holding a grip on lydias arm as he did so. this action caused blue to quietly hiss into lydias arms, which she had heard but was sure that tatum did not, as the kittens voice was nothing close to audible yet.

lydia was scared at this action from the boy, seeming as though he had been so okay with the idea prior to that very moment. she thought that something between them had gone smoothly and been easy, for once. the piece of her that had once held anxiousness a few moments prior had suddenly been replaced by fear as she thought of her plan. she had been planning since last night, where she had felt the most safe as tatum was resting. her plan was simple, and it needed to be followed through with.

"o- okay." was all that lydia could seem to muster out, gently biting her lip in anxiety as she did so. she knew that tatum was smart, very smart. and while lydia was naive and lacked many things, she was not stupid. she would play the role that tatum enjoyed most, the role that had made him happy and content. she would play this role until there was no use in playing it any longer.

"go on," he stepped back away from the girl, allowing her to make her own pathway through the bedroom door and eventually the front door as well. lydia wasted no time quickly walking out of the front door, placing herself and blue into the drivers seat of her sedan smoothly.

"goodbye my baby, i love you little. goodbye, blue." tatums voice rang from behind her car door. she jumped at this, as she had not heard any noise around her since he had dismissed her.

"g-goodbye tatum." lydia softly stuttered, causing tatum to flash an amused smile in her direction. tatum could sense his littles fear, and her anxiety, even. he could only do nothing but hope that she was planning on doing the right thing.

tatum said nothing as lydia forced herself to make eye contact with him, doing her best to seem trustworthy. the two exchanged one last moment of eye contact before the girl pulled her vision away from the boy and towards her ignition. as her car came to life, she quickly rolled the windows down so tatum didn't think that she had simply slammed her door shut in his face in attempt to cut the conversation off.

tatum smiled at the gesture, handing his little a debit card. she was unaware of what she had been handed at first, until she sent a confused glanced over it and realized that it was his debit card. before she could contest this act, tatum was already halfway to the front door of the home that they had shared for their short time together.

lydia smiled to herself at the good memories of the home, as that was really all she could remember. she wasn't attempting this getaway because she was afraid of him necessarily, despite his threats, but much rather she had realized that she wanted to go home. she wasn't playing a role because she was scared of tatum, she was playing a role because she didn't want to let him down at the news that she no longer wanted to be around him anymore. a spotty patch in her memory revealed to her that he would get very mean if she were to bring up leaving, but she really couldn't make out any instances where that had happened before.

lydia slowly made her way out of the driveway, sending a final glance back at the house from her rear view mirror. she was met with the sight of tatum, leaning against the doorframe to the entrance of the home. his face held no emotion to its skin, making lydia get a slight shiver as she finally pulled out of the driveway and onto the main road.

she sighed, not really feeling any particular sort of way about her actions. she wasn't necessarily excited to try to find her way home, and she found herself wishing that tatum was there with her so that she could atleast get an idea of where she would be going. she was grateful to have blue, though. lydia had never had another pet besides blue, although she wanted nothing more as she was growing up. she appreciated tatum for that, and he would be special to her for doing an act like that.

in lydias mind, she didn't know what tatum was to her. he was a friend, of course, but the boy had also made it very clear that the two of them were boyfriend and girlfriend. however, lydia knew that both parties had to have an equal some of feelings for the other in order for them to be in a relationship. lydia didn't really know how she felt about tatum when it came to that aspect.

he was kind to her, he made sure that she was always healthy, and he had always planned little treats for her. those were loving acts, and lydia knew this because her parents did the same things for her as well. this brought her to the conclusion that she did not in fact have romantic feelings for the boy. she had love for him, but it was no further than the love that she had for her parents as well.

lydia felt confused at her efforts to educate herself on the topic of relationships and love, as neither of her parents cared to have the discussion with her. she would have to educate herself on a lot of things since the night that she had stepped out to the fair, and to be completely honest, lydia didn't know if she could forgive her parents for that.

not that the events that followed that night were her parents fault by any means, but with the pondering that lydia had done last night she had came to the conclusion that none of it was her fault, either. if raya had told her about the situations that occurred outside of her small parental bubble, lydia didn't think that she would've been exposed to the events that unfolded from that night.

in a way, lydia felt like she lost some of herself while being with tatum. she would've never had a negative thought of her parents if she had not met him. he really caused her to slightly open her eyes to what really lies in the shadows, the things that her mother was too afraid to teach her about. although lydia could simply not figure out how he had taught her those things. he was not bad to her, so why had she felt so negatively of him?

-

tatums eyes held strongly onto his phones screen like a magnet, staring at the location of the girl as she moved in the opposite direction of which she was supposed to. he knew it was going to occur, however he still couldn't seem to control his anger when it came down to it actually happening in front of him. he was more composed this time rather than last, as he felt a bit of excitement that she had taken the bait that he had effortlessly placed.

cat and mouse.

his little hasn't changed, and he was foolish to think that. she would always be afraid of him, taking each opportunity to get away as she could. however, tatum quite enjoyed this. he had missed playing with his little, he had missed tormenting her.

tatums meds sat motionless on the bathroom counter, waiting to be taken. it defeated the entire process of him beginning to take them again, meaning that he would become worse after breaking the loop. he had gotten so caught up in the actions from his little today that he had simply forgotten to take them, which was affecting him greatly although he had not known it. tatum was like a light switch, and whenever he had taken his pills the light would turn off. there was no transition, there were no warning signs. he would go to sleep sweet, and he would wake up as a completely different side of himself.

he couldn't control what he was going to do to his little, but he knew that she would never leave him again after he had done it.

for he loved her, his little lamb.

unfortunately, tatum was the lion.

his undying love held no compassion against her, for the lion must eat the lamb.

-

sequel / book 2 ??

lmk bc i wanna make one so bad but idk if you guys will read it LOL

YOU GUYS ARE GONNA BE SO MAD AT MEEE THE ENDING IS SO SUDDEN IM SRRY ITS IMPORTANT THAT IT ENDS THIS WAY SWEAR

thank you so much from those who have read from the beginning, sharing lots of thoughts and laughs in the comments with myself and with one another.

I LOVE YOU !!

furthermore, i will be making a new book that has similar themes to this one, which i will announce on my message board along with the release date of the sequel to lydia. make sure 2 stay updated!!