chapter twenty nine

"stop." beamer stated tiredly yet firmly in her ear as he was becoming annoyed.

he had insisted on laying down all day, but lydia wasn't having it. she was never the type to lay around and do nothing so this was something new to her. as they were laying in bed together, beamer had wrapped his arm around lydia in an attempt to keep her still so that he could relax. and every time that she moved, he would tighten his grip. she was already very antsy about staying in bed all day but now his tight grip made it even more difficult to succumb to.

"you're hurting me," she began to complain as she took her hand to his in an attempt to pry him off of her.

"lydia, you're pushing your luck. stop moving." he demanded, pulling her closer to himself.

she was like his little flower, and he believed that as long as his flower was in his sight of vision and field of touch, she was safe. if he couldn't see or feel her then she simply was not being put under safe conditions. it would be easy for him to allow her to move freely around the house all day so that he could finally find some peace in laying down and putting his headache at ease, but that would simply be miserable for him. he couldn't get peaceful sleep unless she was by his side.

"please, beam. i can't do this, i'm antsy-" she began.

"oh my god, lydia! fine!" he angrily cut her off before releasing her from his grip. she was a bit taken back by this, but not surprised. she knew she was working her way up to upsetting him, but she didn't care at the moment. she didn't want to be cooped up in the house.

"can we go back to the butterfly exhibit?" she asked hopefully.

"absolutely not, lydia. why would we do that?" he replied obviously.

"because that's where we were supposed to go, before.. you know-" she continued.

"before you were mine?" he questioned. she nodded in response, but beamer wasn't pleased with that.

"use your words, little." he warned her, placing his hand on top of hers.

"yes, before i was yours, beamer." she mumbled.

"i know exactly where we're going to go today, baby."

-

the two sat happily hand in hand as beamer drove along the dirt path. she still had no idea where they were going, but she was excited nonetheless. she struggled to believe that she was actually able to change beamers mind for their plans today. she never thought she would be able to do that to him, as she had known him to always be very set on his word. it made her think that maybe she was becoming of worth to him, and she held genuine excitement to the thought of him actually treating her as more than someone he could yell at. she didn't know how much she meant to him.

"are you taking me somewhere to kill me?" she half jokingly asked him as she squeezed his hand a bit.

"you think i could handle myself if you died?" he chuckled as he glanced over towards her. she looked absolutely beautiful.

"i don't know, beam. i thought you were going to kill me, on multiple occasions in fact." she laughed. however, he dropped his smile and looked over to her with a serious expression.

"you think i won't fucking kill anyone that threatens to take you from me? and guess what? if i were the person to do that, i would kill me too. you only deserve light and love, pet. i would never hurt you." the threatening tone from his voice had also stopped her laughter as well.

typical beamer. whenever they have a good moment, he ruins it with threatening words. and even if they aren't towards her, she didn't like violence. especially not coming from him. she was sort of comforted by what he had said to her though, however the thoughts of him hurting her in the past few days came to her mind. they were stopped quickly though, as she took the time to realize that he never physically harmed her. he had just hurt her feelings a few times, and scared her quite often. maybe squeezed her a bit too tight in some cases as well.

"look, little" he gently said, pointing towards the ground. the car came to a sudden stop causing lydia to look in the direction he was pointing towards.

"a monarch!" she squealed, immediately unbuckling her seatbelt and opening the passenger door.

and just like that, where he was mean, he made up for it. she just wished he would stay that way.

the two travelled the dirt path for awhile until they finally reached grass. lydia wasn't very pleased that he was driving all over freshly grown green grass, but she was content with the peaceful atmosphere so she decided she wasn't going to say anything about it. they were no longer holding hands due to her jumping out of the car, but beamer held a tight grasp on her thigh like he usually did.

soon enough, beamer had pulled up to an amazing serene cliff edge. the cliff was full of green grass, and held a beautiful old tree in which held a little swing that overlooked the ledge. the sun would be setting soon, so the view would be even prettier. the field of grass held little flowers that possessed multiple different color schemes amongst one another. lydia had absolutely no words for how beautiful it was, so she simply didn't speak and instead looked around in awe.

"i used to come here in high school when i was upset with my parents," he began to speak as he parked the car in the grass.

"come, little." he spoke gently, walking around to her side of the car door.

she complied, stepping out of the car as he held the door for her. it didn't take long for him to intertwine their fingers once more. only this time, he was the one giving her the gentle reminder that he was there with the slide of his thumb against her own. he watched her intently as she gazed around in awe, causing a soft smile to spread across his face. he could tell that she wanted absolutely nothing more than to run around and explore the area but he would wait for her questioning amongst him to do so.

and with that thought that he possessed, that's exactly what she did. her bright eyes looked up to him in an excitement fueled gaze in which was met with beamers smile as he awaited her request.

"can i go look, beam?" she politely asked. he granted her access to do so with a nod of his head and the release of her hand from his. and with that, she walked off to explore.

he watched her as she made her way around the field, picking up her favorite flowers along the way. she was nothing less than absolutely gorgeous to him, and he felt as though he would never get tired of looking at her. everytime his eyes laid sight on her he found it harder and harder to look away, and he kept track of how much the spot in his heart for her was growing with every second they spent together.

and then, he saw her for her. he saw her for her innocence, her happiness, her brightness. and he couldn't help but want nothing more than to destroy it. and if breaking her would get him to that point, then oh baby, he would break her.