"What do you want?" I ask Archer, the moment I open our front door.

"I need to talk to you."

"If this is about my job, we can talk tomorrow at work. If it's personal, ah.. we have nothing to say to each other."

He looks at me with miserable eyes, his voice breaks when he says, "Please, give me ten minutes. I promise, I won't take much of your time."

I eye him suspiciously, but he assures me that what he's going to say is very important.

I opened the door wider and let him in. We went to the back balcony and sat side by side on the wooden bench.

"I had a talk with Mrs. Adolf this afternoon."

"So?" I put my arms together, feeling bored already. Mrs. Shannon Adolf is a well-known socialite in Baltimore.

"She told me the truth about Trevor."

My heart jumps at the mention of Trevor. Shannon Adolf's son.

It had been two and a half years since Trevor died. He took his own life because of extreme sadness. He stated in his letter that he was heartbroken, because the love of his life could not love him back, and is in love with another man.

Unfortunately, Mrs. Adolf assumed it was me that Trevor fell in love with, because we hung out often before he died. The truth, we were just good friends. Our friendship started when we became partners in our social studies assignment. The assignment encouraged openness with each other. Trevor opened up to me his dilemma of being gay, the man he's so obsessed with, and his fear of not being accepted by his parents.

I stay silent, waiting for Archer to tell me what he discovered.

"He's gay," he continues, "Mrs. Adolf found pictures of naked men in his closet's secret compartment."

Finally, the truth revealed, and came not from my mouth.

"Dammit Roxanne, aren't you going to say anything?"

I let out a long sigh, "what's the use, the damage has been done."

"You should have told me the truth?"

"Would you believe me if I did? You judged me right away without even listening to my explanation. You believed your mom and Mrs. Adolf... and thought the worst of me. I was expecting you to defend me, because I thought you knew me better, but you accused me of leading Trevor on."

"I'm so sorry, my jealousy blinded me. I said things I did not mean to say."

"You called me many names that I could not take. Fucking bitch, flirt, and a cheater. That really hurt, coming from the man I loved."

"Oh God, I'm so sorry Roxanne..." he walks towards me, then kneels on the floor in front of me. His hands clasp mine, as he begs for forgiveness, "please forgive me Rox, I did not know, I thought you betrayed me. I was such an idiot for not trusting you."

I stand up, leaving him kneeling on the floor. I walk to the door, opening it for him to leave.

"Please go now. There's no use talking about it anymore, it just opens up wounds. It's hard to forgive you now, maybe in the future then, who knows."

"I hope it won't take long," he stands up and moves closer to me, "I still love you, Roxanne and I never stopped loving you, even for a second. I'll be honest with you, I want you back and I'll do anything to make up for you."

"Stop this nonsense, Archer. We can never go back to where we were before. My love for you is gone."

"Then I will pick each broken piece and place it back together," he says with certainty, then leaves.

That night, I found it hard to sleep. There are too many things in my brain. Flashes in the past about Trevor, Mrs. Adolf, yelling at me, degrading words from Archer's mother, and Archer himself, calling me a fucking bitch. I drink a glass of milk; I count sheep; I watch shark documentaries, but it doesn't work.

I avoided thinking of Grayson and our kiss, but gave in. The giddy feeling is back making my stomach swirl and my head spin. I imagined myself making love with Grayson, kissing him... touching him.. hugging him... until finally, I fell into a deep sleep.