The days go by as I've been told and each day is like the one before it. I may not be aware of how many days it has been but all hope of ever getting out of here has been lost, though it never even was inside me at all. I wake up and stare at the wall until he comes inside the room, and he takes me, then he forces me to eat before he leaves. After he is gone I count the seconds until he comes back and each time it is about 28,800 seconds but there are times that the number goes to 29,000 and sometimes even higher.

The wall in front of me is my only companion as all I do is stare at it. I'm still handcuffed to the bed and I'm only allowed to stand up from the bed once when he takes me to the bathroom each evening I think, there he makes me use the bathroom as he watches, and he forces me to pee on a pregnancy test. When he comes home he takes me again for what feels like hours and when he's done he leaves. Some time later he comes back with dinner and makes me eat.

Once I've eaten he takes me to the toilet but after that, he has taken me to the bed and chained me back down and forces me to take a sleeping pill where the darkness takes me away from the world. And then I do everything all lover again and it never stops. It feels like the world is just passing by me but I'm still stuck here and I can't move and I can't do anything. I've not said a word in days, not a sound has ever come from my mouth either.

I no longer scream when he does things to me and I no longer try to resist. All I do is stare at that wall and just wait. For what? I don't know and I don't care. I've stopped hoping for someone to come and rescue me as I already know that they won't. Everyone has forgotten about it, I'm sure of that, and they have moved on. The people that I surrounded myself with are too busy with their own lives to take any part in thinking of mine. Perhaps it is for the best that it is like this.

My body is constantly in pain but I've learned to numb out the pain to the point where I barely even feel it and yet at the same time I feel it all the time. Pain is becoming a friend that I want to push away but I still want to keep it close to me. While I've lost everything in my life, the pain is all that I have which I can call mine or perhaps I can't. My memories are starting to get blurry as I'm nothing but a dying person but I never seem to be able to achieve death.

The irony is how when people are alive they don't want to die, they do die in the end but when someone like me is begging for death, it doesn't want anything to do with me. Like the more that I wish for the death, the more it refuses me and only wants those who don't want it. The world is cruel. That is not new to me and I always knew it was cruel but this is just worse than anything. I feel like my mind is losing itself with all the thoughts but at the same time there are no thoughts which run through my mind.

As I'm counting the seconds and I start to hear some sounds coming from the outside the door. Not unusual when he's around but I've not made it to 28,800 seconds or over that. It leaves me confused to the point where I lose my count and I stare at the door. Tearing my eyes from the wall that I've looked so much at but never quite made sense out of it, but that can be said about everything else that is happening around here.

The sounds become louder and louder, but they don't come near me and I wonder if my mind has officially lost it and if I'm going insane. The sounds are violent as if things are being thrown around or if people are fighting. I don't know what is happening and it should not matter to me. And then all of a sudden the sounds stop and everything becomes silent again and even when I would want to know what had taken place, it's best that I never find out and I know it does not concern me in any way.

The silence is what makes this place unbearable. To hear nothing but the sounds that I create. My own breath or my own heartbeat that only reminds me that I'm still alive and I'm not gone, that I'm still nod gone from this world. That I'm still here and I'm still suffering through this pain that I have to endure. The silence makes all of that feel real. There are times that I enjoy when the darkness swallows me as I wish it would take and the light would never find me again and I would be gone from then world.

The door slams open. Making me jump up from being startled by him. From the corners of my eyes I watch him enter the room, holding something in his hands. As he walks over to me, I can feel smells begin to shake and my body wishing nothing more than to get away from him. He sets down a silver tray with a dome shaped silver lid on top. It's quite heavy and as I look down at it, I hear him chuckle. "Open it" He whispers to me and with my limit movements which I can make I lift the lid from the tray and for the first time in days, I scream. I let out a loud blood-curling scream.