I promised myself that I would not cry because of this but the more that the seconds pass by, the harder it gets. He had cut my hair. Now I have short hair. It used to reach down to my waist and now it is just barely touching my shoulders. Though, hair grows back, I know. I sit in the bed that I'm in and look down at my lap. Trying my hardest not to look up at him again. I made that mistake and I will not do it again. My cheek is stinging for that and I'm doing whatever I can to remain calm.

I take a deep breath to calm myself but I can't since he's in the room. I can feel his eyes on me at all time, watching my every move as if he were studying me. I'm frozen to the spot. Not only can't I move because I'm in handcuffs but also because he's here and the fear inside me is rising. "Why the long face, little one?" He asks me. I don't know why but once I found his voice comforting and calm and even enjoyable but now it's so dark and so twisted.

His voice cuts through the silence like a knife but I don't answer nor do I even move. A tear slips down from my eye and lands on my lap, and I hold back the sobs that are so eager to break free from my lips but I bite my own tongue to hold them in. Suddenly I hear him walk over to the bed and I flinch when he comes over and stands beside me. I have nowhere to go as I'm stuck here and there is only so much distance that I can create between us.

A gasp escapes past my lips when his hand reaches under my chin, and he grips upon my chin and jaw and roughly forces me to look up at him. His eyes stare down at me and it is like they are burning their way into my skull and perhaps they are. "I ask you a question, and I expect an answer" He speaks, everything inside him screams anger. My chest is hurting as I feel the tears fall from my eyes, unable to even control it at all. I slowly nod my head. "I'm scared" I speak, surprised that I was able to find my voice.

He's standing there and holding me and his grip only tightens around my jaw. Fear is running through me as I look at him directly into the eyes. Even when I try not to, but looking away will only result in more pain. Yet at the same time when I had looked on him when he had walked inside and even called his name, he had thrown a fit. Slapped me hard on the cheek to the point where I actually felt my neck creak a bit and the pain is still radiating in my cheek.

And he had decided to punish me for it. "You don't have to be afraid, darling. We are together and we will stay together. Tonight when the sun sets, we will make sure our relationship is taken to the next level. It won't hurt, that much" He speaks and I can see the evil smirk which comes across his face. Shivers for all the wrong reasons are running up and down my entire body as I freeze. Knowing exactly what he's referring to and the fear which was inside my body is consuming me whole and it is taking over me.

I'm close to shaking from terror. "As for now, how about a little tease of tonight" He speaks. Confusion comes across me, but then he lets go off my jaw and it hurts even more now but as he takes my hand. His old hands bring me nothing but unwanted shivers which I hate. I look at what he does to my hand and it's not until he reaches with my hand, no matter ho much I try to resist, down his pants that I'm shocked beyond anything. I try to move my hand, but he holds me rather tightly and his grip is most likely trying to cut off the blood supply to my fingers.

I can feel his thing and I can feel how hard it is. It makes me disgusted and it brings nothing but horrible memories into my brain. Memories which I had thought I had long forgotten, they all rise up inside my brain. The horrible memorizes of the abuse that I had to withstand as a child is brining me nothing but pain and I can remember all the agony that I went through. All of it comes up as if it were happening now. I don't look up at his face anymore as I'm staring at the world.

He then lets go of my hand and I'm quick to take it away from him, still I can't go very far with my hand handcuffed to the bed. He leans down to my ear. "Don't worry, you'll get plenty of this tonight" He whispers into my ear as I silently cry. My body petrified. He says something else but I don't hear it and I don't are about it. I don't know how long passes before he walks away but I could hear the door slam shut and a click follows.

The room goes silent but my cries are heard, yet at the same time no one but me hears them. For a moment I'm back in that room as a child, those men around me. Touching me and destroying me in every way possible. The pain is everywhere in my body and I can still feel it. Even after all those years. I'm back there again, like if it were still happening. A part of me wonders if my life is now a dream that my child self had created to protect myself, and perhaps I'm still there.