The light is the first thing that I see but as I look around I see Steel sitting in a chair near a bed that I'm lying in. Confusion comes across my whole posture as I look at myself. Seeing that I'm lying down in a bed that I think is a hospital bed. When my eyes start searching around the room I notice that I'm in a hospital room. Why? I don't know. I can't seem to be able to grasps my memories at the moment and I wonder what had happened to me to make me end up in a hospital.

My whole body feels weak and while I don't necessarily feel any pain in any of my limbs I do feel this numbness or perhaps this weakness that travels through me. On my arm I'm hooked up to some machines that are beside me. I'm not familiar with hospital machines but I would have to guess it's IV or something in that matter. My eyes once again find themselves at Steel. He's looking out through the window which is near the bed. Lying down here I can't see what he sees but when I look at him I see the pain written across his face.

I open my mouth to speak but no words come out and it is only then that I realize that my throat feels so dry that even swallowing is a bit hard and it burns slightly. I move my hand closer to him but my hand has a hard time even moving at all as my body is so weak. I desperately want him to know that I'm here and I'm awake, yet I can't. I have nothing to create any sounds and I can barely even move. My legs are worse than my hands and while I did move my foot a centimeter it was still not enough to catch his attention.

On the other hand while there is pain on his face there is also beauty, Steel's beauty is something that I find myself admiring and actually loving but it is not just the beauty that he has on the outside but on the inside too. He has a beautiful soul and it shines, I can see it shine and it is so bright and beautiful. One might think that it is magical and perhaps it is, I would not be surprised about it if it were.

His attention is so focused on what is out there in the world but somehow I feel that he is just staring out there, but he's not truly looking. He's lost in his own mind as I am lost in mine. Somehow I have this craving to touch him, to show him that he doesn't need to be afraid anymore because in this moment I feel as if he's scared and alone, and he wants someone to hold him and make him feel all right, we both need that, and we both can get it from each other.

The longer that I'm awake I start to gain memories of what happened, but they are still so tangled up and I have a hard time sorting out what is real and what is not. Memories from my childhood wash before my eyes which mix up with every other memory. It confuses me greatly but at the same time there are some things that are starting to piece together. I think I can remember being with Steel and then something happened but I have yet to figure out what that something is, if I will ever know.

My body is exhausted even when I've not even moved nor done that much, and yet I feel like I'm out of breath and just more tired than I have ever been in my life. Not even when I ran a marathon was I this exhausted nor when I had danced for hours until my legs were hurting, bruised and bleeding but this feels much worse than any of that, this is not pain yet it is so close to it and the exhaustion is draining the life out of me, like as if everything has been flipped.

If I don't do anything I will get tired and if I move then I will be fresh and not even tired. Right now I'm so exhausted that I'm starting to ramble on and mix things together and even confuse myself. I'm getting no closer to getting Steel's attention and I don't think I'm going to be able to get it any time soon as I just let out a silent sight and close my eyes. Knowing it will be better if I get some sleep and gather my energy before I do anything else, though my heart is screaming at me to be awake so that I could be with him.

When my eyes are closed my soul can still see him clearly. Perhaps the crush that I have for him is much deeper than I would like to believe but maybe that is a good thing. We may not have known each other for a long time but I know deep within everything that I am that we need each other to function. Without him I was just a lost girl who danced to get a break from the world, to be transferred into a world of magic where only happiness existed.

With him in my life I don't need to escape from this world, I can embrace it. He makes me feel safe and protected and like I can do and be whatever I want. He is showing me that I can be free, without even knowing what he's doing. He is also showing me how to love, and he's guiding me and my heart over to himself. However, he's not taking my heart, I'm giving it to him. I'm handing it over to him as I have started to grow feelings for him, I know this and I believe I'm falling in love.Z