Just a couple of short weeks later,Dec found himself sat in the passenger seat of Ant's car on the long drive up the A1 motorway towards Newcastle.

To say that he was nervous was an understatement and he was unusually quiet on the journey up.

"Alright there Dec?" Ant asked,noting Dec's silence.

"Yeah" Dec nodded,as he continued to watch the countryside pass by from the window.

"Getting a bit warmer now isn't it?" Ant smiled "spring is in the air"

"Thank God" Dec mumbled.

"Listen Dec" Ant said gently "I know you're worried about today,which is totally understandable,but try not to overthink it eh?You won't be doing yourself any favours"

"I'm bloody terrified" Dec suddenly blurted out "come with me"

"What?" Ant asked surprised.

"Come with me" Dec repeated "to see me Mam and whoever else might be there...please"

"Dec" Ant sighed "you know I can't do that?"

"Why not?" Dec pleaded.

"Because it's inappropriate" Ant replied "you're seeing your family for the first time in God knows how long and I'm a complete stranger to them,they won't want me there,sorry Dec,but this is something you'll have to do by yourself"

Dec stayed quiet,he knew Ant was right,but that didn't make it any easier.

"But I'll be there ready and waiting if you need me afterwards" Ant smiled.

He had booked them both into a local hotel,separate,but adjoining rooms,in case Dec preferred to be alone after what would no doubt be an emotional occasion,no matter how it turned out.

Dec was actually wishing Ant would drive slower,not wanting the time to arrive where he would come face to face with his family after everything that had happened.

"Shall we stop for something to eat?" Dec suggested "there's a service station a couple of miles ahead"

"Do we have to?" Ant frowned "we left early to avoid the worst of the traffic and to get there at a reasonable time"

"I'm hungry though" Dec shrugged.

Ant knew that that was probably just an excuse for Dec to put off the inevitable just a little bit longer,but he also knew he'd probably feel exactly the same in his position and it wasn't in his nature to be unnecessarily harsh anyway.

"Ok" he smiled "but not for too long ok?"

"Ok" Dec agreed,happy with the outcome.

Dec was a little bit more chatty as he sat down to his steak and kidney pie and chips.

"Bloody delicious" Dec grinned,wiping a dribble of gravy from his chin with a napkin.

"Don't know how you can eat such a heavy meal so early in the day?" Ant laughed.

"Well,as you made me get up so ridiculously early" Dec quipped "it feels like dinner time anyway"

"Fair point" Ant grinned as he tucked into his much lighter meal of scrambled egg on one slice of toast.

"How are your nerves holding up?" Ant asked.

"Pretty much the same" Dec replied "dreading it"

"You're looking at it from the wrong angle" Ant pointed out.

"What do you mean?" Dec asked.

"Well" Ant smiled,as he took a sip of coffee "why exactly are you dreading it?"

"Dunno" Dec sighed "maybe in case they reject me,tell me to fuck off,are angry at me...you know?"

"I understand why you feel like that" Ant smiled sympathetically "but what if they don't do any of those things?What if they're really happy to see you?have forgiven you?missed you?Don't you think those things might be possible?"

"Maybe" Dec nodded "guess I'm just a glass half empty kind of person"

"And that's totally understandable after everything you've been through" Ant smiled "but maybe things can change"

"I hope so" Dec replied as he finished off his meal.

"Ready to get going then?" Ant asked.

"Ready as I'll ever be" Dec nodded.

The two men were soon back on the road,heading closer and closer to their beloved Newcastle.

"Home" Ant stated a couple of hours later when the Tyne bridge came into view and shortly afterwards they were pulling into the hotel's car park.

After getting settled Ant knew he would have to give Dec a gentle nudge in the right direction.

"So when are you going to your Mams?" He asked,noting that Dec was making himself comfortable on his bed and turning the tv on.

"No hurry is there?" Dec asked casually.

"Stop being a dick" Ant replied playfully "there's no time like the present,so I'm dropping you off at your Mams right now"

"But I'm tired" Dec protested "after that long journey"

"Yeah" Ant laughed "where you sat on your arse gazing out of the window,while I did all your driving,so I'm the one who should be tired"

"Are you?" Dec grinned "maybe we should both have a nap then?"

"You're acting like a petulant teenager" Ant laughed "now come on,let's go"

Ant threw one of Dec's shoes at him that he hadn't long taken off.

"Oi" Dec replied "that hurt"

"And the other one will hurt even more if you don't get your arse in gear" Ant quipped.

Dec knew he was fighting a losing battle,so reluctantly put his shoes back on and made his way back to Ant's car.

Dec stared at his former childhood home once Ant parked outside.

"This is it then?" Ant smiled "this is your family home?"

"Yeah" Dec nodded,trying to shrink down into his seat to make himself smaller,in case anyone he knew passed by and saw him.

"I'm going to go to me Mam's while you're in there Dec" Ant announced "we don't know how long you'll be,could be five minutes or five hours, so if you just call me when you're ready,I'll come and pick you up,ok?"

"Ok" Dec agreed "but can you wait a couple of minutes,she might not even be in"

"Of course I can" Ant smiled "now off you go and good luck"

"Thanks" Dec mumbled,as he slowly got out of the car and made his way up the garden path.

He turned to look at Ant who was watching him intently.

"Go on" he mouthed encouragingly and nodded in support.

Dec turned back and faced the front door,he noticed that it had been painted since he was last here,it used to be red,but now it was dark blue.

He took a deep breath and nervously rang the doorbell...that was still the same,he knew that chime well,the amount of times he'd had to ring it as a young man when he'd forgotten his keys or been too drunk to find them after nights out with the lads.

Luckily his mother was always awake,she could never sleep until she knew Dec was home safely anyway.

But now,Dec realised he was holding his breath as he heard the gentle padding of footsteps the other side of the door.

Then it opened!

And before him stood his beloved mother,who he hadn't seen for so long.

"DECLAN" she stated in total surprise.

Dec opened his mouth,but try as he might,no words would come out.

He turned to Ant again who was watching intently.

"Go on in" he called out,while making a shooing motion with his hand.

Dec turned back to his mother who already had tears streaming down her face,so Dec attempted to speak again.

"I...I..." he stuttered "I thought...um...I'd like...Mam,can we...?"

"Oh Declan" Anne suddenly fell into Dec's arms,sobbing uncontrollably.

Dec hadn't been expecting this reaction,he wasn't sure what he had been expecting,but definitely not this.

After a few seconds of Anne wrapping her arms tightly around him and crying into his chest,Dec replied in kind,holding his mother tight and letting his tears soak into her hair.

"I'm sorry Mam" he sobbed "I'm so sorry"

Ant felt tears pricking his own eyes as he watched the emotional display,but then decided it was time to go and leave the mother and son alone,so drove off to make his way to his own family,unnoticed by Dec.

"What are you doing here?" Anne sobbed through her tears "do you want to come in?"

Dec nodded tearfully as he pulled out of the hug.

"Is anyone else here?" He asked cautiously.

"No,just me" Anne confirmed.

She led Dec into the living room where they both sat down on the sofa.

"I can't believe you're here Decky" Anne smiled,tears already forming once again.

"I know" Dec smiled gently and took his Mams hands in his.

"I missed you so much Mam" Dec whispered "all of you and I...I wanted to make things right,it's been so long"

"How have you been Declan?" Anne enquired "have you been happy at least?that's all I've ever wanted for you"

"No Mam" Dec sighed with a heavy heart "I haven't"

"What's happened?" She asked concerned "did things not work out with Ali?I heard you have a child now?"

"How did you know that?" Dec asked curiously.

"That's not important" Anne smiled "what's important is that you're here now,not a single day has passed by that I didn't think about you and wonder how you were...where you were...even if you were still alive,oh Decky,it's been so awful"

"I was homeless" Dec suddenly blurted out.

"What?" Anne asked shocked.

"I was homeless" Dec repeated "I was living on the streets,cold,hungry and scared"

"Oh my God Dec" Anne put her hand to her mouth "why?I don't understand"

"I should have listened to you" Dec said sadly "you were right about Ali all along"

"Really?" Anne frowned "what did she do?"

"Chucked me out" Dec replied matter of factly "I lost my job and everything,I had nowhere to go so ended up living on the streets,eating discarded food from bins...oh Mam,it was horrendous"

"Declan,why on earth didn't you come home?" Anne sobbed,the thought of what her youngest child had had to endure was breaking her heart "I'd never want to see any of my kids out on the streets"

"I was too proud I guess" Dec sighed "didn't want to admit I'd been wrong and I was ashamed of the horrible things I'd said"

"That's all water under the bridge now" Anne smiled through her tears "all that matters is that you're here"

"I wish I had listened to you" Dec sighed "you knew Ali was a wrongun from the start,I could have saved myself so much heartache,oh Mam she's put me through hell,you just can't imagine"

"I think I can" Anne said with a hint of anger in her voice "there was always something just so unlikable about her,it just didn't sit right with me,I don't like to interfere in my kids love lives,but she wasn't good enough for you"

"She was abusive" Dec said softly "mentally,physically,emotionally,it was so cruel,she made me feel worthless,like a piece of shit...and she took my daughter from me"

"I'm so sorry you've been going through all this Decky" Anne replied sympathetically "I hope karma comes back to get her"

"Can you ever forgive me?" Dec pleaded.

"Of course I can" Anne beamed "but are you getting your life back together now?"

"Yeah,I am Mam" Dec smiled.

"And that's all because of one very special person!"