Of course Ant swore to Fonsey that he would always look after Dec,not that he even needed to make that promise,taking care of Dec came naturally to Ant no matter what the circumstances were,but he understood why Fonsey needed that assurance.

Dec travelled up to Newcastle as much as he could over the coming weeks and months,often with Ant in tow if he was able to accompany him.It was a scary time for Dec though,as much as he always wanted to see his dad and the rest of the family as much as possible,it broke his heart watching his beloved father deteriorate right in front of his eyes.

Each time he visited,Dec noticed the difference in his dad.Fonsey was becoming weaker,sicker and more frail everytime he saw him,until Anne came out with the line Dec been dreading.

"I think your dad needs to go into a hospice Decky" she announced sadly during one of Decs visits "I just can't take care of him on my own anymore,it's too much"

Of course,all of Decs siblings and their partners had been helping out as much as they could,but it wasn't always practical with them having to work or bring up small kids and Fonsey obviously needed specialist care now.

"Oh Mam" Dec replied tearfully "do we have to?I'll come home more,I'll help you out as much as I can,I'm sorry I haven't been pulling my weight"

"Declan" Anne scolded "don't you dare talk like that.You've been home loads recently and you have been absolutely wonderful to me and your father"

"I still wish I could do more" Dec whispered sadly.

"There isn't anything more you can do" Anne replied kindly "your dad is now bed bound,it's become too much for me to try and get him to the toilet and try and persuade him to eat,he needs proper,professional care"

"I can hire a nurse?" Dec announced hopefully.

"That still wouldn't be enough" Anne replied sadly.

"A team of nurses then?" Dec replied.

"No Declan" Anne stated firmly "it's already been decided,your father and I had this conversation a while ago and he said he wanted to go into a hospice when the time came,he doesn't want to be a burden on any of us"

"He would never be a burden" Dec snapped.

"You know what I mean Decky" Anne sighed "he will get the best care in the hospice,better than what we can give"

"I'll pay for it then" Dec insisted.

"There's nothing to pay for Declan" Anne pointed out "hospice care is free"

"I need to do something" Dec mumbled.

"Is that way you keep offering to pay for things?" Anne enquired concerned "to feel useful?like you're contributing something?"

Dec nodded sadly,he hated the fact that he couldn't go home as often as he would have liked due to work commitments and it made him feel hopeless and guilty,especially as all his siblings lived very close to his parents.

Obviously none of his family held this against him,they all understood,but nevertheless,he couldn't shake off the way he felt.

"Declan" Anne sighed,taking Decs hand into hers as they sat side by side on the sofa "you are a silly boy,you have been an absolutely wonderful son to us,you are our pride and joy and we both know you come up as much as you can and do whatever you can for us,now I don't want to hear anymore of this silliness ok?"

Dec nodded sadly as he leant in towards his mam and she placed an arm around him.

"I'm sorry Mam" Dec replied "I just don't know how you're coping so well with all this?I feel like I'm falling to pieces"

"Oh,believe me Declan,I have cried a river of tears" Anne stated sadly "but I just get on with things because I have to,what choice do I have?I can't imagine my life without your dad,it's going to be so terribly hard,but that's just how it has to be"

"Well,it's shit" Dec replied bluntly.

Anne resisted the motherly urge to tell her son off for his bad language,she'd let this one slide under the circumstances.

"Yeah,it is" she agreed.

"So when will he go to the hospice?" Dec enquired.

"As soon as possible" Anne replied "as long as they have a bed"

"Ugh,so we might have to wait for someone to die before he can go?" Dec frowned "that's horrible"

"I'm sure it won't come to that" Anne smiled "there's other places,but we like this one and it's not too far away.I'm going to give them a call now to see if we can make arrangements"

"Can't dads doctor do that?" Dec asked.

"Yeah,he can" Anne nodded "but I want to do it,they're just waiting for my call to give the go ahead"

"Ok" Dec replied with understanding,although he really didn't want to hear the conversation his mam was about to have,so he made himself a quick cup of tea and went outside to sit on the garden bench.

Unfortunately,he could still hear Anne talking rather loudly on the phone through the open living room window.A tear rolled down his cheek as he watched a couple of sparrows pecking at the bird seed that Anne had put out on the little,wooden bird table.

Dec smiled at the thought of his caring mother.It didn't matter what was going on in her life,how awful things often were,she still always made time to care for the smaller things.

Dec shook his head affectionately at the amount of lighthearted arguments he'd had with Anne about her bird table in case it attracted the dreaded pigeons that he was so scared of,but secretly,he loved the compassion Anne showed for the other tiny feathered friends and Anne and Dec would often sit in the garden together watching the sparrows,starlings and blue tits happily feast on the generous offerings,the occasional visiting robin always made Anne particularly happy.

"It's all sorted" Anne startled Dec out of his thoughts as she came outside to join him in the garden.

"When?" Dec asked.

"Tomorrow" Anne replied.

"Tomorrow?" Dec repeated surprised "that soon?"

"No point in putting it off any longer" Anne replied sadly "he'll be properly looked after and we can visit whenever we like,there are no set visiting hours"

"That's good" Dec nodded.

"I'll be going with him when the ambulance comes and I'll be spending every day there with him,I'll only be coming home to shower and sleep"

"Mam" Dec replied firmly "you have to look after yourself too,is that going to be good for you?you have to take care of yourself"

"Declan" Anne smiled "this place is absolutely wonderful,don't worry about me,they'll basically be looking after me too,providing me with meals and all that.This is end of life care,they expect families to be around a lot,they're used to it"

Dec winced at his Mam using the 'end of life' phrase,even though he knew that was exactly what it was,he just hated to hear it said in such a matter of fact manner,especially by his own mother.

"Do you want to come with us tomorrow Dec?" Anne asked "I think it might be good for you to see the place"

"Ok" Dec nodded compliantly "I wonder if dad's awake yet?"

"Pop up and see if you like" Anne smiled.

So Dec made his way upstairs and into his parents bedroom and sat gently down on the edge of the bed,attempting to make as little noise and movement as possible as Fonsey was obviously still asleep judging by the gentle snoring that was eminating from him.

Dec decided to stay a while even if his dad was still asleep.He wanted to just look at him,touch him,smell him,memorise him.

He studied every line on Fonseys weather beaten face,taking in every tiny detail,wanting to remember every single little thing about his dad for when he was no longer here.

Dec smiled to himself as he observed Fonseys bushy eyebrows.Dec loved to sit on his lap and play with them when he was a little boy,for some reason they were an endless source of amusement for the young Dec.

He looked at what was left of Fonseys thinning hair,was that how his would have ended up if he hadn't have had the hair transplant?he couldn't imagine it somehow.

He scanned his eyes over Fonseys closed eyes,nose and mouth.Did Dec look like his dad?he wondered about that sometimes,he wasn't sure,probably not as people often commented when he was little that he looked like Anne,but no one ever saw any resemblance between him and Fonsey.

It didn't matter anyway,they were just physical attributes,what was on the inside was more important and Dec knew that Fonsey was and always had been a kind,caring,considerate and compassionate man,Dec could only dream of being half the man his father was,although he did his best to be a good person every day.

Dec was abruptly snapped out of his thoughts when he let his eyes wander down to Fonseys body.Anne had pulled the duvet up to his waist and Dec could see his ribs protruding through his pyjamas.

He was so thin and gaunt.It broke Decs heart all over again to see Fonsey like that.

Dec placed his hand over Fonseys hand,then took it into his,he couldn't stop staring at it.It seemed so small and frail with paper thin,transparent skin covering visible,protruding veins and obvious bones underneath,with not an ounce of fat to cushion those bones.

How could these be the hands that had worked so hard for over fifty years?the hands that had helped raise seven children and that had made Dec squeal in delight when they threw him up in the air when he was a kid?it just didn't seem possible.How could this shell of a man be what was left of his father,his idol,his superman?

Before he even realised it,tears were flowing down Decs cheeks and dripping onto his and Fonseys intertwined hands.

He gently wiped them away with a tissue he took from the box on the bedside table.As he did so,Fonsey began to stir and weakly fluttered his eyes open.

"Sorry Dad" Dec whispered "I didn't mean to wake you"

"Declan" Fonsey smiled weakly "I'm glad you're here"

"Me too" Dec replied while trying desperately to hold in anymore tears.It was time for him to be strong,or at least try to be,everyone was always there for him when he needed it,now he had to be there for his dad.

Fonsey felt Dec holding his hand and the loving father tightened his grip very slightly.

"I think I'm going into a hospice soon" Fonsey smiled sadly.

"Tomorrow" Dec announced "me and Mam are coming with you"

"Good" Fonsey replied gently,before closing his eyes and drifting off into a deep sleep once again.

Dec couldn't help himself,the tears flowed uncontrollably as he sat in the darkened bedroom.

He knew Fonsey being moved to the hospice was the beginning of the end and he just had to accept it and come to terms with it the best way he knew how.

It was time to let superman go!