《Baby of the family》part 84
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"Can't wait for this" Dec announced excitedly as he and Ant were driven towards the Hawth Theatre in Crawley a few weeks later,where Stephen Mulhern was performing in the Sleeping Beauty pantomime.
"Yeah,it's gonna be brilliant" Ant laughed.
"It's his own fault for vowing that we'd never be able to catch him out" Dec grinned "I have no sympathy"
"Exactly" Ant nodded "me neither"
Indeed,if anyone had the audacity to state that they would never,ever fall victim to one of Ant and Decs undercover pranks for Saturday Night Takeaway,then that was like a red rag to a bull for the boys and unfortunately for Stephen,he had been one of the celebrities who fell into that category.
By now,Ant,Dec and Stephen had become very firm friends,mainly thanks to Britain's Got More Talent and the silliness that went along with that show.
Stephen loved involving Ant and Dec in the games and craziness that occurred after the filming of the main programme.
Decs initial thoughts that he wasn't that keen on Stephen when they first met all those years ago on SM:TV when he thought Stephen was a bit weird,were long forgotten and Dec had been in the business long enough by now to understand that first impressions weren't always correct.
In fact both Ant and Dec had really grown to love Stephen.He was possibly the funniest person they'd ever met,with his sarcastic sense of humour that made the lads laugh out loud continuously and crazy magic tricks that amused and baffled them in equal measure.
Stephen was often invited to their houses for dinner parties and get togethers and Ant and Dec had even stayed over at his place in Brighton on a couple of occasions,the three men had gradually developed a great friendship.
Although Ant and Dec joked that they weren't so sure that would continue once Stephen got wind of what they were up to.
They were soon being introduced to all the cast and crew at the theatre who were all in on the joke,only poor Stephen was oblivious as to what was about to occur.
Ant and Dec planned to cause absolute chaos during Stephens performance,which is exactly what they did,starting with setting up a few members of the audience to arrive late.
This was Stephens pet peeve at the best of times,there was no excuse for lateness as far as he was concerned, unless it was an absolute emergency.He thought it was incredibly rude and people should be more organised and allow time for possible delays that might arise when planning their journeys.So of course,he couldn't resist having a sarcastic dig at those audience members as they made their way to their seats.
Ant and Dec continued to reek havoc by mixing up all of Stephens vinyl records that had to be in an exact order,plugging up the water gun that was supposed to be used to spray water over the audience so it didn't work,pouring water over the shorts he was supposed to get changed into,directing the drummer to play at the wrong moments,making sure other actors arrived late on stage and swapping a rigged bench that was supposed to tip up when he stood up for a normal one amongst other things.
Ant and Dec were exhausted from having to dash out and do the pranks,then rush back to watch Stephen on the monitors.It was worth it though.
"This is brilliant" Ant laughed as they watched Stephens confused reactions.
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"It is" Dec agreed with tears of laughter forming in his eyes "he's gonna kill us when he finds out what we've been up to"
"Well,he'll kill you" Ant joked "all this was your idea"
"Which you agreed to" Dec pointed out playfully "if I'm going down,I'm taking you with me"
As Stephen gradually got more pissed off and angry at the situation,moaning to the floor manager about the monumental cock ups and how the show must be jinxed,Ant and Dec thought that they might just wet themselves laughing.
Finally,after a hilarious couple of hours and the pantomime was nearing its finale,it was time to put Stephen out of his misery.
Ant and Dec donned their toy soldier suits,complete with huge fake heads and made their way onto the stage where Stephen was now chained up behind a blue curtain as part of the next scene.
Once the curtain was opened,Stephen stared bewildered at the two characters to his left.He couldn't fathom what was going on,they weren't supposed to be in this scene,could this show get any more weird?
Then the lads slowly removed their fake heads,revealing the hugest grins that were spread across their faces to an unsuspecting Stephen,who only just about managed to stop himself from swearing as the penny dropped and he realised that he had well and truly been had.
"Oh my God" he groaned,looking away from his friends in disbelief,then covering his eyes.
"Yeeeessssss" Ant shouted out in complete satisfaction at the success of the prank,while shaking his fist gleefully "yeeeesss"
"Stephen Mulhern" he continued,before quickly turning to the audience to give them a quick wave "hello everybody.Stephen,you said this show's jinxed,you've had the worse show"
"Oh my God" Stephen repeated,still in complete disbelief at what was unfolded in front of him,then proceeding to inform the boys how he had been complaining to the director and just about anyone else who would listen about what was going on.
Of course Ant and Dec already knew that as they had been watching his every move on the monitors.
"So it was you two?" Stephen asked accusingly.
"Yes Stephen" Ant replied joyfully "it was us two"
"I can't believe it" Stephen couldn't think of much else to say at the ridiculousness of the situation,especially as he was still chained helplessly to the prop that was meant for the next scene.
"You know you said to us you will never,ever get me for an undercover on Saturday Night Takeaway?" Dec grinned.
Ant and Dec pointed straight at Stephen in a gotcha type motion as he shook his head despairingly.
"Oh no" Stephen muttered,looking down at the floor,then glancing anywhere except at his friends.
"Yeah" Ant laughed.
The prank couldn't have gone any better and Ant and Dec high fived each other as Stephen was unchained from the prop.
"I'm never speaking to you two again" he joked as he took his final bow to the audience.
"Yeah,ya will" Ant laughed.
Ant and Dec then followed Stephen uninvited into his dressing room.
"I can't believe you got me" Stephen frowned as he sat down and took a swig from his bottle of water "how the hell did you manage it?"
"Everyone here was in on it" Dec grinned "and it worked like a dream"
"I swear I thought I was going mad" Stephen laughed "so you two poured all that water over my shorts?"
"Yep" Dec replied proudly,gazing down at the area where they had left the sodden item of clothing "someone's cleared the mess up though"
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"That was nice of them" Ant laughed.
"Seriously,I don't know what to say" Stephen muttered.
"Say that we well and truly got you" Dec grinned at his friend.
"Ok,you did" Stephen laughed "you got me good and proper,I admit it"
"Good" Ant grinned "won't be so smug in future will you?"
"Yeah,he will be" Dec winked.
"So where are you guys staying?" Stephen asked,tactfully trying to change the subject.
"We're not staying anywhere" Dec stated "Joe just drove us down for the day"
"Really?" Stephen frowned,feeling slightly disappointed "I thought you would have stayed over somewhere?could have gone out for dinner or something?you know,you could have treated me for being complete and utter arseholes"
"Alright Stephen" Ant laughed "it only takes an hour and a bit to drive here,we don't need to stay over"
"Not even to have the pleasure of my company?" Stephen grinned.
"I'm sure we'll cope" Dec winked "tell you what though,I think we probably could squeeze in a quick bite to eat before we set off.What do you think Ant?"
"Nah" Ant smiled playfully "I've had enough of looking at his ugly mug for one day"
"Oh,thanks very much" Stephen laughed "this face could launch a thousand ships I'll have you know"
"Sink them more like" Dec quipped.
"Yeah,like the Titanic" Ant grinned.
"Well,that's bloody charming" Stephen rolled his eyes playfully.
"Just kidding Mullers" Ant replied "we love ya really,come on,take us to the finest restaurant you can find"
The trio were soon dining in a nice steakhouse that Stephen had become very fond of during his stay in Crawley.
Ant and Dec had agreed to treat him as a light hearted apology for pranking him and Stephen soon got his own back by ordering the most expensive items from the menu, opting to have a full three course meal,which he wouldn't usually do.
"Are you actually going to eat all of that?" Dec enquired as he stared at Stephens king sized portion of steak,chips,onion rings,peas and mushrooms.
Stephen had also ordered some garlic bread on the side just so the bill could be even higher.
"Too right I am" Stephen grinned "you just watch me"
"Oh,we're watching" Ant laughed "no way will you finish it all,especially as you just had a big plate of loaded potato skins for starters"
"Yeah,I will" Stephen grinned as he took a slurp from his pint of beer "and I'm having dessert as well"
"Set yourself a bit of a challenge here haven't you Stephen?" Dec asked "you're gonna make yourself feel totally ill just to get back at us?"
"Yep" Stephen nodded "and as long as it costs you two a fortune,I don't care"
"You knock yourself out" Ant replied,totally amused at Stephens idea of revenge.
"Might order a bottle of wine after this" Stephen announced as he took another sip from his beer.
"This one sounds nice" he pointed to the most ridiculously expensive bottle of wine on the menu.
"Stephen you don't even like red wine" Dec giggled.
"Today I do" Stephen snapped back with a smirk on his face.
Ant and Dec were quite enjoying watching their friend struggle to eat his huge meal and they found the look on Stephens face even more hilarious when he took a taste of the red wine that the waiter had brought to the table,he obviously found it completely disgusting.
"That's lovely" Stephen grimaced.
"Don't lie Stevo" Dec laughed "you obviously can't stand it"
"Yes I can" Stephen protested "it's nice,here have a glass"
"Oh no thank you" Ant replied happily "I'll stick to my beer"
"Yeah,me too" Dec grinned "a nice cold beer goes perfectly with a good steak,you enjoy your wine"
"I couldn't possibly drink the whole bottle" Stephen frowned "come on,it's only fair that I share"
"Nah,you're alright" Ant replied "we want you to enjoy it,it is especially for you after all"
"Ok" Stephen groaned.
It looked like his plan to get his own back on Ant and Dec was completely backfiring.He was still only halfway through his meal and he was determined to have dessert as well just to make a point and to top it all,he knew this expensive meal wasn't even going to make a slight dent in Ant and Decs finances,he didn't know why he had thought it would be a good idea.
He shuddered at the revolting taste as he took another swig of the costly wine and glanced helplessly at the almost full bottle.
"Ok,Stephen?" Dec grinned.
"Yeah fine" Stephen mumbled.
"That was delicious" Ant smiled cheekily as he finished off his dinner "so glad I didn't order anything bigger,I'm stuffed"
"Yeah,it was" Dec nodded,as he also finished his meal just a few seconds later.
"I need the loo" Ant announced.
"Me too" Dec smiled and both men got up to go to the toilets.
"You have to go to the loo together?"Stephen laughed "I thought only girls did that"
"Don't you worry about us" Ant smiled "you just concentrate on finishing your dinner"
Stephen shook his head despairingly as Ant and Dec walked off and he stared down at his plate.
"Excuse me" he called the waiter over and ordered a pint of lemonade "quick as you can please"
Luckily the waiter brought the beverage over before Ant and Dec got back and Stephen quickly added some of the fizzy drink to his glass of red wine and to the bottle.
"Alright Stephen?" Ant grinned upon his return "still not finished?"
"Nearly" Stephen replied as he knocked back the almost full glass of wine.
"Woe,steady there Mullers" Dec laughed "don't want to be carrying you out of here"
"I'm fine" Stephen stated,with a grin on his face.
"He's up to something" Ant replied suspiciously "I know that look"
"What?" Stephen grinned innocently,while pouring himself another glass of the red wine spritzer.
"What did you get up to while we were in the toilets?" Dec probed.
"Nothing" Stephen laughed "honestly, you two have got such suspicious minds"
"With good reason" Ant replied "how come you like the wine so much all of a sudden?"
"I told you I liked it" Stephen shrugged.
"Let's have a taste" Dec requested.
"No" Stephen snapped and quickly moved his glass away,but he wasn't quick enough to move the bottle as well and Ant picked it up and proceeded to pour some of the contents into his empty beer glass.
"What the hell?" Ant laughed raucously after he tasted it "that's not red wine,taste this Declan"
"It is" Stephen protested.
"Yeah,it's red wine" Dec replied amused "but with lemonade in it,Stephen you're such an idiot"
"What?" Stephen grinned while letting out such a loud burp,that people at the nearby tables glanced over at him in disgust "oops,pardon me.I like a spritzer"
"Alright Stephen" Ant laughed "you've proved your point,don't make yourself ill,stop eating and drinking if you've had enough"
"Who said I've had enough?" Stephen asked stubbornly.
"It's pretty obvious" Dec replied "we still have to pay for it even if you don't finish it all,so you got your revenge"
"Did I?" Stephen grinned "did I get you back good and proper"
"Yes Stephen" Ant joked "if you feeling desperately stuffed and uncomfortable from eating so much and drinking things you don't even like is getting us back good and proper,then yes you did"
"Good" Stephen mumbled "feel a bit sick though"
"I'm not surprised" Dec laughed "come on,let's get you back to the hotel"
"But I need to have dessert" Stephen protested "I said I would"
"No you don't" Ant laughed "that's the last thing you need,come on let's go"
"I want dessert" Stephen stated childishly.
"Tell you what" Ant laughed "I'll give you a pound to get an ice cream"
Ant and Dec dropped Stephen off at his hotel by taxi,taking the mickey out of him all the way,but they'd had fun and enjoyed seeing him.
They had arranged for Joe to pick them up at the hotel and after saying goodbye to Stephen,they were soon on their way back to London.
"What a brilliant day eh?" Ant laughed.
"It was amazing" Dec agreed "the prank was perfect and that eejits idea of getting us back was even funnier"
"Yeah,he's probably puking all that food up as we speak" Ant nodded "he's never had a huge appetite anyway"
"Yeah" Dec replied "no doubt we'll be getting messages from him tomorrow, moaning about his poor tummy"
"Oh,I hope so" Ant laughed "there's still lot of piss taking to be done"
"Poor guy" Dec laughed "I almost feel sorry for him"
"I don't" Ant smiled.
"Yeah,I don't either really" Dec laughed.
"Was such a great day wasn't it?" Ant asked his friend.
"Yeah,it was" Dec nodded "and it took my mind off other things for a while"
"Ah,yes" Ant smiled "the hair transplant"
"Yeah" Dec sighed "it's getting closer.The series is nearly finished then I'm going to get it done, it's all booked and paid for"
"You nervous?" Ant enquired.
"Very" Dec sighed "I'm just not sure what to expect,I only know one thing"
"What's that?" Ant asked,noticing how the atmosphere was quickly changing and the joy from the day was fading fast.
Dec rested his head on his trusted best friends shoulder and muttered in a small voice.
"I'm bloody terrified!"
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