"I'm sorry Clare" Dec sobbed "please forgive me"

Dec knew Ant had been right and there was no point in trying to hide what he'd done from his girlfriend.He couldn't risk her finding out from someone else,especially not the British gutter press,they would have a field day with this one.If Clare found out that way,that would probably be more awful than the cheating itself.

Clare sat on Decs sofa,listening intently until he had finished telling his sorry tale.

"You cheated on me?" Clare whispered in the most hurt voice Dec had ever heard.That was worse than if she had shouted,ranted and raved at him.

Whatever her reaction,Dec knew he just had to sit back and take it.He had no right to question how she was feeling,he did this to her after all.

"Yes" Dec sighed sadly "and I'm so sorry,I wish to God I hadn't,I wish I could turn back time"

"Well,you can't" Clare snapped,with tears now streaming down her face "how could you do this to me?why would you do this to me?I don't understand,I thought things were going great?we were even planning on getting married,having a baby"

"No,you were planning that Clare" Dec pointed out "I've made it clear to you that I'm not ready for all that yet"

"So all this is my fault now?" Clare retorted "I forced you to cheat?"

"No,of course not" Dec replied "i just meant that you want something i don't,not yet anyway,but I'm not making excuses,I know I fucked up and I'm so sorry,I'll do anything to make it up to you,just tell me what?"

"How can I ever trust you again?" Clare asked.

"I don't know" Dec replied while attempting to hug her.

"Don't touch me" Clare shouted "you don't get to be nice"

"I...I'm sorry" Dec stuttered "I don't know what else to say,I just don't want to lose you,please don't leave me"

"Should have thought about that before you fucked a stripper shouldn't you?and in the bed that we've shared,slept in,made love in,it makes me feel sick to my stomach" Clare raged.

"I know" Dec replied sheepishly "I can only apologise and promise I'll never hurt you again"

"I don't trust you anymore" Clare stated "how can I?I don't see how we can move on from this?without trust, there is no relationship"

"Please don't say that" Dec begged "we can at least try can't we?I love you and I'll do anything to earn your forgiveness,just give me a chance please,just one more chance,I promise I won't let you down"

"I don't know if I can" Clare sighed "you've broken my heart into a thousand pieces,all for a casual shag,how do I move on from that?was she at least worth it?"

"Please don't ask that" Dec cringed.

"Well?was she?" Clare snapped.

"No,of course not" Dec stated "it meant absolutely nothing,it was just a bit of fu..."

Dec tailed off,immediately regretting what was coming out of his mouth.

"FUN" Clare exclaimed "that's what you were about to say weren't you?you were willing to throw everything we had away for a bit of FUN?everything we've got together?everything we've built over the last few years?well,I'm glad you had fun,never mind how it affects me"

"I didn't mean it like that" Dec mumbled "I just meant it didn't mean anything,I'd been drinking and..."

Clare cut in once again.

"Oh,you'd be drinking?that's alright then,that excuses it doesn't it?funnily enough,you don't notice me jumping into bed with random guys every time I have a drink"

"I'm not excusing it" Dec pleaded "I'm just trying to explain"

"Not really much else to explain is there?" Clare snapped "you cheated on me...with a stripper,what else is there to say?"

"Nothing much I guess" Dec replied sadly "just to say again that I am so sorry and I will never hurt you again"

"No,because I'm not going to give you the chance" Clare retorted.

"Please Clare" Dec sighed,trying desperately to stem the flow of tears that were already cascading down his cheeks,he knew he wouldn't be getting any sympathy from Clare right now,neither did he deserve it,but he had to at least try to appeal to her better nature.

"Please don't make any rash decisions right now" he begged "at least wait until you've calmed down a bit,you're upset..."

"I have every right to be upset" clare retorted angrily.

"Yeah,you do" Dec replied "I get it,I really do,I'd be devastated if the shoe was on the other foot,but all I'm asking is that you at least think this through before you decide to end it,do you really want to throw everything away that we have?"

"IM THROWING EVERYTHING AWAY?" Clare shouted angrily "HOW FUCKING DARE YOU"

Dec cringed at her reaction,that was definitely the wrong thing to say,he just seemed to be getting himself in deeper and deeper every time he opened his mouth.All he could do now was hope that Clare would give him another chance.

"I'm sorry" Dec sighed "all I meant was,will you please not finish it?I love you and I need you,I can't live without you Clare,please?you're my soul mate,the love of my life"

"Soul mates don't cheat on each other" she announced bluntly.

"Even soul mates can make mistakes though" Dec tried to reason with her,he couldn't possibly let her go without a fight.

"Will you at least give it time before you decide whether you want to dump me or not?that's all I ask?you're angry and upset at the moment and I know you have good reason to be,but maybe talk to your sister first,get an outsiders perspective?"

"Well,obviously she's going to support me and be on my side" Clare replied "she's my twin sister,you don't get much closer than that"

"Lisa maybe then?" Dec suggested "she's friends with both of us,so she'll have a balanced view,she's probably already waiting by the phone to hear from you?"

"What?" Clare asked "so you've told her and Ant about this before you told me?"

"Umm..." Dec hesitated,why did everything he say seem to be getting him into trouble even deeper?he just wished he could say the right thing for once and find a solution to all this.

"I...er...I just wanted Ants advice" Dec frowned "he always knows what to say and do"

"Shame you didn't ask him if it was a good idea to sleep with a stripper then" Clare stated.

"Alright Clare" Dec sighed "I get it,you don't have to keep saying things like that"

"Don't I?" Clare retorted.

Dec just shook his head sadly,not wanting to keep harping back to that night,he wanted to move on and know what he could do to save his relationship.

Clare wasn't at all surprised that Dec went to Ant first,she usually loved how close Dec was to his best friend.It was so lovely to see two young men being such support for each other,but in this instant,it stung and she hated the idea of anyone discussing this,it was her and Decs relationship and she was hurt that she wasn't even the first to know about the issues arising in it.

Even so,she knew how close Ant and Dec were and accepted that there was no point in arguing about that on top of everything else.

"So what did Ant think about all this?" Clare enquired.

"He thinks I'm an idiot" Dec sighed "and he's angry at me for hurting you"

"Well,he's got that right" Clare replied "you are an idiot,what else?"

"That I should come clean and tell you what happened" Dec continued.

"What?" Clare asked surprised "so you weren't even going to tell me?"

That had never even crossed her mind,that her long term boyfriend was actually thinking about keeping the events of that night a secret from her.

"It was just a fleeting thought" Dec assured her "and I know it was stupid,but the coward in me was too scared to confess to what I did"

"So Ant made you change your mind?" Clare enquired.

"Yeah he did" Dec nodded "said what if Ti...the girl sold her story to the papers,it would be worse for you to find out that way"

"Oh God Declan" Clare exclaimed "that never even crossed my mind,what if she does?our private lives will be splashed all over the front pages of the tabloids,I couldn't bear that,you know what a private person I am,I don't want the whole world knowing that my boyfriend cheated on me,how humiliating will that be?" she buried her head in her hands and let out uncontrollable,devastating sobs.

Dec sidled up to her on the sofa and attempted to place a comforting arm around her shoulder.

"I said don't touch me" Clare snapped as she shook Decs arm away.

Dec immediately did as he was told.

"Will you please just talk to Lisa before you decide anything?" Dec asked once again.

Clare nodded in agreement.She was completely exhausted and didn't have the energy to argue about this anymore.Dec was at least right about one thing,that she should get an outsiders opinion and she did actually desperately want to talk to Lisa now,Lisa was one person who would definitely understand and Clare valued her opinion.

"Thank you" Dec replied gratefully "I'll call Ant now,do you want to go over there or should Lisa come here?"

"Don't care" Clare shrugged nonchalantly.

After speaking to Ant on the phone,they all decided between them that Ant would come over to Decs place and Clare would go to Lisa.Clare had now decided that she didn't actually want to be at the 'scene of the crime' for much longer anyway and was now pretty desperate to get out of there.

There were many hugs and tears between the two sets of friends as the distraught couple poured their hearts out to their willing listeners.

As Dec finally managed to gain his composure,thanks to Ants ever calming presence,he began to feel hopeful again.He would regret what he did to the bitter end,but Ant had managed to make him see that this didn't have to be the end of the world,what he and Clare had was worth fighting for,he already knew that anyway,but could only hope that Lisa was managing to convince Clare of that.

The boys even started to have a laugh as they shared a few beers,Ant had an amazing knack of taking Decs mind off of things that were bothering him,even if it was only for a couple of hours.

That was until the phone rang which made them both jump out of their skins.

"Hey Paul" Dec smiled,putting on his most fake,cheery voice when he spoke to his and Ants manager,as if he didn't have a care in the world "how are you doing?"

"Declan" Paul replied,completely ignoring any pleasantries "what the hell have you been up to?"

"What?" Dec asked innocently "what do you mean?"

"I think you are perfectly aware of what I mean Declan" Paul stated "who is this Tina Benson?"

"What?" Dec cringed at the mention of her name,how the hell did he know about her? "I...um...I...I don't know what you're talking about?"

"Don't play innocent with me" Paul advised "I'm not stupid you know.It's pretty clear what you've been up to,I'm just giving you a chance to tell me yourself"

Dec sighed to himself as he felt his stomach begin to tie into knots.He'd already gone through all of this with Ant and Clare,now he had to give the sordid details of his sex life to his manager?he'd had enough of this whole situation.

"I made a mistake Paul and I'm trying to sort it out" Dec stated "that's all you need to know"

"Oh I know much more than that" Paul informed him.

"How?" Dec asked sheepishly.

"How do you think Dec?" Paul enquired with more than just a hint of anger in his voice.

"Dunno" Dec shrugged,not sure himself why he was playing dumb.

"Well,let me spell it out for you then" Paul replied "this Tina Benson that you had such a great time with,she's gone to the press"

"What?" Dec mumbled nervously as Ant listened on.

"Tomorrow" Paul continued.

"Your face will be plastered all over the front pages of the newspapers!"