"There she is" Dec whispered to himself as he spied Clare waiting for him at the end of the street.

"Hi" he greeted her with a kiss to both cheeks "these are for you"

He handed her the pretty bouquet of flowers he'd picked out at the florist.

"Wow,thank you Declan" Clare smiled "they're beautiful"

"You look nice" Dec said shyly.

"Thanks,you don't look so bad yourself" she replied.

"Wish I'd warn a warmer coat though" Dec grumbled "I hope you like Italian food?I've booked us into a lovely little place that was recommended to me"

"You're from Newcastle" Clare laughed "you're not supposed to be bothered by the cold"

"Guess I've been down south too long" Dec shrugged "so do you like Italian food?cos if you don't,we've got a problem"

"I love it" Clare assured him.

Dec held out his hand for Clare to take and the pair took a gentle stroll through the evening crowds towards the popular tourist spot.

"Covent Garden is amazing isn't it?" Clare said enthusiastically "it's always so vibrant and alive"

"Yeah it is" Dec agreed,although he was much more interested in the girl at his side than the area they would be dining in.

"Here we are" Dec announced as they arrived at the restaurant "looks nice doesn't it?"

"It looks lovely" Clare agreed.

They were shown to their table in the discreet corner that Dec had requested,they both hoped they would go unnoticed tonight,of course if any fans did happen to catch a glimpse of them,they would obviously be their usual friendly and polite selves,but they hoped that wouldn't happen.

They placed their orders with the waiter and sipped on a glass of wine each while they waited for their food to be prepared.

"What?" Clare asked as she noticed Dec wasn't taking his eyes off of her.

"Nothing" Dec grinned "was just thinking how much your eyes sparkle"

"Cheesy line Declan" Clare laughed.

"Sorry,can't help myself" Dec smiled "cheesy is what I do best.I'm so glad we finally found time for this though,it's crazy how long we waited"

"Yeah it is" Clare agreed "it's pretty difficult to get two lives as busy as ours to match up"

"Yeah" Dec frowned "but at least we're here now,we'll just have to make it an extra special evening to make up for the time we lost"

"Definitely" Clare smiled "but I guess we shouldn't knock the fact we've been so busy,means we're both working at least,that's not always guaranteed in our business"

"Yeah that's true" Dec nodded as the waiter placed their starters down on the table in front of them.

"Smells so good" Dec smiled as his stomach let out an unusually loud growl "I'm starving"

"You really are hungry by the sound of it" Clare laughed "that's possibly the loudest,most aggressive stomach rumble I've ever heard"

"Yeah sorry" Dec grinned "my stomach has no manners,I'll have a word with it"

"You're so silly" Clare giggled flirtatiously,just as Decs stomach growled again "I think it's definitely ready to rhum...."

"Don't even say it" Dec cut in playfully as he tucked into his food.

Even after he had finished his starter, his stomach still seemed to be doing somersaults,he was convinced the unusually loud gurgling sounds coming from his gut could be heard by all of the other diners.

"Sorry about this" he apologised to Clare "I don't know why my belly is so talkative tonight,guess it wants to get in on our date"

"Don't worry about it" Clare smiled "it could be worse"

"That's true" Dec smiled,but as he uttered those two seemingly harmless words,fate stepped in and dealt him a cruel blow.

"Ohhh" Dec winced as he doubled up against the table.

"What's wrong?" Clare asked concerned.

"Umm...nothing,just need to go to the gents" Dec announced.

"Why now?please not now" he mumbled to himself as he dashed into the toilet cubicle.

Of all the times for a stomach bug to rear it's ugly head,why would it choose now?Dec thought to himself as he sat on the toilet,he didn't actually feel ill,so what and why was something passing straight through him.He gave up a quick prayer for the fact no one else was in the toilets as he finished up and sprayed the can of air freshener that sat on the window sill around.

All he could now think of was how he needed to get back to Clare,but even before he'd finished washing his hands,the overwhelming desire to run back into the cubicle got the better of him once again.

"Oh God,why?" He moaned out loud "why would you do this to me?"

After a few minutes when he was sure he had nothing left to pass out of his system,he made his way back to the table.

"Are you ok Dec?" Clare asked concerned.

"Umm...yeah sorry,I'm fine" he couldn't offer up any explanation about what he'd been up to,that would surely gross her out,so he quickly changed the subject.

"The food is nice" he announced as he tucked into his now cold starter.

"Yeah it was lovely" Clare smiled as she looked down at her empty plate,she'd finished her portion off while Dec had been otherwise engaged.

"Looking forward to the main course" Dec smiled as another stomach cramp hit him like a bolt from the blue.

"Sorry" he mumbled as he stood up so abruptly,he almost knocked his chair over in his desperation to get back to the toilet,having to clench on the way as he genuinely thought he was in danger of having an accident right there and then.

"Declan" Clare called out after him,now finding the unfolding events more alarming than amusing.

"Is Sir ok?" The concerned waiter asked as he noticed Dec had disappeared from the table yet again.

"Er yeah,he's fine thank you" Clare replied,what else could she possibly say?

"Declan,what on earth is going on with you?" Clare enquired once Dec returned to the table.

"Got a bit of a bad tummy" Dec frowned.

"I guessed that much" Clare replied "have you been throwing up?"

"Um no" Dec replied embarrassed.

"Then what?...oh" Clare soon cottoned on to exactly what the problem must have been every time Dec disappeared.

"I'm sorry Clare" Dec whispered sheepishly "I don't know where this has come from?"

"Have you eaten anything dodgy today?" Clare asked.

"Don't think so" Dec pondered "just had a burger and chips for lunch.Ant had exactly the same as me and he's fine"

"So were you until a few minutes ago" Clare mused "have you eaten anything else today?"

"Just a load of sweets" Dec grimaced "but that's not unusual for me,I eat sweets all the time,it was only these"

Dec took the half eaten bag of wine gums out of his pocket and placed them down on the table before excusing himself yet again for another emergency toilet dash.

When he eventually emerged looking rather pale,Clare spoke to him very sternly.

"Declan Donnelly,you are a complete moron"

"What?" Dec asked surprised by Clares tone of voice "what did I do?"

"How many of these sweets have you eaten?" She enquired brusquely.

"Er...well half of that bag and a whole other bag I ate this afternoon" Dec replied "but what have they got to do with anything?"

"What does that say?" Clare pointed to two small words on the bag.

"Sugar free" Dec read,still confused as to where this conversation was going.

"And what does that say?" Clare turned the bag over and pointed to some smaller writing.

"Excessive consumption may produce laxative effects...oh" Dec now understood what Clare was getting at.

"So you've eaten one and a half family sized bags of sugar free sweets?" Clare shook her head in despair.

"I guess I have" Dec replied feeling slightly ashamed "I didn't notice they were sugar free though and even if I had,I didn't know about the effect they can have,I'm sorry"

"I think we'd better get you home" Clare sighed "you can't carry on like this all evening"

"No" Dec whined disappointed "I can't have much left inside me now,please stay"

With those words,Dec unfortunately had to make yet another unscheduled visit to the toilet.Clare took advantage of the few minutes without him and went and explained the situation to the waiter,apologising profusely to him for their early departure and just telling him that Dec was ill,there was no need for him to know all the gory details.She also paid the bill which she knew Dec would be extremely unhappy about,but he'd just have to deal with it.

"We're going" she announced as Dec returned from his umpteenth visit to the loo.

By now Dec had accepted his fate and knew that this date was all but over.

"I'm so sorry about all this" Dec whispered as he put his jacket on.

"Don't worry" Clare smiled,she wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry at this outcome "we can make up for it another time"

"Yeah" Dec sighed.He was truly embarrassed about the situation and felt so bad for Clare,but also felt very sorry for himself.

"We'd best get you back then" she smiled gently.

Dec went to pick up the packet of sweets still sitting on the table.

"I'll take those" Clare said as she quickly grabbed the bag.

Dec frowned as she proceeded to throw them in the bin by the exit as they left the restaurant.

He was actually quite worried about getting back to the Bed and Breakfast without the risk of an accident,how embarrassing would that be?as if this night hadn't already turned out worse than he could ever possibly have imagined.He could just see the headlines in tomorrows gutter press newspapers if that were to happen:-

'Ant and Dec,oh heck'

'Declan misses the can'

'Deckydoo,where's the loo?'

That would be his career over and done with if that happened,he'd probably curl up in a ball and die of shame anyway,so wouldn't need his career.

It was only a short walk home,but every step was increasingly uncomfortable.

"Clare,need the loo" he stated desperately after they'd made it about half way towards their destination.

Clare looked around desperately at their surroundings.

"There" she pointed to a Macdonalds on the street corner and Dec left her alone once again.

"I think we're going to have to make a dash for it" Clare smiled as Dec emerged from the site of his latest horrendous stomach attack "pardon the pun"

"Not funny" Dec whispered while feeling very sorry for himself.

"Come on" Clare smiled "let's get you home.I think we should run,then it'll only take a few minutes and you hopefully won't get caught short again"

"Yeah good idea" and Dec immediately shot straight ahead with barely a glance back at Clare.

"Blimey you're fast" Clare declared as she finally caught up with Dec at the entrance to the Bed and Breakfast.

Dec didn't answer,he was already practically at the top of the stairs by the time she'd even caught her breath.

"What the fuck...?" Ant practically jumped out of his skin as Dec burst into the room noisily and made a beeline for the bathroom,without even saying a word.

"Clare...?" He was surprised to see Decs date standing breathless at the door.

"Sorry Ant" she mumbled,not really knowing what else to say.

"What's going on?you've barely been gone an hour" Ant enquired worriedly "why are you back so early?what's wrong with Dec?"

He didn't wait for an answer before getting up off of his bed and knocking on the bathroom door.

"Dec?are you ok?" The concerned friend asked.

"Leave me alone" came a pained voice from inside the bathroom.

"But Clare's here" Ant replied "she's waiting for you"

"Tell her to go" Dec snapped.

Clare looked extremely hurt as she heard Decs abrupt words.

Ant looked at her pitifully "I'm sorry Clare,I don't know what has happened between you two,but it's probably best if you go,he'll give you a call tomorrow I'm sure"

"Ok" Clare whispered,trying to hold back the tears in her eyes,she wasn't sure Dec would call her after this,he'd probably feel too humiliated.

Ant felt really sorry for her as he watched her walk away,but was still more concerned about Dec.

"She's gone Dec" Ant announced gently "you coming out?"

Dec slowly and sheepishly opened the bathroom door to a very curious Ant.

"Hey buddy" Ant smiled,trying his best to ignore the intrusive smell that was now lingering in the air "wanna tell me what's going on?"

Dec flopped down onto his bed and recalled the whole sorry tale.

When he'd finished,he looked over to Ant,expecting some kind of sympathy from his best friend.

Instead he was greeted with the loudest roars of laughter imaginable as Ant reacted unexpectedly to what he had just heard.

"Oh my God Dec" he laughed uncontrollably "you basically ruined your date by having the shits over and over again?that's the funniest thing I've ever heard"

"It's not funny" Dec snapped.

"It's hilarious actually" Ant grinned "it's your own fault for stuffing your face with those sweets"

"I told you I didn't know about them" Dec replied while getting increasingly sulky "wasn't my fault"

"Who's was it then?" Ant asked with a wink.

"Stupid shops fault of course" Dec moaned "should have had clearer labels"

"Never mind Decs" Ant smiled as he managed to get his giggles under control "lesson learned eh?"

He was now beginning to feel rather sorry for Dec,he'd wanted to impress Clare so badly.

"The next date will be better" he assured him "can't go much worse"

"Can't it?" Dec frowned as he made his way to the toilet once again.

Once he returned,he threw himself down on the bed and buried his face into his pillow so Ant wouldn't see the tears pooling in his eyes.

"I doubt she'll ever want to see me again!"