《Panta》Chapter Eighteen- Now I'm the bad guy.
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I watched as Saihara left through the door his words sticking through me....
Everything.....everything's my fault.....isn't it? I laughed a little as the uncontrollable tears streamed down to myself, it felt as if my sanity was dying it's my fault everyone in DICE is dead....it's my fault Harukawa's dead and all those orphans......if I just died like my parents wanted none of this would have happened.....
"I'M DONE OUMA! Ok? I tried to help you, I tried to be your friend and all I got in return was backlash from you! I wish I hadn't bothered at all!"
I am such a useless person huh? All I do is bring trouble to everyone who can tolerate me for even a second....maybe that's why they all left me.....not because of Shirogane but so they could escape me...honestly...what even was worth being on this miserable planet?....All your going to get is disappointment.....all your going to get is pain...he**.....life is an endless cycle of pain and misery......and I was stupid enough to spread my punishment to other people.
"NO OUMA! NO EXCUSES! You killed people out of jealousy you cruel monster! Your blaming an innocent person to cover up what you did on top of that! I'm sorry for what happened to your friends but I am NOT going to stand around and allow you to take out your anger on other people ok?"
Funny...I was holding it back for so long...and I didn't even need to bother because either way it ended up making Saihara hate me......I deserve this....I really deserve this don't I?
"I wanted to love you Ouma.....but now I can't because you finally made me aware of the cruel person you are...you are going to be alone Ouma..because no one will ever want to be your friend.....goodbye" I felt myself crying as I looked down at the ground.
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Is this karma? Is this how the world decided to punish me for being born? Making life he** and taking away everything I loved and cared about....? THANKS WORLD I LOVE YOU TO! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR TAKING AWAY EVERYTHING THAT WAS PRECIOUS TO ME!
I looked over at Harukawa's body again and walked over, "I'm sorry you had to die because of me...." I whispered, "I get why you hated me....honestly....I deserved it...so if you want to punish me....go ahead.....I deserve it..."
I could hear people talking on the other side of the door, they are probably just wondering how much of an a** I am.....
"Oh Kokichi why did we have to die?" I looked around for the source of the voice and I realized no one was there but....it sounded like Chiasa......."what did we do to deserve this?" My eyes widened, Kazue...?
"I wish I never met you to be honest" Riko......"Yeah! It's all your fault you know that we died!" Mirai........"it was my birthday you know...why did you have to ruin it for me?" Takara......
"You left me all alone you know, let me watch as everyone died because of what YOU did" Nao......."you are such a worthless person, why did I even bother becoming friends with you?"....Tsuki......."I can't believe you even tried to forget about us....as if we'd ever forgive you" Takashiro....."Honestly the world would have been better off without you" Eiji...."SOME LEADER YOU ARE! YOU LET US PAY FOR YOUR MISTAKES!" Genkei
"Why don't you just do us all a favor...and finally do it? We've all been waiting you know"
.....
....
...
Honestly.......maybe they are right....it's not like anybody even cared about ne... Saihara even hates me now....and the rest only hanged out with me out of pity....they probably all hate me deep down.......
......
....
...
I got up from Harukawa's body and and set it up,
Hey....Atua....if you exist.....if anyone up there exists....my life sucks......so please......can't I have a happy dream? Just once.....
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