"So, what now?" I asked, staring into Larissa's eyes.

She looked uncomfortable at my question, and her eyes started to look around her bedroom. I sighed silently, and reached for one of her hands. She brought her eyes back to mine and gave a small smile.

"Talk to me," I begged.

"Honestly, I don't know what happens now," she replied sadly.

"Well, what do you want to happen?"

"I- I don't... Ivy, this is really difficult for me," she said. "I have no idea what is happening right now, and it's terrifying."

"I know," I sighed, and squeezed her hand in mine gently. "It's something you need to figure out on your own, so I'm gonna back off for a while."

"What do you mean?" She asked, frowning.

"I know how confusing it is, coming to terms with who you are. And I know that it's probably more confusing with me here, trying it on with you all the time."

She smiled shyly.

"But... what if that's what I want?"

I swear my heart stopped for several seconds, and a video of our wedding and our beautiful babies ran through my head.

"Then you know where to find me," I said, pulling myself back to reality. "I just don't want to confuse you any more than you already are."

"Why am I so confused though? I mean, I get that you must have been confused when you first figured out you liked girls... but, I'm a lot older than you were. I'm supposed to have my shit together by now," she said. "In fact, I did have my shit together. And then you appeared, being all beautiful and flirting with me."

"I'm sorry," I lied. "You can't really blame me though, you're perfect."

She blushed at my compliment, and started to look away from me.

"You'll work it out," I promised. "You just need time."

"Does this mean we're not gonna be hanging out as friends anymore?"

"I don't want to be friends, Larissa. I want to be able to kiss you, and hold your hand whenever I want to," I said, and she looked sad. "I know that maybe that isn't what you want, and you need to work out what you want. You can't do that while I'm around. So I'll stay out of your way for a while, and whenever you're ready to talk about it, I'll be waiting."

I sat up on the bed, joined by Larissa, who didn't seem to care that she was still naked, leaving me distracted.

"Ivy..." she whispered, taking my face in her hands.

I closed my eyes, as she brought her lips to mine. The kiss only lasted a few seconds, but it was perfect. Her soft lips moved slowly against mine, and I thought my heart might explode.

"Just don't take too long deciding, okay?" I joked. She smiled and nodded. "Good night, Larissa."

I walked out of her room, and down the stairs. I locked the door behind me, and posted Larissa's keys back through the letterbox so she didn't need to get out of bed.

I got into my car, and drove home fast. I just wanted to crawl into bed and cry myself to sleep. Although it was my idea to stay away from Larissa for a while, the thought of it was horrible. I hadn't known her long, but from the moment I met her, she's all I thought about. Maybe Rob was right, maybe I was in love. I laughed at the thought. I had never been in love, and I didn't even know Larissa that well.

"What's up with you?" Rob asked, as I walked into the apartment.

I shook my head in response, and went to take a bottle of wine from the fridge. I suddenly realised that I had drove home drunk. I was sure that seeing Larissa naked had sobered me up, as I didn't even feel drunk now, but I still couldn't believe how stupid I had been.

"You wanna talk about it?" Rob asked, holding out his glass for a drink of wine.

"I'm an idiot."

"I know, but why now?" He asked.

I filled up our glasses, then started to tell him what had happened at Larissa's.

~~~~

"Seriously?" Rob asked, frowning.

"What?"

"You finally fucked her, then told her you won't be seeing her for a while, and she was fine with it?" He asked, baffled.

"Well, yeah, but-"

"And she kissed you after that?" Rob interrupted.

"Rob, it's not like I want to stay away from her. That's the last thing I want," I sighed.

"Oh yeah, I forgot you were in love with this one," he grinned.

I rolled my eyes at his comment, and he laughed.

"So why stay away from her then?" He asked. "I mean, I get that she's confused, but isn't Brandon supposed to be moving here in a couple of days. You're just letting him have her, which clearly isn't what she wants."

I realised Rob was right, Brandon would be moving here soon. I knew that what I was doing was the right thing, no matter how much I hated the idea of her staying with Brandon. It was Larissa's decision to make, and I didn't want to push her to do something she might regret.

"Maybe it is what she wants," I said quietly.

"If that's true, then she's just fucking with your head, and you're better off staying away from her."

"I'm pretty sure I'm the one who's been fucking with her head," I laughed.

"So you're not even gonna text her?" He asked.

"Nope, it's all on her, now."

"I give it two days, and you'll be stalking her social media, and sending her drunk texts," he said, and we both laughed. "Anyway, I'm going to Alice's, so I'll see you tomorrow."

"Have fun," I smiled.

Rob grabbed his coat from by the door, and left me alone in the apartment. I locked the door, then got into my bed, as I had originally planned when I left Larissa's house.

I tried to sleep as it was almost midnight, and I needed to be awake at five. However, my mind was running away with thoughts of Larissa. Thoughts of jaeger bombs, wallpaper paste, and house parties. Thoughts of the way the hair stood up on the back of my neck the first time she touched me, at the climbing wall. I thought about all the random, pointless conversations we had shared. And all the deep ones, too.

My thoughts were consumed by her. By everything about her. Her laugh, her smile, her sparkling green eyes that stared straight through me. Everything down to her voice, and the way she spoke. She was flawless.

"Oh Ivy, what have you done?" I said out loud to myself.

I shouldn't have told her I'd give her some space. I should have kept showing her that I liked her, until she realised she felt the same. I knew she felt something towards me, I could see it in her eyes, and feel it when she kissed me. She just needed some help working out what it means, and I should have been the one to help her.

Now, I had set myself up for failure. Brandon would worm his way back into her heart, just when she was starting to realise what a loser he is.

I couldn't go back on my word now, I told her I would give her some space, so that's what I would do. I just hoped that she would realise on her own that we would be amazing together.

I had known the girl for little over a week, and I couldn't get her out of my head.

Rob was right, I was definitely in love with Larissa.