Elliot P.O.V

Staring is all I could do just stare at the wall. A week had passed since the assault. I've never skipped school my whole life but I am now. My aunt came by yesterday but I didn't have it in me to talk to her. Levi has dropped by and called but I've been ignoring him. I know it's not his fault. I can't expect him to actually stay with me during a party like that but he promised me he wouldn't leave and I only went because he wanted me to and said we should talk to Grayson. Now I feel like I'm on Grayson's top craplist. I haven't eaten in days I'm just so mentally and physically drained. I need to shower too. It takes everything in me to get off the bed and to the bathroom. I stare at myself in the mirror; huge bags are under my eyes, I'm way paler then usual, basically I look a devastated mess. I sigh raking my hand through my hair then turn the bath on. I sit in it for about 20 minutes to the point the water becomes cold. I don't even wash myself I just sit and then I start to cry again. I just want it to all be over I want to stop feeling this way. I don't want to be so sad and afraid anymore. I don't feel like myself. After a while I pick myself out the bath tub and dry myself off. I forgot to bring a change of clothes so I wrap myself in a towel to change. Actually what's even the point of changing it's not like I'm going anywhere and nobody's gonna see me. I lay with the towel wrapped around me staring, staring again at the ceiling. All of a sudden the bed dips and someone is looking at me. I scoot to the back of the bed covering myself with the towel ready to run for it. They then grab my foot sliding me back down the bed as they pin my wrists down. The blue eyes staring down into mine. Fuck Grayson I'm definitely dying this time. Then again who cares. My best friend left me, I've lost all my pride. I've probably brushed my teeth a million times. I can't play piano with these tainted hands what's the point of living.

" If you're going kill me just do it. At this point I'm over it." Grayson's eyes go from blue to black I can see he is angry. What for? If he wants to kill me he should just do it. I have nothing to lose. He throws himself off me sighing angrily before going to the now open window.

" If you wanna kill yourself do it your damn self" he says before exiting through the window. What was the point in him even coming. I'm not even man enough to kill myself even though I probably should. After about 20 minutes there's a ring at the door. I don't even want to answer it so freak it. Then there's another ring then another...then another. Annoyed after putting on some clothes I decided to answer the door. To my surprise my music teacher Mr. Andy is standing there.

" Hello Elliot I'm glad you're home. I hope you don't mind me dropping by" he smiles.

" Oh no I-it's okay come in" I open the door allowing him to step in. I get him some snacks and something to drink opting not to eat any myself. He looks at me for a while before beginning to eat.

" Thank you. I came over because I was worried you haven't missed a day in my class in 3 years. There's a lot of things going around the school right now about you and I'm not sure what is what but I'm worried and I wanted to make sure you were alright"

" I'm fine just been a bit sick nothing to worry about" I answer. I don't even wanna know what the rumors are. probably saying a bunch of horrible things about me.

" I won't push you but I do have something that I think may help. You are amazing at piano there's a school function I would like you to enter if you don't mind it's a talent show and will give some good looks. I have the perfect song for it as well."

"No. No I can't I can't play"

" What do you mean Elliot don't tell me you're giving up piano. You're so good!"

" I can't play these tainted hands these tainted eyes this horrible face I can't play anymore. I am no longer one with the muse I can't be."

" I don't believe that for a second. You are already one there's no going back. tomorrow come to school early in the morning at 7:30 and I'll show you just how connected to the muse you are."

" No"

" Okay. But I'm sure you will come." Mr. Andy walks to the door giving me a smile.

" You are not tainted Elliot. I don't know what's true or what's what but what I do know is I'm here for you and so are a lot of people. Music is a part of you. There's no reason to be sad anymore. Please come tomorrow morning." The look in his eyes told me everything yet I could only watch him walk out and say nothing. Everything just feels so impossible to handle. I mean there's no way I'm going I can't I absolutely cannot. I know everyone in that school hates me they probably think I'm a slut and a horrible person. Lord knows what those guys told them. I don't want to go I can't go.

~ Next morning~

After some serious thinking and consideration I decided to try and go to school at 7:30 like the teacher asked. I will go around the school and straight into his class so I don't meet or see anybody. When I reach his class I can feel my heart beating out my chest. I open the door and nobody is there. Just when I'm about to walk out Mr. Andy walks in.

" Leaving so soon" he smirks. I huff in annoyance before walking over to him.

" Please tell me why I'm here I wanna go home.. with all due respect of course" Mr. Andy chuckles before sitting down at the piano and beginning to play a song. There's a few slip ups here and there as it is a complicated piece but he plays it well nonetheless.

" Okay your turn"

" I already told you I can't play right now! It's impossible there's no way. Please leave me-" a slap echoes through the room.

" Stop it now! You are one of the best musicians I've ever met in my life to be so young. And you are about to give it all up! You are giving up on the muse and you haven't even asked for forgiveness! What happened wasn't your fault. You didn't want what happened to you. You did what you were supposed to. Open your eyes you are not wrong. It's okay to be upset. Now play all the bad emotions all the sadness in you. play your heart's sorrow." I stared at Mr. Andy for a while before sitting at the piano. I looked at the piece in front of me. Love's sorrow. As I'm about to play my hands begin to shake

" I can't. I can't"

"Yes you can. Close your eyes. Believe and play" After a few minutes of silence I decide to play the song. One by one the notes come out I start then stop then start then stop. After about of minute of it I stop completely taking a deep breathe. Closing my eyes my trembling hands stop and begun playing through the notes. Everything in my heart was coming out the anger, the sadness the agony, everything. Reconnected with the muse the goddess playing through me I've never felt so free. Tears began to stream down as I played louder hitting the crescendo with everything in me. I don't want to let go. I don't want to be sad anymore. I'm tired of crying I want to smile again. At the end of the day all I have is me. I will play my heart's sorrow. I hope it reaches everywhere I hope I can become myself again.