CAYDEN'S POV

I recognized my mom's voice anywhere. Any of the sexual tension Vina and I had built up disappeared from my body in an instant. I was absolutely mortified.

Thankfully, Vina and I hadn't been up to anything. As far as she knew, we were just coming home from the bar.

"Mom?" I blurted out. "When did you get home? Is dad here?"

"Dad is upstairs sleeping. We just got home a few hours ago. I was surprised to see you weren't here, but the mess you'd left in the kitchen told me that you had been around."

My face grew hot almost instantly. Leave it to my mom to be able to pick up on something I did wrong in an extremely brief conversation. She could never just let things rest. I wasn't allowed to create any kind of mess or disruption, I wasn't allowed to be seen. It was exhausting being here.

I was always excited to come home, even if it was just for a little bit. And then I would actually be home and within a very, very short period of time, I'd already be packed and ready to leave again. It was like my parents had a special gift of sucking all the air out of the room when we were together.

"It's good to see you too," I said.

"Who's this?" Mom said, directing her attention to Vina. She tightened her robe and I felt an immediate sense of protectiveness. I didn't want my mom anywhere near her, that was for certain.

"Hi, I'm Vina," Vina said. "Avina."

Mom looked at her with a look that anyone else might take as friendly and open, but I knew was guarded. Mom was well-practiced with her appearances. Even though NFL coaches weren't exactly celebrities who'd end up on the front pages of tabloids—so long as they didn't do anything too scandalous—there was a lot of money and attention on them. My mom represented the team almost as much as my father did.

"Hi, Vina," Mom greeted her. Now that Vina and my mom were standing in the same space, I was starting to think that maybe I'd made a mistake bringing Vina here. Not that I didn't want my parents to meet Vina, but that I didn't want to subject Vina to my parents. My mom's hard, icy stare, my dad's coldness and inaccessibility. They were the kind of parents who made sure I always had everything—except for their attention. "Carmela."

"Nice to meet you, Carmela," Vina said and I could tell from Vina's tone that she was a little stunned by this interaction. I knew I definitely was. I felt like I'd been caught red-handed doing something bad, even though we hadn't really done anything wrong. We were definitely about to, but it wasn't like we'd walked in the door having sex.

I was glad we'd decided not to have sex in the car. I had no idea how that would've gone, but I could think of about a million ways that could've gone sideways.

"Well, it's late and I'm tired from traveling. I'll see you both in the morning," Carmela said. I had a hard time thinking of her as my mom sometimes. She could be so distant she mostly felt like an extended relative, an aunt who lived across the world from me. Family, but only by blood.

"Goodnight," I said.

"Your pants are undone, Cayden," Carmela said, not even turning to look back as she headed for the stairs.

-

Needless to say, the mood of the evening had been completely sucked out of me and Vina. We were so surprised by the interaction—and the sudden presence of other people in the house—that I had no idea what to do with myself. I was so unsettled that I couldn't even bring myself to feel horny anymore.

Once my mom was fully upstairs and I heard the door close behind her, I gestured to the stairs. Vina nodded and we walked up to my room.

Even though my parents' room and my room were on different ends of the house with ample space between them, I felt suffocated, like they were sharing a wall with me and could hear everything I was doing.

This was how it always felt with them. Even as a kid, my behavior was seen as a nuisance more than anything else. I was always too loud, too in the way, too disruptive, too needy. Seemingly being in the same room as my mom for too long put a strain on her.

The hardest part was that there were times when they could seem almost warm. They'd given a sentimental birthday gift or Christmas present, or they would send a nice text or email update. But it would always go right back.

They weren't unkind parents, but they were cold. That was just how it had always been. At the very least, I was just grateful that it hadn't been a big deal to them that I liked girls.

"Are your parents okay with me staying here?" Vina asked, her voice low, like she was also worried that my parents would overhear and get on her case. She was learning quickly, which made me sad. I didn't want her to feel like she had to be a careful guest.

I brought her into this environment to get her away from the hell of New York. But it turned out all I might've done was bring her into an entirely new kind of hell.

"Yes, it's fine," I said. I reached out for her hands, catching a glimpse of my still-unbuttoned pants and undone zipper that my mom had caught sight of. I'd been so caught up with coming in that I hadn't even thought to frantically do them up again.

And as usual, my mom had to have the last word, so I didn't even have the chance to defend myself. As far as she knew, I had them done like that because I'd eaten a lot at dinner and my pants were too tight.

"Did I get you in trouble with your mom?"

I took a deep breath, unsure of how to handle this conversation. It was a hard conversation to begin with, and even worse without any preparation. I didn't like talking about my parents and my parents had a way of deeply upsetting me, even from a distance. They were part of the reason I distanced myself so much from Vina at first.

I hadn't meant to get weird with her, I just had a tendency to get weird with everyone when it came to my parents. I would isolate myself, pulling away from everyone. It was when my most self-destructive tendencies came out, like ignoring the person who genuinely made me happy.

"It'll be fine. My mom is just kind of...like that," I said. I sat down on my bed and started kicking off my shoes and socks, then went for my shirt.

Vina walked over and brushed my hair out of my face. "You can be honest with me if you need me to go home at any point. If this is all too much, it's okay. I have a place to go."

"I might as well just go back with you, then," I said.

"No, no. It's okay. I have a house I can stay at until you get back," Vina said. She was always so kind. She tried so hard to make things work and did everything she could to be accommodating. It was something I really loved about her. I knew some people saw it as a weakness—people like Sebastian loved that kind of flexibility and loved to take advantage of unconditional care—but I saw it as a form of love.

"Your place to go isn't your house with Jade and Jaci," I said. I couldn't let her go back there. When I thought about how her friends treated her after everything with Sebastian, it made my blood boil. It made my blood boil even now that it had been weeks since it first unfolded. The most recent incident—with her scorned ex-friend telling on us to Sebastian—was just the icing on the cake. "At the very least, you should stay at my place. At our place."

It was still so strange saying it sometimes. Part of me hated that our relationship had been pushed like this. As fun as it was to get to see Vina and spend time with her, and I didn't mind caring for her, I also wished we could've had a normal relationship from the jump. I was worried having to move that quickly would put a strain on us.

"You don't have to do that," Vina said. "It'll be fine. Jade and Jaci are probably home anyway. Everyone leaves for a break during January term—but even if that isn't the case, I could always go back home to stay with my parents."

"Vina," I said, my voice softening. She sat down next to me and leaned her head onto my shoulder. "It's going to be okay. You're not going anywhere. I'll make sure of it."

I hoped I sounded confident. As much as I meant the words, my family was a force of nature. I just had to hope Vina's and my relationship could survive.