My eyes practically bulged out of my skull as I took in Cayden, standing there in black leggings with a sweatshirt and her dark hair pulled into a neat high bun, I should've assumed she'd be running through Central park—I mean she lives on the Upper East side.

"Cayden?" Kori scoffed as she looked between us. "Oh okay this makes sense now," she shook her head as she stood from the bench.

Cayden looked at me, a slight frown on her face. I never wanted her to look at me like that ever again, the pain that I felt in my chest was immeasurable.

"Cayden I..." I said unsure of how deeply I wanted to get into it. Kori and I hadn't actually done anything sexual in nature, but we had flirted, which definitely meant something. As much as I wanted to say it didn't, I knew I'd be devasted if I heard Cayden had even been flirting with other people while we'd been involved. It was stupid and contradictory, and I could see that now. But was it too late?

"I'm going to go, this is already awkward enough." Kori sighed.

"Okay," Cayden said, unsure of where else to take the conversation.

Once Kori walked away, I turned to Cayden, my stomach tightening into a ball that made me feel nauseous. I had no idea what to say to her. Nothing happened? Because technically nothing really did happen. But I still feel guilty about it. I knew it was going to hurt Cayden's feelings.

"Cayden," I said.

Cayden didn't respond, she just continued her walk through central park with me following behind her, desperate to explain.

"Cayden please talk to me," I said as I walked beside her.

"You know who she is, right?" Cayden asked.

"Cayden—"

"I just..." Cayden said and shook her head. "I don't really want to discuss this right now."

"Please talk to me," I said, but Cayden wouldn't even look at me. "Let me explain. You don't know the full story."

Cayden shook her head. "I don't know if I actually believe this," she said, her voice low. It was like she'd put a knife through me.

We walked through the park toward her condo, people passing by who knew Cayden, some stopping by to say hello occasionally. I hadn't felt this way since I started dating Sebastian—that sick feeling in my stomach like someone was about to get yelled at. Usually, it was me who'd get scolded, but It was always Sebastian's doing. This time, I knew it was my fault and I knew I'd deserve anything Cayden said about me or to me.

I wondered how long we should let it go for. Until we got to her condo? Then we'd argue and end things and either not talk for a little while or just never get back together? That would be it? The idea of repeating the pattern that I had with Sebastian all over again scared me. I didn't want Cayden to feel the same way that I felt when I was with Sebastian.

My stomach sank, making me realize I was acting like Sebastian. I was being dismissive, secretive, and hard to read. I was on and off. There were times Cayden didn't know how to communicate, but she'd apologized for it and made it clear how she felt and why she acted the way she did. I owed the same to her.

This was my time to fix things before they were too far gone and we didn't know how to be happy with each other.

"Talk to me Cayden," I urged her after we finally made it up to her condo after the longest—quietest walk of my life.

Cayden sighed as she shook her head while we both stood in the entryway of her condo.

"Cay," I said. "Please. I... Kori and I met at a club. I was feeling lonely and rejected and my coping mechanism was to flirt with her. We hung out another time when I ran into her again this past week when you weren't talking to me. We went out again but only once—nothing sexual happened. It was just something stupid, no strings."

"But you know who she is?" Cayden asked.

I stayed silent as she kept her eyes anywhere but on me, anxiously waiting for her to tell me who Kori was.

"She works for my company Avina. She takes pictures of all my clothing lines. She..." Cayden trailed off as she walked over to the familiar photos hanging on the walls. The same aesthetic photos on Kori's walls, the ones that somehow reminded me of Cayden's condo. "She's a close friend of mine too, she even took these," she said as she gently took the pictures off the wall and laid them face down on the bench. "Now... I can't even look at them," she shook her head as she took the last one off the wall and laid it face down on the bench with the rest.

Oh, that was a line I didn't realize I crossed. Now I see why she's this upset.

"I didn't know at the time," I said. "I would've never crossed that boundary if I'd known you two were close friends or that she worked for you."

Cayden looked at me, her expression so sad it was hard to believe I'd ever made her feel that way. I wanted to take all of the bad feelings out of her. I wanted to apologize over and over again and make sure she never experienced any kind of hurt.

"I... I have to refer her to a different company now, this is a conflict of interest—I don't even know if she and I can be friends after this," Cayden sighed stressfully as she processed this.

"I'm so sorry, Cayden," I said.

"Do you want to be with me?" she asked, not looking at me.

"Yes, Cayden," I said. "More than anything. I really, really want to be with you. The reason I went out looking for attention was because I was so hurt that I thought you weren't into me. And then I ended up leaving the club that night because I'd wanted to talk to you instead of anyone else. I couldn't bring myself to move further with her because I could only think of you. It's all you, Cayden. Anything otherwise has just been me trying to pretend that I don't have any feelings." I sighed. "You can yell at me if you want."

"Yell at you?" Cayden asked, frowning.

"Yeah, I—"

"Would Sebastian yell at you?"

I blinked at her a few times. "I mean, yeah—"

"Vina, what?" Cayden asked, walking over to me and taking my hands in hers. "There's no reason he should be acting like this. I know this kind of stuff can evoke a lot of feelings but...yelling at you? Getting into a verbal fight over something like this? Over anything?"

"I... I don't know," I said. "That was just what would happen. If he thought I didn't look happy enough or if something happened... I don't know."

"Jesus," Cayden said. "I'm a little hurt and reeling, but no, I'm not going to yell at you. You don't deserve that."

"I'm really sorry, Cay," I said. "I just really, really am."

"Is there anyone else?" Cayden asked.

"I haven't slept with anyone else," I said. "Or really even dated. Or talked to. It's mostly just been you. I don't want to see anyone else. I just want you."

"What do you mean really even dated?"

"I—" my face flushed red, thinking about Griffin. He was a really weird story that I didn't exactly know how to box, but now is a perfect time to be honest with her. "My roommates don't know I'm gay."

"Okay?"

"So I've been... pretending to date this one guy I'm really close friends with," I said. "Obviously nothing is going on between us—I mean, he is gay. But he just like... is part of the picture in a weird way."

Cayden went completely silent. So silent I couldn't get a read on what she was thinking or doing.

"It sounds crazy, doesn't it?" I asked.

Cayden looked at me. "You... fake dated your male best friend? So you didn't have to come out to your friends?"

I was so hot from blushing that I felt like the sun. "Yes."

Cayden suddenly let out an airy laugh. "Sorry, sorry," she said, pressing her fingers to her lips. "You went as far as fake dating someone so we could hook up without raising eyebrows?"

"It's stupid, I know—"

"No, that's... it's weird but it's... sweet in a way," Cayden said, and then started laughing harder. I couldn't help it—I started laughing with her.

"I'm sorry I'm such a mess," I said.

"It's okay," Cayden said. "We're in a really weird situation. All that matters is we go forward from here. No more secrets, no more going ghost on each other. We really give this a shot."

"Yeah?" I said. "I was just thinking the same thing. No more complications. Just us." I looked at her. "You like me enough for that?"

"Yes, absolutely," Cayden said with no hesitation.

"Perfect," I said, smiling.