I couldn't fight off my growing anxiety about it. Between not hearing from Cayden for several days and dealing with the potential anxiety of Sebastian—and all of my friends—knowing about me and Cayden, I was a wreck. All I wanted to do was pull out my phone and demand that Cayden tell me what was going on but that made me feel somehow even worse.

I knew, logically, it was the right thing to do. Griffin had made a great point telling me that I'd be sitting with my nerves until I got an answer. That was way worse than getting an answer I didn't like.

By the end of the week, I felt like a hot mess and everyone around me could tell. Jaci was edging around asking me if I'd been dumped, to which I could only respond I really hope not. I was almost relieved when she and Jade were so busy with their night outs and enjoying their winter break that they didn't have time to grill me. I was sure if they didn't know already, they would've very quickly learned all about Cayden—way more than I had any intention of sharing with anyone.

I was debating between the pros and cons of going out that Friday night when I got a text from Griffin, telling me I had to go out with him. I had a feeling adding alcohol to my already anxiety-riddled, sleep-deprived body was not going to end well, but I thought I might as well go for it.

I got dressed up, taking my time to do my makeup and get dressed in an outfit I genuinely liked. I wore my brown hair pulled back into a low slick bun with natural makeup and a tight short long-sleeve black dress clinging to my body. I felt and looked tired and my ego was definitely bruised between getting out of a relationship that I'm still being pressured to get back into and then being ghosted within mere weeks of each other, but I held it close to my heart that I cleaned up nicely.

"You look hot," Jade said, stopping by my bedroom door. She was cradling a bowl in one of her hands and using a spoon to eat her cereal with her other hand. Jade looked like the extent of her plans for the night were cuddling up watching a new movie on Netflix—her hair was up, her glasses were on, she was wearing comfortable pants. I almost envied her.

"Thanks," I said.

"Did the asshole text you?" Jade asked. She's referring to Griffin as the asshole since she and Jaci intuitively knew something had gone terribly wrong. Even though it was directed at the wrong person, I was kind of glad they still had my back. It felt good to simplify the way Cayden was making me feel by just calling her an asshole. If that was what she wanted to be, then so be it.

I also had to assume that, unless Jade and Jaci were exceptional actors—which I knew they weren't—they had no idea about me and Cayden. That either meant that Sebastian hadn't told anyone, or the call had nothing to do with Sebastian. I wasn't sure which thought I was more scared of. If the call wasn't Sebastian, then who could it have been?

I didn't want to go there, but all I could think about was Zera. Or maybe it was her ex who kept blurring the lines within their cordial dynamic. The thought made my stomach swirl with nerves. I hated that I was a jealous person and I really hated that I didn't trust Cayden. But, at the same time, Cayden wasn't doing a great job of giving me a reason to trust her. We hadn't known each other for that long and just because she was nice to me didn't mean she was deserving of my trust.

"Um," I said, because technically Jade was right but she also wasn't. I was going to go out with Griffin, but Griffin was more of my emotional support person at the moment rather than an asshole.

Jade shook her head, taking my hesitation as an admission I was seeing someone who'd hurt my feelings. "Just be careful. I hate seeing you like this, especially after everything with Sebastian. If he's a dick, just dump him and move on. No need to waste your time. You're young and hot and have a fuck ton of options guaranteed.

I laughed a little for what felt like the first time in days. "Thanks, J-bug."

"I'm serious. I'll even get you on Tinder just to prove how many guys out there would happily have sex with you, if not try to date you if that's more your speed right now," Jade said. "But I do think with this whole break-up... maybe it's for the best you stay single. You'll have guys all over you. Why not try a bunch of them?"

I appreciated the sentiment, but when she walked away, all I could think was that I didn't want any of the guys—just one girl.

I walked into the rooftop bar located in Midtown that Griffin suggested and when he saw me, he waved me over to the table he was sitting at. He sat among the crowd in a black button-up with navy slacks and shiny dress shoes. Music played while the doors remained open to the balcony part of the bar looming over the city, where people had begun branching out into the cold air to take a breather.

"I'm so glad you're here. I got dragged out with a bunch of the guys from my study group and I just can't do it," he said, making me laugh. "They're great, but they're straight—so so straight,"

I laughed at his dramatics, "Well I'm here to save the day—I'm also glad you got me out of the house, honestly," I said and Griffin nodded.

"How are you... feeling?" he asked.

"Definitely been better."

"Still haven't heard from her?"

"Nope," I said with a frown forming on my face.

"Harsh."

"Yeah," I said. "Buy me a drink."

"Ask and you shall receive," Griffin jokingly bowed his head before walking off in the direction of the bar, already starting to get the hang of my order. I hung back and looked around, not totally sure what I was looking for. But the longer I looked, the harder it was to deny to myself—I was looking for someone to go home with.

If Cayden wanted to ice me out, fine. But I wasn't going to wait for her. She couldn't keep holding onto me, confessing her feelings to me, and then pulling back. It wasn't fair to me. And maybe Jade was right—going from one relationship to immediately committing to the next available person was limiting. I didn't need to waste my time and energy on someone who seemed to not care about me, so why would I?

Griffin walked back over with the drinks in his hands and studied me curiously. "You're thinking about something. You look... dangerous."

I let out a small laugh. "I'm just out to prove a point to myself, I guess."

He raised his eyebrows at me in surprise. "Cheers to that." I looked around more and, as if able to read my mind, Griffin said, "Who are you eyeing?"

"No one in particular yet. I'm just looking. It's hard because I don't really know who's out or who to approach. No obvious signals except maybe short nails."

"Well, we need to find you a woman... do a lap around the bar, I'll chill over here," Griffin suggested before looking over to the table near us at the blonde man looking our way. "Besides that cutie over there will definitely keep me company while you're gone."

I chuckled before nodding and grabbing my drink, walking over to the bar top with hopes that maybe someone would approach me first. Maybe... maybe I could just text Cayden instead and basically ask her to stop hurting my feelings.

I shook my head. I wasn't giving Cayden that kind of power. If she wanted me, she'd had me—it was her decision to cut me out.

I glance over in the direction of random hazel eyes that were burning holes into the side of my face, and sure enough, the guy responsible for the staring didn't bother taking his attention off of me, he even smiled a little bit rather than looking away. I must've given him the wrong impression because he moved down the bar to sit next to me.

"I noticed you were staring," I pointed out due to the awkwardness I felt. I didn't exactly know what to say.

He ran his fingers through his golden strands of hair, "I made it obvious... I know. I was just trying to figure out if that guy you came with was your friend or if you had plans to go home with him later," he referred to Griffin.

"Only friends," I said. "No one to go home with."

"I'm open to changing that," he said, smiling.

"Right..." I said. Even though I admittedly loved the attention and loved feeling desired, talking to him didn't bring me any kind of satisfaction. I wasn't attracted to him in that way and it wasn't regarding him in a personal way... I'm just not into men. And of course, it was nothing how Cayden made me feel, which was hard for even another woman to do in the first place.

"What are you drinking?" he asked. As I was about to tell him, a voice cut me off, making us both turn to look.

"Are you fucking kidding me?"