Waiting for Cayden to reach out made time move at an impossibly slow pace. I didn't know how to distract myself, so I just kept unlocking my phone and hoping a text from her would miraculously show up. It made the time go by so painstakingly slow while my stomach twisted in anxiousness and my mind ventured through all the what if's again. What if it was me? What if it was her ex? What if it was her thinking we were moving too fast? What if, what if, I mean the rampant thoughts seriously never stop, and I'm growing infuriated. It's having me question every single thing that's ever happened between us or even her behavior—before and after she started acting this way.

I felt like an idiot for even waiting for her or working myself up over it. In my mind, there were two options—Cayden broke it off with me and either explained herself or didn't, or Cayden eventually reached out and explained herself. Either way, I'd just have to deal with it. There were no other options. If Cayden really didn't want to be with me, then so be it. It'd hurt but I'd eventually get over it.

After still not receiving a text from Cayden—I pulled out my phone and texted Griffin to see if he wanted to go out that night. I know it was only the morning and I was already thinking about going out, but Cayden had me on edge. I needed somewhat normality in my life right now, and going out with Griffin seemed to be the way to achieve that. He also knows about Cayden which means I don't have to pretend to be happy or fine around him—and I could possibly even discuss what's going on, even though a part of me doesn't want to right now.

"Okay, so what's wrong?" Griffin asked as we sat down at a nearby bar for happy hour. I honestly appreciated that Griffin agreed to go out with me. As much as I loved my roommates, they were going to know immediately it was relationship related and I wasn't in the state of mind to handle Cayden and lying to my roommates.

"What do you mean?" I asked. As badly as I wanted to vent, I also didn't want to seem like I was absolutely nuts. And it felt like all I did was talk to Griffin about how much I liked Cayden, how I was worried she didn't like me, how we were going to make things work. Griffin was probably as sick of my shit as I was starting to become.

"Texting me to go out for happy hour before nine-thirty in the morning is a cry for help," Griffin said. "I'm not, like, an expert when it comes to women, but I can only assume you're going through something right now."

I was relieved he was the one who was saying it first, but it didn't make me feel like any less of an idiot. "You might be right."

"I know I'm right," Griffin raised a brow as he leaned his arm onto the bar top. "Now spill."

I smiled a little, relieved to have someone in my life who not only was there for me but was fully in on all of my messiness. I didn't even know what I would do if I hadn't opened up to him about Cayden. I would've been losing my mind not being able to talk about it with anyone.

"She's being totally cold right now," I said. "I can't get a read on her at all and it's driving me crazy. I feel like I should just ask her to tell me what's going on but I also feel like her lack of response is her response, y'know? Like, if someone's not talking to you, then that means they don't want to."

"Have you considered that it's not related to you at all?" Griffin asked. "I'm not asking to be mean but what makes you think it was something you did?"

"She's shutting me out."

"What led up to that."

I looked at him, shaking my head and then sipping my drink. "I can't believe you're being logical at a time like this. Who allowed you to be the emotionally mature one, huh?"

Griffin laughed. "I can't help that I'm just that great," he joked slightly before his expression turned a little more serious. "Sometimes it's hard to see when you're in it, but people respond to stress in different ways. I mean, all of this could be related to you, but that doesn't mean it's actually connected to anything you did. It might be that she's worried about you guys moving too fast. Or it could just be that she's, like, stressed about a situation at work or something."

"She started shutting me out after she got a phone call," I said. "It was early in the morning. She left the room and then when she came back she laid on the other side of the bed—which I know was intentional, and then refused to look at me when we both got up later. It was really weird. So I don't think it's about work or anything. And in all honesty, I feel like it's not even work-related."

"You never know," Griffin said. "And you realistically won't know unless you actually ask her."

"Why do I have to be the mature one who communicates with her?" I asked and put my head in my hands. "I can't put my pride on the line like that. If she shuts me out completely, I won't know what to do with myself."

"If she shuts you out completely, then you have your answer about how she feels, and you can start moving on. Way better than being in limbo."

I knew he was right, but I didn't like it.

"She just... she'd just said that she liked me. We had this really sweet moment together and she's always so good to me. And there was no indication anything was wrong at all until that phone call. It was so weird."

"Then she'll probably be honest with you, if you ask, and tell you what the call was about. Or, at the very least, tell you not to worry because the call didn't have anything to do with you."

"Telling me not to worry is never going to work."

Griffin laughed and took a sip of his cloudy pink cocktail, "Look your options are talk to her or don't. You can do what you want. But just know that being in purgatory waiting for some kind of response is going to suck ass and will keep sucking ass until you figure out what's going on."

I sighed. I tried to remember the way Cayden had said she was into me and remember the way that she touched me. The memories validated me somewhat but didn't help me relax at all. It's just hard when you don't have any answers to go off of except for a phone call and weird behavior following it. There are just too many possibilities without any explanations, and that's definitely not something I needed, considering I already jump to conclusions and overthink everything constantly.

Griffin looked at me, clearly a little humored by my anguish. I knew I was being melodramatic and immediately jumping to conclusions, but it was hard not to. Every emotion I felt when it came to Cayden felt huge. I really liked her, and I cared about her and I cared about how she felt about me. While there was something really amazing and exciting about being that into someone, it also came with a lot of stress.

"It is a little weird though, right?" I said. "Her cutting me out so quickly?"

"That's why I think it's not you, it's probably something else," Griffin said, which made me feel a little better. But it also made me think—what could that something else be?

Or who?

I looked at Griffin, my eyes wide. "Oh my god," I said. "What if Sebastian knows about us?"