Our breathing was deep and heavy—breathless as if we'd both finished running a marathon. My lips were barely grazing the side of her neck as I continue to rest on top of her, waiting for our bodies to respond to one another. Waiting for our hands to grip each other unconsciously in the most inappropriate way. Instead, Cayden retracted her hand away from my covered ass and let it fall to the side of her body with a deep and long breath—as if she were trying to control herself. As if she were someone who had been starved for an eternity and I was the food placed in front of her, except I was filled with bottles of poison.

"We can't," she said, her raspy voice deep and low, "Not under these circumstances... Not after everything that just unfolded," she added as if she were trying to convince herself more than me.

While I wanted to ask her if she was sure, or even inform her how badly I want her... how I've thought about her in the most inappropriate ways—I didn't. Seeming desperate was not how I wanted to come off, so I just nodded and stayed in the same spot while trying to catch my breath. I expected her to move to the other side of the bed or slide out from under me, but she didn't. She stayed there with her arms now wrapped around me and pressed a gentle, yet fleeting chaste kiss to my forehead.

We both ended up falling into a deep sleep in each other's arms with our warm bodies pressed together while the moonlight flooded in through the big windows displaying the city of Washington, D.C. Our legs were completely tangled by morning while our hold on one another got tighter as if we thought we might lose one another while being in such a deep trance of sleep.

Waking up in each other's arms after last night was far from awkward, and I grew a little concerned that it wasn't. We both showered and changed into new clothes before gathering our suitcases and leaving. We stopped for smoothies on the way out of the city that we'd only stayed in for one night before winding up on the highway, which was busy due to holiday traffic.

I slowly glanced over to Cayden whose eyes seemed to remain on the slow-moving traffic in front of us. She's in a black Essentials hoodie with matching sweatpants and colorful Nike Sacai sneakers laced on her feet over her thick white socks. Meanwhile, I opted for more color, wearing black leggings and a soft yellow hoodie that my—now dry—brown hair fell onto while black platform Ugg slippers kept my feet comfortably warm. Cayden's dark hair was pulled back like yesterday, except instead of a high bun, it was in a lower bun with a middle part. Her bare face looked as soft as ever while the glow of the sunlight reflected off of her smooth tatted skin. Her left arm which covered in tattoos along with her fingers held onto the top of the black leather steering wheel while her right arm with the same amount of tattoos down to her fingers rested on the middle console.

"The car ride is much nicer today," I commented which caused Cayden to hum lightly as she keeps her eyes locked carefully on the traffic, which is beginning to finally make progress, "My back feels much better,"

Cayden's grip tightens around the leather steering wheel, "Oh?" she asks as she adjusts in her seat slightly—and I quickly noticed that she was no longer calm and collected like before. It's like even mentioning the passion that practically burst between us last night was enough to tick her off, "Sounds like an insinuation,"

My brows uncontrollably raise at her straightforwardness, "Of what?" I challenge her.

Cayden's eyes glance over to me as the car sits still in the heavy traffic. I feel my slow heart rate pick up with just her addicting stare on me and the way her dark eyes trace all over my face as if she's trying to memorize every detail. The way she purses her soft pink lips in a harsh manner like she's trying to hold herself back from saying what she's thinking. Cayden's attention diverts back to the packed highway in front of us when the traffic moves.

"I heard you," she murmurs in such a low tone, that I could barely tell whether or not I imagined it, "In the shower... I mean," she adds as her face flushes causing her right hand resting on the middle console to quickly turn on the AC—as if thinking or even speaking about what I did in the shower affects her tremendously.

I briefly press my hands over my red face as embarrassment washes over me, "I...wow," I breathe out not knowing what to say.

"I thought it was the music at first but it was a little... loud,"

My face grows hotter as I stare straight ahead, "That's so... wow... I'm sorry," I try to find my words that suddenly disappeared.

"I considered telling you, but I didn't want to make things weird," she confesses as the car moves slightly, and I suddenly feel the need to just walk home, "But it's clear that we're past that," she adds as her deep voice grows lower and I easily feel her dark eyes glance over to me.

I shake my head hoping that the embarrassment will shake away with the action, "I... don't even know what to say,"

"It was hot Vi... I mean it sounded like someone was actually in there with you," her raspy voice confessed causing my brown eyes to glance over to her, and I quickly grow surprised when her stare is already placed on me.

My brain swirls with numerous replies to her statement. I contemplated not pushing past the boundary, but a part of me did... A part of me desired to discuss such an intimate topic with her, hoping to see how far it would push her.

Before I can contemplate the thought any longer, I blurt, "Did you want to join me?"

"I definitely thought about it," her raspy voice answers without hesitation.

"You know..." I trailed off, unsure of whether I should say what I'm about to say, "I was thinking about you in there,"

Cayden visibly swallows, "Oh yeah?" she asked as she tried to hold her composure, "What were you thinking about?" her voice grows lower with each word uttered.

"How your touch would feel or how you would tease me in certain ways. Eventually, I imagined you pressing me against the cold shower wall and fucking me," my words grow slower and more strung out, which I can tell is easily affecting her by the way her grip has managed to tighten even more on the steering wheel.

"Jesus Vi," her words come out in a low whisper, "You're making it so hard to not pull over at another hotel and fuck you right now,"

"So do it,"

"You know we can't,"

I tilt my head, "But we want to," I add as my voice grows breathless and soft.

Cayden shakes her head, "Sebastian seriously didn't deserve you," she pointed out in disbelief, "I mean the things I'd do to you..."

I raise a challenging brow before tangling my fingers with hers that are resting on the leather middle console, "Show me,"

Cayden's dark eyes glance over to me before diverting her attention to our intertwined fingers, "I... we can't. He's still my best friend, and you're his ex," she sighs as if she didn't want to decline the idea.

I nodded before I reluctantly replied, "I understand,"

The rest of the ride flew by quickly, Cayden and I's hands managed to stay intertwined the rest of the ride as we conversed about other things... much more appropriate things. I find a pit digging deeply into my stomach when we eventually pull up in front of the familiar white brownstone smushed between one cream brownstone and one red-bricked brownstone. The busy New York sidewalks are a little less crowded in Soho compared to the other areas of Manhattan, which makes it easy to identify my roommate's cars parked on the side of the street. Everything feels so real now... Like I was living in an imaginary world here with Cayden and now it's time to face the real world—that has real consequences.

"Hey... I'm sure they'll understand," Cayden's soft voice guides me away from my thoughts, "And if they don't then fuck them honestly, aren't they supposed to be your friends?" she asks in a rhetorical manner.

I sigh as I meet her dark eyes, "Yeah, yeah I guess Sebastian was just so likable... they're all going to assume it's my fault,"

Cayden furrows her brows, "Well it wasn't okay? The way he treated you yesterday was absolutely terrible, and that's coming from his best friend," her tone grows smoother and softer with every word she speaks, "And if you would've stayed, it might've happened again,"

I purse my lips as I grasp onto what she just said, it probably would've happened again. I mean if he felt comfortable lashing out at me like that in such a physical way, then he'd do it again if I'd forgiven him for it. It's sad to think that if Cayden wasn't there, I probably would've, but now I can't even imagine myself with Sebastian... or a man in general. I even decided to promise myself that I'll never allow myself into a situation like that again.

"I know you dislike when I thank you, but... thank you again for all of this," I smile softly at her as I try to push the anxious thoughts of my roommates away.

Cayden nods, "You're welcome Vi,"