Yes, I am alive. I just was not sure of what to write and how to continue or if anyone would read it.

Gasps were heard from every corner of Blaze's old house. As soon as the door swung open, Austin let out the tiniest whimper making us the center of attention. I knew what was coming. Truly , I wanted to brace myself and stand strong but no matter how calm I tried to stay my intake of breaths started fastening, my heartbeats wildly raced and my palms sweated nervously. Today is seriously one of those insane days. Firstly, I fought with Blaze leading to our first real heated kiss.I am still processing the shock of finally kissing him how that made me feel and how he coldly brushed off such kiss as if it never happened. Add to such tension, the revelation of Austin to both our present families is a lot to process in just one afternoon.

Can't life just pause for a moment and allow me to breathe?

Can't the ground just swallow me ?

Can't I go back in time and get a babysitter for Austin?

A repeated little whimper shook me out of my thoughts. Looking down to Austin, I saw him extending his little hands for Blaze. He always wants to play with Blaze but the latter never acknowledges him. Chris and Luca were more than happy to help with Austin. Blaze , on the other hand, disregards Austin or looks at him like an enemy of his. It hurts me deeply to know that he , the man I am crushing on, can never acknowledge me or my baby. Yes, I actually admitted that I am crushing on my stupid player of a husband. But what can a girl do when such a man treats her so nicely and protectively most of the time?

"It is okay baby. I am here for you." I shushed Austin calmly bringing him closer to me and away from Blaze.

Why can't he be nice to a baby? I give him every right to be mad at me. I truly messed up his free spirited kind of life but Austin did nothing. He can be regarded as another victim of my wild dreams.

Moving steps ahead of me Blaze led our way inside. He walked without looking back at us. He just kept on marching forward and I felt hate and rigidity seeping from him. He has every right, I kept on thinking. I imposed my own dreams on him...

"Who is that?" My mother-in-law asked in a hush as if fighting to get the words out.

"My son." I informed looking down...Why do I feel guilty? I did nothing bad. I was there to help a baby and give him a new home. Is it really this bad?

"Son? You just had to do it didn't you?" My own mother echoed with a bit of tiredness in her tone. Am I really that troublesome ?

"I knew that her disappearance for more than a week meant something." my dad sighed knowing exactly what I always dreamed of .

"I couldn't leave him. He couldn't leave me. Once I put him down, he would just cry and become restless. I tried to ignore the suddenly motherly feelings I got towards him but that day I couldn't get into my car without him..." I explained hoping that my parents won't be that disappointed with me.

"Is this why you married my son?" Blaze's mother hushed in a hateful tone making not just I but Blaze go rigid.

"Mother!" He grumbled at her shocking me out of my stand. My father also stepped to defend me but another spoke.

"Let's talk this into my office. God knows this family does not need anymore scandales. Blaze already kept us in the tabloids for long." my father in law stated and without waiting for any of us to react he moved ahead leading us to his office.

"Explain yourselves." My mother-in-law ordered

"Austin is my adopted kid. His mother left him in my orphanage saying that her life is too messy for him. Imagine how hard it is to see an innocent baby being handed to strangers because his mother is too wild to keep him. I always leave my orphanage in tears when a baby is dropped there. I hate how cruel the world can be to such angels. The moment she handed him to me, he just cried silently and wouldn't let go of my neck. I tried. Truly, I did. I know that this might look like a pure selfish act but he is mine and mine alone. Blaze has nothing to do with him. Being the nice guy that he is, Blaze didn't want to stop me from fulfilling something on my dream list. I begged him to adopt and he said if I feel like I am able to handle such responsibility, he is okay with it. Austin is not linked to Blaze in anyway. He is my baby and will have no access to your wealth if that's why you are troubled." I recited my already prepared speech in tears on one go and hugged my son closer waiting for the worst.

"This is why I allowed such sudden marriage. You are changing him." His father confessed to my surprise.

"I am sorry" His mother added to and to my surprise smiled warmly at me , this is a first.

"Now that everything is clear can we join the party?" Blaze questioned as his hand reached mine but I shook his hold away. He did nothing to help. He just stood there and allowed them to question even my reputation. I know that I made this mess but he could have been more supportive like Luca or Chris?

Walking next to my mother who instantly warmed up to Austin made me feel better. Blaze stuck by my side and kept on gazing upon me but I vowed to ignore him. Every guest was eyeing us so I couldn't make any reaction at all. I just kept on smiling and holding on to Austin who tried to mumble nonsensical things at whoever guest came to greet or ask about him.

Leaving me only with Blaze my mother had to go and socialize with Blaze's aunts. The reaction of his family took me by surprise: unlike him they thought that my adoption of Austin is the right heroic thing to do. They cooed at him, kissed his chubby little hands and laughed at his on going mumbles. He is turning more into Blaze , an extrovert and the life of the party.

"Why are you acting like so?" Blaze hushed leaning closer to me and the smell of his cologne alone made me shiver. Stupid crush and idiotic feelings. His hand again made a grab at my free one but I shook it off.

"Like?" I denied in a passive tone hearing him huff

"Like this." He said and for the third time tried to hold my hand but I moved a step away.

" I don't feel like holding hands." I replied brushing him off and hugged Austin with my free hand too.

"But..." he stepped in front of me and images from our earlier kiss played in my mind...it definitely amazes me to see how unaffected he is by our kiss. His wild past must have made such little gestures plain.

"Blaze" I tried to warn

"Is that why he married you or did u have to adopt one because he does not know how to make them?" a not so strange voice echoed shaking us out of our bubble.

The change in Blaze's poster was noticeable to anyone close. He stood rigidly tall and his hands turned into fists, his fingers pressed hardly on his palm and in a second he was by my side with his left hand dropped over my shoulder.

"Hello to both of you." Bryan continued with a sly smile and like the last time his eyes studied me thoroughly making me tense.

"Do I always need to tell you to back off?" Blaze loudly spoke and his grip on my shoulder tightened. I was already pressed to his chest and no air whatsoever could have gotten between us.

"Are you this interested in others'lives?" I questioned meanly while trying to wiggle my way out of Blaze's iron grip but he wouldn't allow it

"To answer you both no I am not." Bryan replied winking my way and I heard Blaze curse under his breath " and to answer you cousin well I guess I got my flirty ways from watching the master himself so why so angry? Do you feel threatened ?" He teased and the tension between him and Blaze reached the roof.

" I would never feel threatened by you. This is my wife and this is our adopted kid. I didn't marry her to cover up for anything and Lexi here could assure you that I am more than knowledgeable in the ways of making babies. We just fell in love with Austin and couldn't let him live in an orphanage." Blaze argued making me blush at one point and then totally surprised me by taking Austin out of my hold and hugging him close. They do look a like. Austin was thrilled , at this moment and gave Blaze a toothless grin. To stop any further attachement my baby boy would have I took him right back ignoring his whimpers and Blaze's hard gaze.

"A changed man ?You really do work wonders, Lexi." Bryan commented laughingly"It will be dull to have no more competition in the world of girls." he continued " But I would always tease you about choosing such a nice innocent girl. I always imagined you would end up with a model or a star of some kind. Blaze with a simple cute girl and a baby before the end of his twenties. I am kind of impressed. " Bryan completed "She must be as feisty and soul-full in bed as she is outside. I wouldn't mind giving her a ...." Before the comment ended the fist of Blaze rose and met his cousin's cheek startling all guests.

" Stay out of our lives and away from her." Blaze roared ignoring all people and to my dismay all eyes were on us again.

" Grab your bag and let's go home." he ordered at me and I feeling his wrath just nodded and soothed the crying baby in my hands.