Something is very wrong with Kristina. Not once during the movie has she tried to touch me. She hasn't shifted over, her hands haven't reached out. She didn't even try to do the stupid fake yawn. I'm not even sure if she's moved at all. It's as if she's been holding her breath for the past hour and a half.

The only reason it bothered me is because the last time we watched a movie together, a minute didn't go past where she wasn't trying to touch me, so I am just a little worried. There's nothing wrong with being a little worried.

Of course, there's nothing wrong with worrying; it means you're starting to care about her. I don't care about Kristina; unhappy people just stress me out. How does that even work? Two people with the same personalities don't get along. So you're saying opposites attract? Sure.

So you're attracted to Kristina now?

"Adrianna, why did you pause the movie?" Why did you pause your emotions?

"We need to talk." I sighed but didn't turn to look at her. I can already tell that this is going to be a mess.

Making conversation is not one of my good qualities. In fact, it's number two on my long list of things that I'm bad at.

Living is number one.

The bed finally shifted and I could now feel a pair of concerned eyes watching me.

"Talk about what?" She asked and I shrugged slightly. My mind instantly went to something comfortable like board games or Sebastio's, but then I decided that would defeat the purpose of the conversation.

"What's wrong with you? You're not being very much like yourself." Which isn't necessarily the bad part. A new Kristina is something that I could be totally down with. Unless of course, the new Kristina replaces all of the things I actually like about this Kristina.

Not that I'm saying I enjoy how touchy she is. I just appreciate the consistency of it all. I like being able to count on people and the one thing I can count on Kristina to do is annoy me by making gross jokes and invading my personal space bubble.

"What are you talking about?" Why do I have to do all of the conversing in this conversation I proposed? What kind of logic is that?

"You're a million miles away, both literally and figuratively. Any other day you're on me like a second pair of skin. Now you're hanging off the side of my bed. You're not being very you." You also haven't made a sarcastic comment, or offered your unnecessary commentary, or called the female love interest in the movie "hot". I could go on and on.

"I thought you didn't want me to touch you."

There are a lot of things that I don't want. I don't want to take my medication. I don't want to go to school. I don't want to be alive. But I still deal with it.

Plus, she's making it sound like I just don't want her touching me. I don't want anyone in my space. And if I had to pick someone to be in my space, I'd choose her because I'm so used to it now.

"Sometimes I say things that I don't mean. I tell Cole that I hate him all the time, but I love him. He's probably my favorite person on this entire planet."

Kris was silent for a few moments, and I got to watch the gears turned in her eyes. It was like she was pulling herself out of her head, and remembering where she is, who she's dealing with. Eventually, a hesitant smirk appeared.

"Then what does that make me?" There she is.

"Maybe number three. Ellie is definitely number two." I teased, with a nervous smile of my own.

A hand found itself under my chin, and then next thing I knew, I was staring into a pair of very blue eyes. A nervous breath caught in my throat while a confident smirk spread itself across Kris's face.

She is definitely back.

"I bet that I could do something to make you rethink that order." She spoke in a low voice, her breath fanning across my lips. I didn't quite know what to do or what was happening so I did what I usually do when I'm nervous.

I looked for my razor.

I didn't pull away from Kris and walk away, because my body can't really deny the fact that it likes the way Kris's hands feel on my waist and against my cheek. My body was savoring the fact that I was close enough to another human being to feel their body heat.

My brain, on the other hand, is racking with ideas on how to cope with all of what is happening. It had yet to decipher whether Kris's touch was needles or a soft blanket, and the warmth of her body was being confused for a fire.

So I couldn't help but break eye contact with her and look behind her at the desk where my razor is taped.

Without letting go of me, Kris put a few paces of space between us, confusion growing on her face. Her back was to the desk in question, so she had to pivot her body to follow my line of sight.

The smart thing for me to do would be to just look away from the desk; then Kristina's attention would only be on me. But there was static in my palms and my heart was beating entirely too fast. The only solution I had was to get my razor and cut my heart out so that I could hold it.

It just needs some love right now is all.

But when Kris began to stand up, and turn towards the table, I snapped out of it. Getting my heart to slow down is important, but keeping my razor and not letting Cole or Kristina find out that I still have a razor is a lot more important.

I pulled Kris's arm with a tight grip to sit her back down and we sat there staring at each other for a few moments. I estimate that I have about five seconds, at the most, to do or say something before Kris gets back up and walks over to her previous destination.

My options were limited at the moment. I've never been really good at talking myself out of a situation, especially under pressure; I mix up and slur my words making it really obvious that I'm not telling the truth.

So instead I decide to do something.

Kris's lips are extremely nice against mine. I have never experienced anything as mind-blowing as this in my entire life. I definitely wasn't planning on enjoying this, I was actually expecting to hate it. It was just supposed to just be a peck, something crazy enough to make her forget was she was ever looking for. But after the first half-second, I realized that a peck is not going to cut it for me.

My fingers found themselves entangled in her hair and my body positioned itself a lot closer to her's than it had been ten seconds ago. I don't really know what Kris thinks about this kiss because she isn't really kissing back. However, she isn't pushing me away either. I don't really care about that right now though. My self-esteem problems can deal with themselves at a much later date.

When Kris finally did begin to kiss back, things changed drastically.

Her mouth became fervorous against mine and my back was slammed flat against my mattress as Kris straddled my waist. My arms had fallen from her hair during the transition but found themselves to her waist instead. Which is fortunate, because I am in desperate need to hold on to something for dear life. It feels like the world is ending in the utmost best way.

Her mouth trailed from my lips to my neck, and my mouth dropped open in surprise. My eyes were shut tight and I'm positive that when Kris goes home, she will have imprints of my hands on her waist for days. As her lips trailed up to my ear, I found it very, very hard to not squirm underneath her.

"Why are you teasing me Adri?" Kris whispered against my skin, obviously breathless; it's nice to know that I'm not the only one.

"I don't know what you're talking about." I countered. I made the mistake of opening my eyes, and for the second time today, I was ambushed with bright blues. The intensity of her gaze alone made my heart race at an uncharted speed.

"Today you're going to kiss me and tomorrow you're not going to let me anywhere near you." She breathed, resting her forehead against mine.

"Probably," I admitted with a slight shrug. I probably won't even go to school tomorrow.

She chuckled, making me smile as well. "Well, then I guess I better not waste any time." She whispered before lowering her lips back to mine.

Δ

When Kris left, which was about 2 hours and no-movie watching later, I didn't know what to do. I took my medicine per usual, which might have something to do with my desire to do nothing at all. But something tells me it was because Kris took all of my brain power with her.

All I could think about was her. And how I'm going to avoid her tomorrow.

Because unfortunately, as much as Kris blew my mind today, I'm not going to be able to stand the sight of her tomorrow. Either because I'm going to be too embarrassed, or I will have come to my right senses or because it's going to be a normal day meaning Kris will be annoying.

Why don't we ignore options A, B and C, and go with my option D; have a reenactment of what happened today? There is a reason why that is the very last option. Because you're extremely stupid? Because I'd rather shoot myself than have today happen again.

It was great and all, really it was; I'm not going to deny that. This is Kristina that we're talking about though. Actually starting something with Kristina is basically me begging for trouble to happen. I know that I'm basically a walking screw up, but I'm trying to fix that. Kristina is not going to help me with that one bit.

"Adrianna?" Cole called from the other side of my door and I called back, telling him that he could come in.

"You know what tomorrow is right?" Of course, I don't Cole. I totally didn't just have a panic attack about it today or anything.

I shrugged and laid back down on my bed. I am no longer interested in the conversation, so I don't really care to listen. Who would start off a conversation with the one thing that the other person doesn't like to talk about? I know I'm bad at conversation, but really Cole? Even I know not to do that.

"Why don't we make a deal." If the deal isn't about me not going then I'm still not at all interested.

"You have to go tomorrow no matter what," See, this conversation keeps getting worse and worse, "but you'll only have to have a 30-minute session if you cooperate."

I rolled my eyes and burrowed further into my blanket. There is no way I am going to cooperate with her. Tabitha is an evil woman who doesn't deserve to be cooperated with. She never cooperates with me on anything. Why would I even think about cooperating with her?

"Or you can have your regular one-hour session, but you can also take Kristina with you."

Now I sat up, watching Cole with more interest. Kristina has proven to make situations better. Even if today might've complicated things, I'm sure that Kristina would love to come to Tabitha's with me. If she says no, I'll use the earlier part of today to guilt-trip her into it.

Tomorrow's plan is bulletproof.