《The Thoughts That Weren't Suicidal》13 | Tennis Court

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I gazed outside of the window for a while, waiting for my burst of confidence to run through me. All I have to do is walk up the path, go inside, get Ellie, and walk out; It can't be that hard. I have to admit though that the concrete does look a tad bit intimidating.

I could accidentally trip, fall down and then hit my head. Then there would be a lot of blood everywhere and I would probably end up bleeding out because the ambulance would take too long. I didn't want to go out that way; it's too messy. Besides, a bunch of kids would probably see and be traumatized and then end up like me. That definitely wouldn't be good.

I wouldn't even be in this predicament if Cole didn't like Kris so much. After I told him that I was going to ride home with Kris, since she's coming over, he took that as an open invitation to tell us to pick up Ellie. Before this, Kris had no idea who Ellie was, and I liked it that way. I didn't want Kris knowing anything about me. I just want to play board games and eat Sebastio's with her.

"Do you want me to go with you?" God no. Not if you're going to be nice Kris.

So you don't want her to be nice, but you don't want her to mean either? You don't get it. How do I not get it; We are the same person. No, we are not; I am I and you are you. Whatever we don't have time for this; just go get Ellie so that we can get home faster. Just for that, I'm going to take as much time as possible.

I shook my head and unbuckled my seat belt. "No, I'm good. I'll only be a few seconds."

"Adri...it's already been ten minutes."

I got out of the car without saying anything else to her. I made sure to slam the door so she knew that I was upset.

This is one of the reasons why I don't like being around Kris. She emphasizes the fact I'm crazy. You'd think that hanging out with someone as crazy as Kristina would make me seem just a little bit more normal, but nope. Even around Kris, I was still the biggest freak in the world.

I wonder if Ellie would mind us walking home.

"Adri! Adri!" A bright orange streak squealed as they came racing towards me. I leaned down with a large smile, holding my arms out for her. She crashed into my chest and I immediately wrapped my arms around her then lifted her into the air.

The cool thing about hanging around Ellie is that I don't have to fake a smile around her. She is an amazing little girl and it kind of just...radiates off from her. She doesn't make me feel bad about myself, just good.

I have no idea how we came out of the same body.

"Hey El. You have a good day today?" As we walked outside, the concrete path didn't seem so scary anymore; A nice side effect of having Ellie around.

"Yes! I can't wait to show you everything I-, Adri, whose car is that?" Her arms tightened her around me and her voice suddenly fell to a whisper. I saw her face turn to one of fear and I immediately shook my head.

"No, no El, don't be scared. That's my friend Kris, she's coming over today." I informed her gently, and her grip loosened slightly.

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The only trace of my crazy DNA that snuck into Ellie is the fact that she is terrified of meeting new people. She loves the idea of it, but once she's actually put into action, she freezes up. It doesn't take her long to warm up to people, two hours max, but until those two hours are done, things could be kind of shaky.

"You have a friend?" Ellie asked slowly. I grimaced as soon as she said the word "friend", but still nodded. Having someone ask me that aloud made me realize how ridiculous it sounded. I wasn't used to telling people that I had a real friend, the kind that comes over to your house, and then having to say that friend is Kris made it sound even grosser.

"Okay then. Then that means that she must be great! I can't wait to meet her!" Ellie wiggled out of my arms and immediately took off towards Kris's car. She didn't go for the passenger seat though, she went to the driver's seat. Through the window, I could see Ellie hugging Kris while I just stood there dumbfounded.

I obviously can't be a Petersons.

Are you sure that you came out of Diana's body; maybe you're just the odd one out. Yes, I'm sure that I came out of my mother's body; I think that she has videos. Well, maybe you have a different dad or something. No, I'm pretty sure that my dad is my dad too; I think that the problem here is that they accidentally had another kid. Who...? You.

"Adri let's go! We're getting pizza! Kris says that it's really good pizza!" Ellie yelled at me, but I still just stood there, watching Kris buckling her in. I don't understand. Did Kris sneak her candy or something? We've told Ellie about taking candy from strangers. That's another one of the things that they tell you as a kid that you actually should listen to.

"Yeah, Adri. Let's go." And annoying and mean Kris is back. She's lucky that a child is present and that Cole remembered to tell me no biting today.

I slowly made my way to Kris's car and settled in. Now I have another problem to worry about. If I didn't die from shock by the time we got home, then Kris's driving would surely kill me.

Δ

Ellie thought it was a roller-coaster.

She thought that it was all a game and encouraged Kris to drive faster. She said that all of Kris's wild, life-threatening turns were "the most fun thing that has ever happened" to her. When Kris asked if she wanted to find a hill and go down it illegally fast, she said yes. They wanted to drag race at four different lights.

How am I the only one who got the crazy diagnosis?

"Adri, why didn't you tell me that your little sister was so much fun. And what happened to you?" Was she seriously asking me that question?

"What happened to me?! Are you serious?! I don't even drive and I know you broke 50 different traffic laws. Possibly every single one." I reminded her in a screech, and Kris gave a little fist bump. It was if that goal to start with.

We followed Ellie's trail as she ran up to the front door. Our house was nicely sized, better than average. Our parents were both important doctors, and Cole was the CEO of a company that was doing fairly well. He still lived in our parents' house with us though because our parents were gone a lot and a mentally unstable 16-year-old is unable to watch a hyperactive four-year-old.

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"You're such a buzzkill." She joked bumping her shoulder into mine, and I instantly glared at her. You can't just call me a buzzkill and then expect me to be happy with you. That's not how this works.

Cole had opened the door by the time Ellie got to it, and immediately took her into his arms. He was still wearing his suit, so I'm assuming that he just got back from work. He walked towards Kris and I, with a large smile on his face.

"Thank you for picking up Ellie for me Kris. I appreciate it." Cole thanked her, before addressing me by ruffling my hair. Excuse me but I was also in that car and I didn't try and jump out. Doesn't that deserve some kind of thank you?

"Cole! Kris is so much fun! She has to come over everyday! Kris will you come over every day?!" Ellie begged, making the infamous puppy dog face. Despite how much Kris annoyed me, I wouldn't be mad at her for saying yes, because who had the heart to tell Ellie no? Ellie's puppy dog face could make anybody do anything.

"I would love to Ellie." Kris gave her a sincere smile, and I resisted the urge to bang my head against the wall. If I get stuck with Kris every day, I will not make it through this school year. I will kill myself faster than I could be transferred.

It would be like you two are married. You're going to make me puke before I even eat. Oh come on Adrianna; you know that you like the idea. No, but I know how much I don't like the idea. Kris is right; you're a buzzkill. Blame the meds sweetheart.

Δ

"Kris the point is to get the pieces out of him. He's not supposed to make the buzzing noise." I groaned, watching her fail, again. Jesus Christ, who hasn't played Operation before.

"Adri, don't talk with your mouth full." Cole scolded and I just rolled my eyes. I had to eat faster than normal because if I didn't then Kris would take it all; she's already eaten half of a box. I mean, there are three boxes, but I'm not risking it.

"I know how to play. It's just hard." She whined and I shook my head in disappointment. She can't even play Operation? That's just unattractive. Not that I care whether or not Kris is attractive. I was just making an objective statement. That's all.

"Move aside." Ellie sighed and held out her hand to Kris. Kris hung her head before passing the tweezers over to Ellie.

Kris moved over to me and tried to rest her head on my shoulder, but I just ducked out of the way and watched her struggle to regain balance again. People that can't play Operation don't get to be my friend.

We all watched as Ellie easily took out three pieces before getting caught on her fourth. Kris watched in amazement and I threw my hands in the air.

"The girl just learned how to hold a pencil and she's better at this game then you are!" I exclaimed and Ellie's fist pumped in the air. Cole rubbed Ellie's back proudly as if she was an actual trophy.

"I'm so happy. I'd like to thank the academy and-"

"Um, Cole." I interrupted and he turned towards me.

"I think that Ellie is the one that got the achievement, not you." I reminded him slowly and Ellie looked up at him, nodding. He pouted at me and I just smiled before grabbing another slice of pizza. Slice number seven. If I don't end up slitting my throat, the amount of cheese in my system will be sure to do the job of killing me.

"Cole, I'm tired." Ellie eventually yawned, leaning back against our brother.

Cole nodded before picking her up and taking her up to her room. Kris and I said our goodnights to her, and then I laid back against the floor. I saw Kris join me and turn in my direction out of the corner of my eye.

"Did you have fun tonight?" She whispered, and I forced myself to deal with nice Kris.

"Yeah, even though you suck at playing Operation." I was able to joke through my nerves.

She chuckled and I saw her smirk. "Well, then maybe you could give me some private lessons on how to play?"

My face heated up, and my stomach turned to knots. "Kris," I warned and she immediately turned back onto her back.

She knows she's not supposed to say things like that. Doesn't she remember what happened last time?

I expected for her to say something back, a joke to play off the tenseness that I had brought on. But we stayed quiet, and it made me worry. Not that I care about Kris or anything.

I don't care about Kris. I don't care about Kris. I don't care about Kris.

"Don't make me feel like a bad person," I muttered quietly, and it was my turn to turn towards her. She didn't turn towards me though, she just continued to stare at the ceiling.

Nobody happy stares at the ceiling. The ceiling is the kind of person you talk to if you need to vent. I've talked to him a couple of times. He isn't as good of company as some people, but he is pretty okay.

"I'm not trying to. I just think that you shouldn't make assumptions in that little head of yours without giving me a chance."

"Trust me, everyone up there wants to give you a chance." And they've been quite persistent about it too.

"Then what's holding you back?" She asked, now turning towards me with a puzzled expression. I shrugged and decided to look at the wall now instead of at her because that got to be a little too difficult.

"Give me a week. A week's worth of chance." She begged, and I looked at her with hesitance.

Does she know what could happen in a week? I could die this week. I could have a nervous breakdown and decide to flush all my meds and then I would probably die. Or I could 'accidentally' fall down a flight of stairs. Or I could run away to Switzerland. Or I could slit my wrist with the razor that Cole doesn't know I have taped to the bottom of my dresser and bleed out in my bathroom.

"Give me a week to think about it."

"And then I get my week?"

"If I say yes, sure."

"You're actually going to think about it?"

"Sure, yeah."

"Okay."

"Okay."

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