"So this is it?" I turn my head to the voice.

I had been leant against my car, scrolling through my phone, waiting. Only to be interrupted in the hours of the night by Ezra.

"Yes it is. I give up Ezra. I can't be someone im not." He shrugs at my words.

"I've known you for a millennia sister. I'm not disappointed by this decision, im only happy you tried. I leave the want for your redemption to Kyrin. I've always loved you the way you are." I sigh out at his words as he joins me beside the car over the bridge.

"I'm sure your aware i adore you Ezra and that if you need me you can find me at whatever corner of the world i choose." He nods knowing the fact.

"Allow yourself happiness wherever you go Erisandre, do not grieve over this loss." Ezra speaks nonchalantly as he stares up at the sky.

"The Gods know you have suffered enough to earn joy." He continues.

"Perhaps in another life." I look to the ground, checking the time on my phone.

It was hours after moon rise, only a few until moon fall.

My heart shuddered at the fact that Klaus had yet to turn up. Apart of me doubted that he would.

"I'd like for you to do me a favour Ezra, one last one for this whole façade i have created." I place my phone away, turning to him fully.

"Anything for you dear sister. The world on a silver platter." I smile even if the pain wanted to wipe it from my face.

"Tell Nik that i waited and that everything i had said and wanted was real. Tell him that our goodbye could never console us. That it is better to hate me for leaving then loving me for staying." Maybe it was better off this way anyway.

"I'd console you if i could but I've never been able to sate your mind. I'll tell him, i promise it." I look to my brother nodding knowing he would.

"I don't expect you to wait around for a miracle that isn't going to come. Enjoy your next adventure Erisandre. May the moon bless you." And he was gone, like everything else.

I slip into the car, hyper aware that i wasn't receiving any notification from my phone. I decide to cut all ties before i relapse. Tossing the device from the window as i force the car into motion.

I can only think of home in Mystic falls as i leave it.

Wondering how it had changed me so in such a short amount of time. I wonder if im pleased by the change or scared. Neither answer greets me and i make peace with the fact.

I wish i was a vampire, to switch off the plague that is emotion but i can't. Im stuck with loss and grief and hurt. Only amplifying as i reach the town limit.

I look back for only a moment, wondering if i should turn the car around. I was already set in my decision, i knew this. We have to leave the things we love to keep them safe.

I had to separate and distance. Avoid and betray.

I had waited for Klaus, hours after the time i should have left. He never came and a part of me thanked him for making it easier to leave. I didn't feel betrayed by it. Hadn't i known all along that i was not the sort of person people chose over others?

Like i said, Klaus had to much going on there to up and move.

He and I remained different in that way.

All i knew was that fate would pull us together again. We had an eternity to share, no one said when the true love story would begin.

Equally, no one said it would be so hard.

I force the car to go faster, not knowing where i will stop.

I wonder who i will be in the next city or town or village. What person will these people have to endure? Would i care as i had here.

I look to the mirror above the dash board, forcing cool calmness into my being as i wipe the staining tears.

I think of Damon, how he had seen me crumble. I should have seen this coming. I hadn't tried peace in a millennia, it was bound to fail the first time, possibly all of the times.

i had never wanted to change for Damon, he had loved me indefinitely and i had adored him for it in return. Though for Nik i had wanted to be anything but the person i was, i wanted to be loved and cherished.

I just didn't see a future where that could happen as the person i am.

All this self loathing. Admitting im vile and exactly who my name states me to be, chaotic. War. it was time to get over the hate and be the person i would inevitably be.

A pressure is lifted as the surroundings become unfamiliar. There is a sense of excitement and passion, relief in a way. I'm no longer bound and yet i miss the bindings.

It's a harsh reality, cutting off things we find joy in. Sometimes it self sabotage and other times its for our own benefit. Differentiating this is where the difficulty lies.

Though there is no victory without risk.

That is why we must become attuned to making them, as they will forever be apart of our lives indefinitely.

I'd like to say i had taken many risks in my life, coming out stronger for each. That didn't mean i had succeeded every time, it meant that i had tried. Over and over until i did.

Why change being this person of chaos and darkness when i had created her over all these years. Surely she was the strongest i could be. The best outcome of all my possibly lives.

To change myself would be a lie.

And i had no need for them.

Time to be what the fates intended and what the sun fears.