It's five am. I'm up contemplating life decisions as a very hot man lays beside me asleep. I should be waking him up, whispering him the promise of sin and sweetness... but i'm not.

I'm thinking about who i am.

Eris Ashire.

Killer of Queens. Plague of Russia. War Incarnate.

How i had gone from stalking the woods, lurking with death and destruction. Being feared by all as i am darkness. I'd terrified and killed, maimed and tortured, all for the sake of amusement. Never lingered to long or second thought a feeling in my head or heart.

Did what was in the moment. Love who you love. Fuck to Fuck. Leave and betray.

Keep few closer and enemies dead.

My phone blares pulling me from my thoughts.

Feel like we haven't drank together for awhile. Lets fix that. I'm headed to yours. Got the good bourbon.

A smile harps at me at even the blare. He was right. We hadn't. Maybe that was why life had sucked and been stressful. I feel happy, tossing him back an equally excited message.

I'll wear my good underwear. Feel like I'm drinking to naked level tonight.

I scramble from the bed, pulling the sheets with me as i rushed to the bathroom. The handle seems to clatter open, abnormally loud. The shower is switched on after a moment.

I forgot.

I rush back into the room.

"Klaus. Hey. Nik!" I call out forcing him to blink awake.

"What?" He speaks.

"You gotta go. You've had like four hours of sleep. Your very well rested. You may leave now. I'm expecting guests." I smile brightly grabbing my tooth brush and sticking it in my mouth.

He laughs incredulously.

"Your kicking me out love? At this time in the morning?" I turn to him seriously.

"It's a decent time. And don't you have evil schemes to act upon?" He sits up. Chuckling to himself in disbelief.

"Are you always up at this time in the morning? Is this what living with you is like?" Klaus rattles to himself as i roll my eyes.

"Sleep late, wake early. I'll sleep when im dead." I scoff looking at my phone as it blares again.

Finally someone on my level. God i missed you.

Klaus is next to me within a second. Leaning over my shoulder. I allow it because why would i care?

"Damon?... Your kicking me out because damon is coming over." I turn my phone off, gift him a nod and then proceed to the bathroom.

"Erisandre i think your being harsh." I stop turning back to him.

"What ever gave you the impression that i wasn't a harsh person?" Was this what i had come to? I'd spent days fruitlessly awake trying to stop daggers and stakes entering peoples chests. Playing peace keeper Queen when i was the fucking God of War.

Im going insane thinking i can succeed. Maybe in the end ill manage peace. Nothing ever goes right and im losing. Thanks to the fucking antics I've been pulled apart from the closest friend i have.

So i wasn't going to hesitate when sending Klaus away.

This would be a good lesson.

"Listen Nik. I don't make love. I fuck. It's good, it's great but when its over it over. I like what we are doing but do not forget who you are and who i am." I shrug nonchalantly. It wasn't like reality had escaped them.

"So you spend your days protecting me for what?" I laugh brashly at his words.

"You?... Everyone Klaus. Damon. Stefan. Elena and co. You, your family and therefore mine." I list crossing my arms.

"It's more then that and you know it." I can sense his agitation in the air.

"The problem is Nik, my care for you is known. I like you, i savour things i like. I keep peace. But if you recall i never chose a side, never told you who i pick." I move closer, aware he's hyper tuned to my every word.

"When it comes to this town, you against Damon and all he holds close. I choose Damon. Every time. It's who i am as a person." I wonder if im being to harsh in my truth. If stress had gotten to me and bitten at every nerve.

"If we are offering truth I'd like to mention the fact that this little monarch act you have going on is cracking despite your ever adorable attempts." Cool collected calmness fizzles to agitation on my lips at Klaus's words.

"And yet I've sustained life that would have already been spilt." That's surely what it came down to.

"But your not made to sustain. You were created to destroy. So it wont last." Agitation is replaced by amusement.

"Maybe i'll take you down with me." I close the bathroom door, slipping the bedding off as i jump into the shower.

I don't know how long the cold water runs. Im numb and breath is shuddering from me. I turn the water to hot. Feeling my body regain feeling. Back to life and reborn again.

And then the water is scalding and im finally calm in my breath.

My temper is a bit wiry at the moment. My heart rate is up. I'm itching to get my hands dirty. Have some fun and wash away peace and comfort. I wasn't made for it but i was greedy, wanting everything when in truth.

I could barely have any of it.

But one thing, in my ever lasting burden of life. One thing always soothed and settled, remained present and caring. Damon.

The boy who would save me from a battle field.

Humanity off and on. Sorrow thick and full. Damon was always present and always understanding.

I leave the shower running as i hop out, the steam rejuvenating. I skip into the room, tossing my towel down as i walk to the wardrobe. I pull on fresh underwear stretching lazily in the mirror as i inspect my soaking hair. Wondering what i was going to do with it.

I decide nothing.

Moving back into the room where clothes still lay littered about. I rifle through, grasping a henley in decision. I throw the rest aside as i shove my hair up, the forming curls forcing water droplets to pour down my face.

I continue down stairs, where i hope i find no hybrid lurking about.

There is no sound of him, no inkling that he still lingered.

So i poured my first drink of the day, waiting for Damon to arrive.