"You can choose to ignore me. You can hate me all you want for feeling like this, because trust me I hated myself

for it at one point too. But you need to listen to me, and understand the pain I went through and put people through. And it was all because I was not trying to feel the way I was meant to feel.

Those people I hurt I loved dearly by the way."

"They gave me a chance to be me around them, and even encourage me to try and figure out what I've been trying to for the past three years. I know the people that I love still love me. It really sucks to know I put them in a place of pain, and the pain coming from someone they thought were a trusted, loving, friend."

"I'm more sorry now, then I have ever been. Because I love these three people, and I hurt them the most. Out of everyone that I hurt and shit, those three people were the ones that I needed in life, and I messed up that chance."

"Going through the process of figuring out who I liked, was hard. So, so, so, hard on me. And I put it on others.

What I'm trying to say is that, when figuring out my sexuality I hurt people, and three people that I love the most were hurt the most. And if it wasn't for them, I wouldn't be up here today telling everyone on my eighteenth birthday that I'm bisexual. Or even saying that I had a girlfriend at one point."

"Shocking, I know. But that's who I am. And one of those three people that I hurt, was y/n. And y/n was my girlfriend."

"Was. She used to be mine. Ever since I met her I felt something going on between us. And I let her down by letting people get to me. It's fucking true, we were dating and in love. But that was ruined by people and then it got to me, then I ruined it."

"I will always love her.

And I'm just sorry for letting things get to me, y/n. If you happened to show up. Or if you saw this online. Because right now I don't give a fuck who recorded and will put it out there. Because this is who I am and all that you're doing is spreading my love to everyone faster. So thanks guys."

"Just go and tell her bitch." Rich says to me, "not just leave a present and dip."

Rich and I showed up because I planned most of the thing and he also got her a gift. And it's my bab- I mean Billies big birthday, so we have to be there.

I wished Eli could have came but... I know why he couldn't.

"Tell her what? I know we kinda split up recently but happy birthday, here's a present!"

"The fuck, Richard?!" I shout loud enough so people wouldn't hear. "Just be nice."

Richard then looks down at my hand. "When did you get that?" He asks as he holds up my left hand to show my ring on my middle finger. "Recently," I say. "Well its beautiful. But it looks like something Billie would wear,"

"Really? Haven't thought about that." I lie to Rich as he eyes me down like a hawk.

"I'll leave you to it then." He responds quickly before running off to whatever the hell. I sigh in frustration.

"I see you made it." A deep voice said with a cheery tone.

I turn around to be met with a tall man standing behind me. It's Finneas.

"Yeah, I'm here." I respond. Finneas wrapped his arms around me, squeezing me into a hug.

"Thank you for even thinking about it after what happened. She would've appreciated it." He said while hugging me.

"Still leaving the present and going, right?" Finneas asked, as he steps back looking into my eyes while his hands are on my shoulders.

"Yup, yeah. That's what I'm doing." I respond calmly. "I was actually on my way before you came over." I lie to him.

"Then should I leave you to it or-" I cut him off by saying, "actually, I wanted to stay for a second to see how things planned out before I just left. So thanks for stopping me from just leaving."

I look at Rich on the other side of the room. He's talking to another man, typical. But going to find Rich wasn't why I left my eyesight from Finneas, I was looking for a birthday girl. Who I didn't want to bump into.

I was waiting for a response from Finneas, but when he wasn't saying anything I look back over to him.

He was just looking at me. It was weird but let's be honest, everything feels weird right now.

"You okay there, pal?" I question him. Finneas un-slouched and he stood up straight. His questioning glare not leaving my face. "Do you want to see Billie?" My breath hitched lightly. I didn't want to say no to seem rude,

but it would quite literally kill me if I said yes.

"Um. No it's fine, I mean she seems busy! Being the birthday girl and all!"

My voice got more high pitched as I spoke. Good going dipshit. Finneas didn't show a smile, but he did seem like he enjoyed my reaction.

"If you really don't want to see her, you don't have to see her." Finn smiles as he says that. He definitely knows now.

"No no, It's not that I don't want to see her. I could, no, I would like to see her."

Why did I just say that?! Am I stupid?!

Finneas nods his head. "Alright then." He then goes yelling for Billie.

I saw her, Billies head lifting up towards Finneas' direction.

I started to get super fucking nervous and sweaty, but thank god you can't see because of how dark and red it is in here.

When I saw Billie starting to walk over to my direction without actually noticing me, I started to fiddle with the present in my hand. Billie and her short fucking legs better not walk super fast over here because I'm not ready to see her!

"What do you want Finn I-" Billie paused. "Oh, hey y/n."

"Hi Billie." I waved slightly with the present in hand and a card in the other. "This is for you," I handed her the card,

Billies hand touching mind as she takes it. The touch of her hand on mine sending electricity through my body.

I didn't want to give her the present just yet, but she already seems happy with the card.

Billie smiles as she holds it. She looks like a little kid on Christmas, so cute.

Finneas was watching the whole thing unfold. He looked over to Billie once she reached the card and smiled when she did. Billie ripped open the card and read it. A huge smile formed on her face as she did.

Billie looked up, "Can I hug you?" She asks as she hands Finneas the card.

My hands got sweaty just thinking about it. "Sure" I almost stutter. Bil wrapped her small arms around me, and I do the same with mine. This hug felt right, but it ended when she pulled away and went standing back with her brother.

Then they both looked at me.

"Hope you like it, gotta find Rich though-" "Rich is here?!" She shouts with excitement. I nod my head with a slight awkward smile. This bitch wasn't that excited when she saw me! What the fuck!!!

"Can you take me with you! He was the first one to say happy birthday and I want to give that bitch a hug bro!"

Billie shouts with even more excitement. I nod my head again as I lead my way to Rich. Billie following close behind like a little kid trying not to get lost in a big place. It was actually a good idea to keep her close because she was indeed a kid in a big place. Look at her size and the size of the place! Come on! She would get lost inside a McDonald's for Christ sake! Five feet and three inches my ass, more like fucking four feet.

I take my left hand out and grab hers. Like I just ranted, this bitch gets lost easily.

I look over to find a pink tinted Billie, smiling happily as we trotted along. Billie stopped, dragging my pace down and taking me to a stop. "When did you get this?" Billie asks. Oh not her too!

"Recently," I respond quick. "Oh okay, it just looks cool." She continues to walk and so do I.

As we walk slower this time to Rich, Billie plays with the ring with her hand.

This reminded me of some happy times I had with her.

Like that time we went to the beach, or when she colored my hair, or even when we just sat on the roof of her house and talked for hours, never going inside. I liked all of those memories, even more now that we kinda split and that's all I really have.

Even brings me back to our first times together, and boy did I enjoy those. I fucking relived every second of those when she came back and it felt right again. Until we split. I still love her of course, I don't think I can't love her. Gosh, I miss her so much, I miss the days before she had to worry so much about those mean assholes in the world.

"Hey Rich! I found a child!" I yelled to him. Rich eyes me down with confusion before his eyes landed on Billie and a huge smile formed on his face. Rich smiled even more when his eyes went down to our locked hands.

Billie noticed and got all red, then let go of my hand and gave Rich a huge hug. "I missed you, my love!" Rich said sweetly to the other girl. A little sweet noise came from the younger girl in response, a little aw came next.

"Thank you so much Rich!" Billie says as Rich hands her a wrapped box.

"I wrapped it myself." Rich states. "Wrong, I did it." I cut it. Got Rich's bitch ass.

"Can you let me have one thing!" The taller man shouts in pretend anger. I shrug as I hand Billie my present.

"Oh, y/n. You didn't have to get me something other than a card." Billie tries to deflect the thoughtful action, but I simply protest and egg her on to open it in that very moment.

"Fine Fine," Billie gives in and sets Richards present down. She holds the smaller gift in her hands now, waiting to see if she can guess what's inside the dinky little box. Bil then unwraps the wrapping from the box and sets the trash down as it's now just a simple looking jewelry box.

"Did you buy my a necklace?" Billie asks in curiosity. I quietly shake my head "no" while saying, "open it to find out."

Billie lifts up the little top to the box, revealing the little handwritten note folded on top of the actual gift.

Rich just in front of the smaller girl looks at me with caution, "what did you get?" The man mouthed to me.

"You'll see," I mouth back, purposely holding my left hand up to my face.

Billie looks up at me before taking the note off, the present still not being able to be revealed just yet.

Bil hands me the present as she goes to read the note.

The words, "I hope she likes it," replays in my head for a while as the singer is still trying to open the note.

"God I hope she likes it." I keeps saying to myself.

This present could go so wrong for me. And oh my god I feel a little light headed.

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