First, I have to apologize. Again. A mental break from everything was needed and I wasn't even on wattpad. A few days ago, some shit went down and I had to mentally prepare myself for it. (I saw this "luke" for the first time in 4 months, to sort everything out). Also it was my birthday and I didnt have time to update then.

Then, there's one more thing. What's the point of reading the entire book and leaving hate comments? If you don't like it, leave it. I just don't seem to get the point here. I don't care about it, really, it still gives me extra reads so knock yourself out :)

Also how the hell did this book get to 1k votes?!?! I never imagined getting 10, let alone 1k votes! Thank you guys so so so so so much for this. I love you so much

***

Jack looks at me confused and then quickly crosses his arms on his chest. "What do you mean?" He smiles at me and I walk towards him, grabbing his arm and look at the cuts.

"What the fuck is this Jack!" I cry out and he hugs me. This should've been the other way around. How could he do this? How could he do this without telling me he's struggling? I'm the worst friend ever.

My poor Jack is cutting. And I don't think there's anything I can do to make him stop, by the looks of his hands. They are in a terrible state - more cuts than skin. They're deep too. I need to help him. I've been at this point before in my life. I know how he feels. I just don't know why.

I look at his teary eyes, "why?" I whisper and he kisses my head, "don't worry about it," he chuckles and that's when I lose it.

I grab his shoulders, "why is everyone hiding everything from me?! Just tell me what the fuck is wrong Jack! I care about you, I really do, so please just tell me what's wrong so I can help you fix it. Whatever it is it's not worth it. So stop telling me not to worry about it because it won't make me not worry about y-" I start screaming and he shuts me up by kissing me.

I move away from shock, but quickly I kiss him back, jumping on him. So many different emotions fly through me that it's hard to determine which ones are they. The butterflies are going crazy in my stomach as he kisses me passionately and aggressively. One thing I know for sure - I want him all over me.

He pushes me gently against the wall and starts sucking on my neck. I moan lowly into his ear, making him groan. Running my fingers through his hair, I lean my head back from the amazing feeling spreading everywhere in me.

This is so so wrong. I'm cheating on Luke for fuck's sake! But it feels so right being here with Jack. All over him. Touching him. It feels so good.

Then I realise that he's wearing a towel. Only. A. Towel. Holy shit what if it falls off? I wonder how big his di-

What the hell am I thinking about?

His dick apparently.

Oh shut up.

My mind then goes blank when he grabs my butt, lifting me up. I wrap my legs around his waist while kissing him gently.

He lays me down on his bed, hovering over me. I feel his lips traveling from my neck, down to my breasts. He starts taking my pants off and that's when it hits me.

"Stop!" I yell, pushing him off. I just cheated on Luke. I'm a cheater. Oh no no no no. Jack looks at me, confused, "I-I'm sorry, I thought this is what you wanted," he whispers. Then, he puts on his pants.

I curl into a ball and start crying. Jack rushes towards me and sits next to me. "It's okay Emmy. You didn't do anything wrong," he hugs me and I lean into him.

This is such a mess. I should've helped him with his cuts. Instead, he's the one helping me with my mental breakdown. Look at him. He looks so worried about me and he didn't even do anything wrong. It's my fault. I came to his dorm and kissed him back. I let him know it's okay to kiss me and do all sorts of things to me.

"No," I say.

"What do you mean 'no'?" He lifts an eyebrow and I inhale. "We're not making this about me. I saw your cuts and you're gonna tell me why are you doing this to yourself," I say and he stops hugging me.

He stands up, "I think you should leave."

"W-wait what?" I stand up, anger building up inside of me.

"I said-" "I know what you said!" I interrupt him. "I don't get it? Why do I have to leave?"

"You just have to."

"Tell me!"

"No."

"Tell me Jack for fuck's sake!" I yell at him.

"I fucking can't okay!" He yells back, definitely louder than me. I jump back a bit and nod. I grab my bag and storm out of the dorm.

"Emma wait!" I hear him behind me but I don't care. I just keep on walking. He won't play with me like that. No one will. All I did was try to help him, but apparently he doesn't need my help. Or he doesn't want it. Either way, he doesn't want me there.

A hand touches my shoulder and I jump, turning around. It's Jack. "What, Jack. What do you want?" I sigh.

"I don't want to tell you cause I don't want you to think anything bad of yourself. Ever. And it's all my fault," he says, tears gathering in his eyes. "But most of all, I don't wanna lose you, Emmy. Ever. Because you are the best friend I could've ever asked for, Emmy. I mean, who wouldn't get annoyed by my jokes by now? Only you. I love you so so so much Emmy. And I don't-" he breaks down and I quickly hug him.

"So the cuts are my fault? You're doing this because of...me?" I say after a moment of silence. His head falls down and he starts crying even more. He hugs me tightly and I do the same. I grab his head and make him look at me with his red, teary eyes.

"Oh no Jack. Stop this right now. You won't do this because of me. Do you understand?" He looks away, tears rolling down his face.

"I can't," he whispers. "He has you and doesn't even deserve you! And I've wanted you for so so long Emmy. You have no idea. I just wish you'd feel the same." He looks at me and then continues, "and then that fucker has to gloat. I just want you to realize how much better off you'd be with me. I'd actually take care of you and not freak out over your guy friends. Because I know you're not like that. And I know that somewhere inside, you know you'd be better off with me. But I'm not gonna push you. If you wanna be with me then I'm here. If you don't, I'll still be here," he wipes his tears.

I'm speechless. I just stare at him. He realizes that there won't be an answer, so he turns around and leaves.

I should go after him. But I don't. I turn around too, and walk away. I don't know where I'm going and I certainly don't care.

As I walk, with no destination, a car rushes towards me. A very familiar car. With an even more familiar face.

Luke?

And Dylan next to him?

What is this?

I dial his number and call him. No answer. I mean, if he isn't planning on being home, then I'll sleep there. He gave me a spare key anyways so it's not breaking in. Right?

After a few minutes, I arrive to his apartment. I step in and stumble back from shock. There are broken chairs laying all over the living room and there's a broken table. It looks like someone hit it with a fist. Slowly, I walk in and look around me. There's a hole in a wall too! What happened here?

Has Luke been robbed? But the thing is, nothing seems to be missing or misplaced - except for the broken chairs.

I send him a text that his place has been wrecked and get to bed. It was a long day so I really don't want to think about the possibility of Luke doing all of this. Quickly, I drift off to sleep.

*

A loud bang wakes me up. I look at the clock. 3AM.

Another thud. I get up and look for something to defend myself with, just in case the robber decided to come back. Looking around the room, I try to find something. I grab a hanger, since that's the only thing in my room.

Slowly, I go downstairs and look around, trying to locate the robber. A bottle falls on the floor and I jump. Quickly, I start hitting the person with the hanger.

"Ouch Emma! What the fuck?" Someone groans and I stop. I turn on the light.

Oh. Luke.

"Where were you?" I ask him as he stumbles onto the couch, drunk. Of course he is.

"None of yo business," he groans, trying to sleep. I roll my eyes and turn the light off. Just as I head upstairs I hear him mumble something.

"Em," he murmurs.

"Yeah?"

"I wanna tell you a story," he says and I look at him, confused. I turn the light back on.

"Turn it off," he says and I do so. I can see his shadow sit up, so I sit next to him.

"Let me tell ya, what a fuck up my family is," he chuckles. Is this it? I'm finally about to hear the story behind his dad leaving him. I have a feeling this will be a sad night. Sadder than it already is.

***

Sorry for a short chapter but I really wanna save the talk for the next one. It's not gonna be easy and it will be a lot.

I just want to thank you guys for still reading the book even though it wasn't updated in like 3 weeks and i apologize for it once more. I'll try to update more, now that "luke" is out of my life, finally and the tests have stopped coming in for a week or so. So I'll try to write as much as possible.

Vote and comment if u liked it! Love ya