A quick note: chapter 30 will be written in Jack's POV ;)

I apologize again, for not posting and thank you for understanding

The chapters may take longer for me to write, since this book was kind of based on my relationship. I feel weird and sad writing about this now, but I will finish it. I can promise you that. It just will take longer. I'm just really hurt and disappointed in what happened and I'm feeling as if the breaking up is still happening and it just won't ever stop. If that makes sense? Also, thank you for all the kind messages. I really love you guys

***

"Let me help you, Em," Luke grabs my bags, putting them into the bottom part of the bus, before I could refuse. I thank him and we go on the bus.

"Where should we-" "Lukey!! Come here and sit with me!" Nicki practically shouts and I look at Luke, who just rolls with his eyes. "I wanna sit with you. Don't worry about that bitch," he whispers in my ear, making me smile. I nod and he takes me to a seat, somewhere in the back.

"I need you to be taller, so I can sleep on your shoulder," Luke jokes and I smile, "Well thank god you're taller, because I'm sleeping on you," I lean my head on his shoulder.

"And also, I'm 5'6, which is pretty tall if you ask me," I look at him and he shakes his head, "Well I'm 6'1 so that means you're small," he smirks and I roll my eyes. "But at least you won't have to squat down when you're sucking my dick," he adds and I gasp. He laughs and pushes my head on his shoulder, so I'm leaning on it again.

"Idiot," I smile and close my eyes.

"Only for you," he kisses my head and I chuckle. I really like this side of him. The soft and sweet side. I hope he'll stay like that for longer periods of time.

He offers me one of his earbuds and I take it, putting it in my ear. I keep my eyes closed, as Bryson Tiller fills up my ears. We both start humming the song at the same time, making us chuckle.

"You're so adorable," he says after a while, making me blush. "I'm really not," I laugh. I'm not the type of girl who would say, 'I'm not pretty omg,' just to have people tell her how pretty she is. I just don't find myself attractive.

"Shut up," he rolls his eyes, holding my hand.

I lift my head, now looking at him. "Make me," I gulp and he fires his gaze at me, a smirk painting on his face. "Is that so?" he whispers, his voice low, slowly closing the space between us. He crashes his lips against mine and I can practically feel the looks burning into the back of my head. I didn't really care about it though.

"Since when does Luke kiss his girls?" Mostly everyone was whispering to eachother.

What does that even mean? He isn't gay now is he?

As he pulled away, my face was completely red, making him chuckle. He grabs my head with both of his hands, kissing me on the forehead. I smile at the small but meaningful gesture and lean my head on his. This ride is great so far.

"Lukey come here please, I need you!" An obnoxious voice is heard through the bus. Well nevermind what I said before about this ride being great. He rolls his eyes, "wait here, I'll be right back," he whispers and I nod.

But he didn't come back.

After a while, I stand up, looking, where he went. I see Nicki's head on Luke's shoulder. I slowly sit down, tears gathering in my eyes.

Ahh jealousy. Here you are, my old friend. Jealousy probably is the worst feeling I've ever felt. The feeling that makes you think, that you're not good enough. That someone else will take your place, because they're so, so much better than you. It makes you feel as if you're nothing and no one to that person. More specifically, you'll never be as important as her. You'll never, ever be good enough. You'll always be the second place. The second choice he'll be running to, when she doesn't want him.

That's all you are Em. The second choice.

I want to go home. I knew I shouldn't have came on this trip. Now I'll have to look at them being all lovey dovey in front of me.

I decide to ignore them and all of my instincts to cry and put on headphones, drowning myself in Billie Eilish.

Isn't it lovely?

All alone.

Heart made of glass,

My mind of stone.

Oh yes it's very lovely Billie. Just fucking great.

Damn. Luke's swearing is really wearing off on me.

When the song ends I feel a presence next to me, so I open my eyes and a worried Jack is sitting next to me. He hugs me and I do the same. I put my headphones off and look at him, smiling. At least I won't be bored.

"Hey Emmy. Why isn't Luke with you?" He raises an eyebrow. Huh I'm wondering that too, Jack.

"I don't know. Nicki needed him an hour ago and he hasn't came back until then," I shrug, trying to give him a careless smile, but fail miserably. Of course he notices that it's bothering me and hugs me.

"I'll keep you company then," he smiles and I smile back at him, nodding.

"What 'cha listening to?" He takes my earbuds, putting them in his ear. He immediately frowns when he hears Billie Eilish. "Really? This depressing music?" He sighs and I draw my eyebrows together, "Hey! Billie is awesome!" I cross my eyes, acting as if I'm mad at him.

Of course he knows I'm not really angry with him, so he starts pushing it, with a smirk on his face, "I mean she's really not awesome. Have you seen the way she dresses?"

Wow. I'm actually offended. I never thought Jack would be like that.

"First of all, she's an amazing singer and an artist and the way she dresses is none of your concern. Her style is great though so I don't know what's up with you," I roll my eyes and he laughs at me, "I know. I'm just messing with you," he winks and I slap him.

Thank God he's joking or else we'd have a serious problem.

I quickly glance at Luke and Nicki. She's holding his phone, while he's asleep. I feel a tight feeling in my chest and quickly look away. That's what I get for getting way too happy, way too quickly. I should've known this was going to happen sooner or later. And the fact that he lets her be on his phone when they're not dating, meanwhile we're kind of dating and he won't let me, really hurts.

"Hey, cheer up! We're going skiing for fuck's sake," Jack nudges me and I smile, looking down. He cups my cheek, turning my head towards him. "Don't mind them. If he doesn't want to be in your company then it's his loss. I'll keep you company here, don't you worry about that," he winks and I hug him.

A tear escapes my eye but I quickly wipe it. I was so tired from everything, that's why I just fell asleep.

"Em, wake up. We're here," a soft voice whispers, nudging me.

I open my eyes and I see Luke, looking at me, smiling.

I roll my eyes and get up. When I get to the trunk, to take out my luggage, Luke puts his hand on my shoulder, turning me around. "What's wrong?" He raises an eyebrow and I just sigh, turn around, grabbing my luggage.

"So this is where you'll be staying," the teacher shows us the two cabins. "Sleep wherever you'd like. If you get pregnant, it's not my fault. We'll be skiing tomorrow. Have some sleep," he shrugs and goes to a separate cabin, where the teachers are.

Luke finds me and stands in front of me, "where will we sleep?" He asks and I sigh.

"I don't wanna sleep in the same room with you," I give him an awkward smile, trying to go to a cabin but he stops me. "The fuck does that mean?" He says in a rough voice. It's visible that he didn't like my response.

"I don't feel comfortable," I smile and he draws his eyebrows together. I'm confusing him. I don't know why. He was the one with a different girl. Not me.

"Didn't we sleep in the same bed like two days ago?" He looks at me, challenging. Yeah we did Luke. But you were literally with some other girl.

"Weren't you with Nicki like a few minutes ago?" I hiss and he sighs when I hit his shoulder with mine, going past him.

"Her father died," he says.

Sure he did. And what about her goldfish? She dead too? Ugh.

"Uh okay," I keep on walking. I dont believe her one bit. She'd do anything to be next to Luke. Such a bitch.

"What's that supposed to mean? How can you be so heartless? She just lost her dad for fuck's sake!" He exclaims and I've had it. Of her and of him. They're meant for eachother I guess.

"And you fucking believe her? Open your eyes Luke! She likes you! No shit she's gonna lie about something like that, just to have you close! You really are fucking stupid sometimes," I yell at him and go to my room, locking it.

I meant every single thing I said to him. I mean, it really wouldn't be crazy if she did that.

He starts banging on the door, saying to let him in.

I give up after a few minutes and open the door. He rushes inside, closing it behind him. He grabs me, pushing me against the door, getting dangerously close. "You are insane, if you think I have any interest in anyone, that isn't you," he growls into my ear, nibbling on it.

My legs feel like goddamn noodles.

But today, he's not having any control over me. I'll be the one in control.

I grab his shirt, pulling him even closer to me, "she was on your fucking shoulder," I hiss into his ear and I can feel the shivers going down his spine. "So don't fucking tell me these bullshit stories," I add nibbling on his neck, making him moan a little. I grin, knowing I'm succesfull.

"Y-you know.. I could never look at another woman the way I look at you, right?" He breathes, barely holding back.

I push him off of me and on the bed. "Now you won't ever tell me I'm insane. You got it?" I growl and he nods quickly. He's afraid and turned on. That's good.

He pulls me on top of him, kissing me hungrily, "it turns me on so much, when you're being all bossy," he purrs and I get a weird tingly feeling, literally everywhere.

"But you see, the thing is," he whispers and then turns us around, so now he's hovering over me, "I will always be in control," he kisses my neck slowly and I moan a bit.

Shit shit shit. I can't give in!

He's rubbing his junk against me and it's really turning me on. As we kiss like that, someone knocks on the door.

Luke quickly jumps off of me. The door opens and a teacher is standing there. He quickly realises what just happened and it makes him very uncomfortable, very quickly. "Uhm, just wanted to say that dinner is ready," he says and quickly closes the door.

I look at Luke, who looks very annoyed right now.

"You hungry?" I ask him and he nods, "but can we just wait a second?" He asks me, looking down at his groin and I laugh, nodding.

After two minutes, we leave the room and go to the dining room. We eat and come back.

"So I can sleep here now, right?" Luke asks and I nod. He goes to the bathroom, to take a shower. Thank God every room has their own bathroom.

As he's showering, I can't help but notice how his phone, which he left on the cupboard, is blinking constantly. I glance at it and it's new snaps coming in every few seconds.

Can I take a look? It can't hurt him or me, if he isn't hiding anything. Right?

I take the phone from the cupboard and luckily it's not password protected. I open snapchat and what I see makes me gasp.

It's just girls. I scroll down and still only see girls. I open a snap and it's a picture of someone's breasts. I open another one and it's a picture of someone's ass.

Wow. That's a new low Luke.

My heart sinks lower and lower, when I open a few more snaps and all of them are nudes.

I quickly get off of his phone and put it where I found it. A tear escapes my eye and I quickly wipe it.

Luke walks out of the bathroom, "Hey, what's wrong?" He quickly walks to me, but I push him away. "Just find yourself a new room," I sigh and another tear rolls down my cheek.

"What did I do?" He draws his eyebrows together, trying to figure it out. He knows what happened. He's just playing dumb.

"Leave!" I scream and push him away. I start crying when he turns to look at me one more time and leaves.

***

So Luke's a cheater huh? Did you expect that or do you think it's something else?

Comment and vote if you liked the chapter!! I love you guys so much and I apologize once more for not updating :(

Thank you