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Restless nights became a small routine after Tooru's spiel about his sudden encounter with Tetsu's biological mother. The idea of it made you queasy and you have no clue where your situation could go, or what her real intentions are.

No matter how much you didn't want to, you figured it would be better to be a civilized woman and to accept her offer. After receiving her number from Tooru, you and Rina exchanged texts to meet at a coffee shop in the middle of Tokyo before your night shift at the bakery.

With your finger tracing the rim of the clay mug, you stared down at your own reflection on the flat surface of your coffee, contemplating if it's too late for you to stand and make a run for it.

You've lost your chance to make an escape once you heard the hostess from the front to greet a customer at the door, aiming your eyes up to find a dark haired woman entering the shop in a searching manner.

It's her.

The white ribbed-knit oversized sweater hung off from her thin shoulder over tight black jeans. The clicking from her Steve Madden's Ida black sandals grabbed people's attention within her vicinity and they were mesmerized by her glaring presence.

"Are you, [Name]?" the woman's soft voice spoke as she approached your table and you stood up from your chair to give her a proper greeting.

"Yes, and you are..."

"Shigashi Rina," she slightly bowed her head. Her wispy bangs fell forward and she flipped her curled hair back from her face when straightening her posture. "But please call me 'Rina'."

From remembering the photo you accidentally saw on the first night you came over, you just knew pictures didn't do her justice. Because, like Tooru, they're a lot more beautiful in person. Her long black hair was cut into a chin-length bob and bangs slightly pushed to the side of her forehead.

The prominent red lipstick contrasted her white skin very well, so bold and vibrant. The black faux choker she wore elongates her slim neck, giving her a feminine yet grungy look.

She is hands-down beautiful. Now that you think about it, you can speculate some features of Tetsu's face on her. Sadly, she is indeed his mom. That small fact already ignited an unpleasant feeling within you and your heart clenched in envy.

"Tooru is right. You're really cute." You took notice of her statement. She also calls him by his first name and you wondered if they're that close. "And here I thought, he would have a hard time finding someone."

You gave a nervous chuckle while taking your seat again - wasn't sure if that last part of her sentence was directed at him or to you. She joined and sat on the chair across from you. "Not at all. It's no surprise that you're beautiful."

"You're so sweet," she smiled, and you thought angels were about to sing when her lips curled upwards.

She hummed and ordered herself tea from the waitress who neared you two. Lacing her hands together, Rina rested her chin over her bed of fingers to examine your stiff form.

"[Name], huh? I heard a lot about you from him," she started, her deep gray eyes studying you carefully and you felt yourself shiver underneath her blank stare. "He said you're a baker."

"Y-Yeah, I have my own business," you answered uncomfortably. What else did Tooru tell her?

She clicked her tongue in distaste and unraveled her fingers. "Aw, I'm so jealous. Baking is so tedious. You must be really good at it if you have your own shop."

You didn't know what else to say, but all you can think of is how polite she is which it's a contrary to the person that Tooru spoke to you about. It is hard to believe that this is the same person who decided to leave Tetsu.

"I'm sorry. I'm not good at small talks," you admitted in embarrassment, realizing that you were taking too long to make a reply.

Rina laughed softly, unbothered by your speechless form. "I understand. I'm the one who brought you here in the first place."

The waitress soon delivered the mug of hot tea along with a pot of sugar and miniature silver kettle to your table. Rina sipped on the cup after she left, leaving a faint stain on the rim from her coated red lips. You also took a shy sip from your brown coffee that is now lukewarm.

"Erm, not to sound rude but is there something you want to talk to me about - in particular?" you decided to cut to the chase. Not like you were impatient, but you weren't going to pretend that this isn't a meeting. Also, you do have work later on.

Instead of stalling, she nodded and placed her mug on the saucer. "You're right. Well, I came here to ask if I can see my son."

Your lips tightened at those words - the words 'my son' in specific, but you were more baffled at the thought that she would ask you for permission.

"Wouldn't that be up to Tooru to decide?" you questioned lightly.

"It's not that simple, you see," she uttered quietly. "I'm sure you are currently the mother figure in Tetsu's eyes. I still want to give my respects to you for taking care of him, and your relationship with Tooru."

Blinking, her consideration of you is out of your expectations. Here, you thought, she's the evil mother yet she is proving your assumptions wrong.

Your head tilted to the side. "Does Tooru have a say in this?"

She blew a breath. Her finger chased the wooden stirrer in her hot mug. "He said it's up to you whether you want me to see him or not," then she sighed.

Surprised, you didn't expect to hold that power. It wasn't much of a shock to you though, but you were glad that Tooru gave you the first call.

"There's something I want to ask you," you began while cradling your coffee mug in your hands. "Why did you leave them? And why did you decide to come back? After five long years."

A bold question that was; Rina's expression remained stagnant like a still doll. But her head lowered to glower at the tea as you felt solemn reading through her hued eyes - as if your words touched a sensitive nerve in her.

Her bony fingers pushed her cup an inch away from her, signaling that she was done sipping on the beverage. She didn't refuse but she was hesitant to tell a delicate story.

Finally, she gave in.

"I wasn't ready, of course. At twenty-one years old, I felt scared to be responsible for someone else's life. I didn't have a job nor wasn't in school. I only had my father to support me so I couldn't bare to let him take care of my problems - on top of supporting a newborn. That's why I suggested to abort Tetsu so early on. That way, we both don't have to worry or have any attachments."

"But Tooru convinced you otherwise," you added, knowing how the rest of that story goes.

"And I don't hold anything against him for that," Rina quickly and softly declared. "It was a hassle and an absurd idea to go through a pregnancy I didn't want. We were both selfish in our own ways. I was embarrassed, really. I would never want to raise a child in that way. Tooru... He was so... optimistic that I felt so ashamed of myself. I couldn't face my own insecurities. So that's why I left."

"She's not important."

Tooru's words rang through your ears from the moment you found her picture, buried deep in his photo album. The memory reminded you that he held some sort of resentment towards her, for leaving him. It explained why he sounded like that.

"Then, one day, my father caught sick and never gotten better," Rina grew quieter at the statement, voice trembling just slightly but you can manage to hear the despair in her. "It wasn't too long ago that he passed away. He was the only family I had until...," she swallowed, pressing her lips together to rub the remaining lipstick on her. "I realized that I wasn't alone, at least not yet."

"You left him," you simply retorted without a trace of anger. "He needed you."

"There's a lot of things that I've done in the past, but I'm here to make it right," just like you, she retorted back with the same confidence. Then, her head lowered sadly. "I know... I can never take it back. It haunts me every day. I want to fix my mistakes and do what I can to make everything right and just be there for him."

Damn... You hated it. Hearing her speaking so honestly made you feel so guilty for even painting her as a bad person. Suddenly, you felt empathetic for her and also disappointed in yourself for being so pessimistic.

"I'm really sorry if this is so sudden for you and it is unfair of me to ask you such a thing," she went on. Her voice coming back to normal to give a bold and encouraging expression. "But I would like to reconnect with my son again. At this point, now, he's all I got."

Rina wasn't asking, but almost begging. Do you blame her for wanting to see her child? After long years of coping with personal issues, she finally came to understand her role. And just like Tooru, they're both human. All that you could is a broken woman.

But what will happen to you if she came into the picture?

A scary thought that is, you didn't dare to think further.

"I'm sorry for what happened," you let out gently, giving her your deepest condolences.

She blinked her tears away by your wishful thinking, and uttered her gratitude to you. As she cleared her throat, Rina brought the warm tea to her lips again to mask her sadness.

"How is he?" she started the conversation again after a second of collecting herself. "Tetsu, I mean."

You gave a hum, tapping your finger onto the brown wooded surface just by thinking about Tooru's child. A warming smile plastered your lips when you heard his echoing voice calling out your name, your mommy name. Both him and Tooru are the closest things you call 'home'.

"He is..." you sighed blissfully, "the greatest child you can ask for."

Your expression said it all and her questions aren't needed to know more about him. There's nothing much to say than that. Instead, Rina's eyes trembled in relief at you like she wanted to break down and cry.

"I'm so glad." The joy in her voice didn't go unnoticed, and you can feel the truth in her tone.

"Rina, I'm sorry but can I think about it?" It wasn't the exact answer she wanted, but it is better than you refusing.

So she nodded, "Take all the time you need."

>>>

The night was slow than you anticipated. Work didn't help you take your mind off of your early evening with Rina and her plans to make amends with Tetsu. You were deeply worried for him and how he will react to meeting her. The situation is already confusing than it is.

It was already close to midnight when Tooru came to pick you up from work and you were surprised to find the smaller Oikawa in the back seat of his jeep, anticipating for you to return home. His dad was already standing by your car door to open it for you.

"Mommy! Mommy! I'm here," Tetsu shouted from the rolled-down window before you swung yourself into the passenger seat.

"Baby, aren't you sleepy?" you turned your head back to him to make sure he was buckling himself up properly. "It's late."

He smiled, "I came with Daddy to protect you from monsters. I promised to sleep right away when we come home."

Emerged in compassion, you couldn't argue with the little boy. Soon, Tooru slid behind the wheel and fastened himself, already smirking at your way before he gave you a welcoming kiss. His seatbelt stretched when he leaned to your seat and then winded back so he can start driving.

"If he's fussy tomorrow morning, that's not on me," you warned half-jokingly.

He gave a soothing chuckle. "Don't worry. I'll handle him if he is."

It didn't take long for you three to arrive at the penthouse. Carrying Tetsu in your arms was no problem despite the long day you had. He instantly fell asleep against your neck the minute you hoisted him up, battling his sleepiness just so he can stay up with you.

Unfortunately, he didn't stay awake for long.

Tooru obliged to hold him while you situated yourself upon entrance, removing your shoes and chef coat off your shoulders to throw it in the hamper in another room. When you came back, the famous athlete gestured his head down at Tetsu, signaling that he was going to tuck him into bed while you went ahead and changed out of work clothes.

After a brief shower, you didn't find Tooru sitting in his usual spot on the bed so you searched for him throughout the penthouse. It didn't take long. His back was visible when you peeked through the patio door, sliding it open to greet him outside and the chilly air.

But you noticed something that caught your eye.

"You smoke?" you stared at the white stick in between his fingers that's not lit up.

The man didn't budge other than eying you sideways and aiming back at the cigarette, examining it carefully before he blew a long sigh.

"I used to," he muttered, twirling the roll of tobacco through his fingers. "I stopped when Tetsu was born."

When you joined him by leaning against the rails of the balcony, your hand reached for his wrist - the one that his hand is holding onto the cigarette. Then he slowly turned to you and you can witness the stress and temptation written in his brown pools.

He must be so overwhelmed with Rina entering back into his life.

"Hey," you said tenderly to ease his longing stare and, at the same time, trying to pull the cigarette away from his grasp. He reluctantly loosened his fingers, allowing you to take it and tossing it over the balcony to whever it landed in the middle of the city.

"What's wrong?" You carefully asked while wrapping your arms around him torso.

His hands rubbed up against arms and rubbed them with the brush of his thumbs. His eyes read worry. "What did she say to you?"

A question with a question, Tooru must've thought about your meet up with Rina the whole day. Squiggling your mouth, you obviously didn't want to be reminded about today, so you glowered yourself stare down at his stomach.

"Of course, she wants to meet Tetsu," you answered.

"And what did you say?"

You paused, "I told her, 'I'll think about it'."

Feeling his shoulders drop, Tooru almost looked disappointed but even more curious as to why you would wouldn't refuse.

"What's keeping you from saying 'no'?" He knew you wanted refuse, just by telling the way you weren't looking at him in the eyes.

A sigh escaped from your lips, feeling already defeated into the conversation. "Because... Tetsu is still her son, Tooru."

There was a moment of silence before he conjured a reply back. He couldn't argue with that fact. Technically, you're not officially Tetsu's mom yet.

"That's what I thought at first too," he said. "At least, Tetsu should have the right to know his mom while she's still here."

You agreed. Although, you didn't like that she's coming back. The real question is; is it really your decision to make that choice?

You'd rather just give her the benefit of the doubt despite how much you wanted to protect your little world of just Tooru and Tetsu. That would be your only regret is not letting her have that chance, and having Tetsu not ever knowing his mom.

And what kind of person are you to not allow her to see him? It's not like he is officially your child. She has every right to try to co-parent, right? Plus, she owes Tooru child support, too.

"Everything will be alright," Tooru hugged you tighter in his arms. "We may not know until we try, and figure it out together."

Burying your head deeper into his chest, you did you best not shed a single tear by thinking of your biggest fear.

"I'm just scared he will forget me," you uttered in a shaky voice.

But his hand patted your head, stroking through your hair and cradled your head in his head while he pressed his lips against it in assurance.

"He won't. I promise."

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Posted: 06-18-21

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