Soojins Pov

She's back.

The only person who knows about what happened is miyeon, and I'm guessing Minnie aswell.

Thinking about Minnie flying to shuhua angers me, different scenarios play in my head. Could she be part of the reason?

No, Shuhua wouldn't do that to me. But nothing makes sense to me right now. I just want to know what I did, because I don't believe that excuse she told me.

You're not good enough that's why she left.

I shake my head angrily. I take a deep breathe in, I am good enough. I am good enough I repeat to myself and if she can't see that than that's her loss. But it still hurts.

It doesn't help that our schedule is insane, where either promoting or on stage. Workings helped me not think about everything but her face is everywhere, the perks of living and working together.

The night I saw her in the kitchen I was happy she was back, even after everything I still love her, I hate it. I'm hurt, broken, but even so her just being around puts me at ease and misery at the same time, why am I like this.

That same night I went back into my old room to grab the rest of my things. I looked at my bed and could tell she had been sleeping there. I felt mixed emotions, an overwhelming sense of sadness mainly.

But can I blame her for being scared, we've worked so hard for this. Am I selfish to wish she picked me, but I'm struck with anger thinking about it, she knew the risk so did I but that never stopped us. if she was so scared of her career why would she chase me for that long nothing makes sense.

Why is everything so Fucken complicated.

Text message

Manager: vlive today you, you, shuhua and miyeon.

I haven't spoken to shuhua the entire time she's been back.

To manager: can shuhua and miyeon do it without me.

Manager: sorry soojin but you haven't done one for a while and the fans want to see you.

To manager: when

Manager: dance room 30mins

I roll my eyes and don't reply, I'm starting to get anxiety at the thought of having to interact and be near her. But this is my job I can't let my personal life effect my career.

I make way to where he said, and through the door I see her. Sitting on the ground her headphones in, she has no makeup on like usual and is wearing her favourite green top, I smile at the sight unknowingly.

Ugh stop Soojin, remember what she did. Don't get sucked back in. It's not that she just broke up with me, but she left me when I needed her the most, I was crying on the floor heart broken and she just left.

I open the door, avoiding eye contact with her and take a seat. It's extremely awkward, we can both feel the tension no one daring to say a word.

Thankfully miyeon walks in.

"Ready?" Miyeon says hesitatingly.

"Let's just get this over with"

................

Miyeon and Shuhua are teasing each other like usual, but I can tell Shuhus putting an act on for the camera. Me and shuhua have kept our distance and only speaking a few words to each other.

She leans over towards me.

"Soojin, people are saying where acting weird. Just for now let's act normal for the fans" she whispers into my ear giving me goosebumps. I clench my jaw but agree.

She moves closer to me placing her hand on my thigh and leaning her head on my shoulder.

It hurts how right this feels. But just for now I'll let myself enjoy it, I entwine our hands and pull her closer. She looks at me so innocently and my heart melts. I'll let my guard down just for the fans.

We stay like that the entire vlive and for those few minutes everything felt right.

"BYE NEVERLAND, WE LOVE YOUU" shuhua shouts into the camera.

"Byeee" me and miyeon say after.

Once it's turned off I let go of her hand and move away from her as quickly as possible, I can see she's hurt. But this is what she wanted.

"You two need to talk, This isn't just effecting you two anymore but the whole group. I don't care what you two have to do to fix this but do something" miyeon says seriously, Miyeon can be scary sometimes the fans only see her acting cute and innocent but she's still the oldest.

I stay quiet.

"I'll see you soon, your not leaving until you talk"

The door closes leaving me and Shuhua.

"I'm sorry" shuhua says.

" I don't want to hear it" all the hurt resurfacing.

"Jin - soojin, I never wanted to hurt you"

"But you did!" I say the tears I was holding in fall. I hate how vulnerable I am right now, I look so weak and pathetic.

She stays silent but her own tears fall.

"Why are you crying! You did this, you chose this! So don't act like your hearts broken!" I scream, my voice cracking.

"I DIDNT CHOOSE THIS!" She says sobbing.

"I didn't choose this" she says quietly.

"W-what" I say confused.

Silence

"Shuhua! What did you say" I reply panicked she's on the ground knees pulled to her chest.

Silence

"Shuhua, tell me" I say gently pulling her into me.

She looks up at me our faces only inches apart, right now I can see the hurt in her eyes. Her tears making her look younger and I'm reminded that before I was her girlfriend I was also her bestfriend.

"Shuhua, please tell me" I say stroking her face.

"I can't" she whispers.

I lean forward and capture her lips gently, she responds instantly.

I pull away and look into her eyes. She still wants me and that confirmed it.

"tell me"

"The CEO. He made me"