Soojins pov.

"Soojin" miyeon whispers.

"Soojin wake up it's nearly 1 pm"

I open my eyes slowly, I feel how heavy they are and am reminded of the reason.

" Are you hungry, I can order us some food" miyeon ask.

"I'm not hungry"

"Soojin please, you need to eat," she says concerned.

"just get me anything," I say monotone.

She nods her head.

"Can you tell me what happened?"

I close my eyes not wanting to cry anymore.

"We broke up" is all I can say.

"T-that doesn't make any sense." She says disbelievingly.

I laugh, no humour.

"you think I don't know that"

.....

267 Missed calls from miyeon.

I messaged the group chat telling the girls that I would be gone for 2 weeks. They've all been blowing up my phone.

Except for soojin.

I don't want to answer anybody right now, and the one person I want to talk to I can't.

It's scary to think I would give up being an idol to be with her, but the truth is I would. But I can't let her do that for me, why can't we just have both.

I close my eyes tears threatening to fall for the 100th time, seeing her hurt like that breaks my heart even more.

I hate you

that same sentence on loop replays every day.

I open my phone and there she as my Home Screen.

"UGHHHHHHH" I scream and throw my phone at the wall.

*Knock *knock

"Mum please, go away," I say wiping my tears.

"Shuhua" a familiar voice whispers.

"M-Minnie," I say surprised.

She runs to me wrapping me in her arms.

.....................

"Shuhua what's going on, Soojin won't speak to anyone and you're ignoring our calls. Where all worried" Minnie says.

Silence.

"Did she do something to you Shuhua! if she did I swear-"

"Stop, she did nothing. It was me"

"Explain".

I tell her how I broke up with her, I didn't mention that the CEO forced me.

"I don't believe you"

"What?" I reply.

"I said I dont believe you, Shuhua you forget I know you and I know you would never do this to her. Now tell me the truth" I can sense her stare on me, I look down trying to avoid her.

"I'm telling the truth," I say quietly.

*sigh

"I'm not going to force it out of you. I want you to know You're not alone, when you joined idle we became a family and you're my family Shuhua. So whatever's going on I'm here for you, we all are."

"Thank you unnie" she smiles cutely and pinches my cheeks.

"Now since I'm here, show me around!" she says excitedly. I smile the first real smile.

..........................................

"I-I can't do this Minnie, I can't see her," I say panicked.

"Calm down, I'm with you okay?" she says grabbing my hand. I nod and put the code in.

I open the door and as soon I enter Yuqi and miyeon almost tackle me to the ground.

"SHUHUA DO YOU KNOW HOW WORRIED WE WERE" Miyeon shouts.

"I missed you so much," yuqi says unusually quiet for her.

"G-guys I c-can't breathe" they finally let me go.

my eyes wander around hoping she'd be here, but of course, she isn't. Shuhua dont cry I think to myself.

Minnie notices my sudden behaviour change.

"Let Shuhua rest where both tired and need to sleep" I silently thank her. The girls groan but dont argue.

"Shuhua" soyeon says sternly, shit I think to myself our leader doesn't look happy at all.

"Hi Soyeon," I say tiredly, all I want to do is sleep.

"After you've rested, me and you are talking" she says coldly. I nod my head already preparing myself for the scolding I'm going to get.

I go to walk past her but she tugs my arm.

"I'm glad your home safe," she says softly hugging me.

I feel guilty making her worry, she's a really good leader.

"So am I"

....................

I'm outside our room, the nervousness I felt before has doubled. Soojin's behind this door, flashbacks of that night invade my head.

*deep breath

I slowly turn the handle, the rooms pitch black I can't see a thing. I turn on the light, once I look around the room it's empty.

soojins sides empty.

I run into Miyeons room.

"MIYEON WHERES SOOJIN"

"If you read any of my text you'd know," she says bitterly.

"Miyeon. where. is. she"

"She's been staying at her parent's house, but dont worry she's coming back."

I sigh in relief, I thought she left.

"But, um she moved her things into the spare room"

I feel a sharp pain in my chest, why am I surprised of course she'd move rooms.

I walk over to her side of the room, her blankets and pillows are still here but everything else is gone.

I get changed and lay in soojins bed, I can smell the perfume I got for her comforting me. With the scent of Soojin lingering, I sleep

Peacefully for the first time in 2 weeks.

.....................

I open my eyes and see that it's still dark.

2:45 am

I'm hungry.

I get up still asleep and head straight to the fridge.

Leftover fried rice yum.

*click

I look towards the front door.

Soojin.

She turns around and makes eye contact but quickly moves her gaze. Her face is blank.

"Jinjin" I whisper.

She stops when she hears me say her name.

"Don't call me that" she says and than walks away.

I'm left in the kitchen feeling cold and empty.