《When You and I Collide》30) The Broken Hearted

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~Fang's POV~

I can't move, and everything is black. Such a wonderful combination. Where am I?

"Hello Fang," I hear a sweet voice say.

"Serah?" I squint into the darkness. She steps forward with a smile, giggling.

"Of course, silly!"

"Where am I?" I frown.

"In your head," she cocks he read to the side.

"Never knew I had no brain," I mutter. She giggles again and then crosses her arms, a frown settling onto her face.

"Fang, very soon, someone you love will leave. You can't stop them, it's just the way your life was meant to be."

"Mind telling me who it is?"

"I can't," she looks down. "It'll hurt more when you can't stop then from going."

"Does that mean I'm not dead?"

"Yep," she looks up with a smile.

"What about you?"

"I'm dead," she shrugs. Strange girl. "Now open your eyes, someone's practically killing themselves over you."

"Well that sounds nice," I shut my eyes. Open open open open... "Hey Vince." Vincent jumps and lifts his eyes to look at me incredulously.

"Fang..?"

"Yes, that's my name. Why? Did you get your memory wiped or something?" The first thing I notice is how dejected he looked before I spoke. The second is that he has both of his hands wrapped around one of mine. Aw.

"No," he shakes his head. "I just... Didn't expect you to wake up."

"Thought I was a goner, hmm? Dang it, my dramatic deaths peach was all for nothing." He smiles the tiniest bit at my words and I scowl at him. "It's not funny! Besides, my stomach feels like crap, so don't make me want to laugh." His smile falls and he looks away.

"I'm sorry."

"For what?" I frown. Then it all comes back to me.and I give him a dismissive wave of my hand. "Don't worry about it. I tried to strangle you."

"And I nearly killed you," he says softly.

"... Did you not just hear what I said?"

"Fang," he says slowly. "I cannot continue to put you in danger."

"Eh, I attract it." I'm trying so hard not to look deeper into his words because I'm scared of what I'll find.

"There are sins I have not yet atoned for, and this is another I must carry with me for eternity."

"W.. What are you saying?" I frown, trying to catch his eye. It works, but the regret and sadness in them is so overwhelming that I nearly break away.

"... I'm leaving." What...

"Where?" I furrow my eyebrows

"I have not yet decided," he avoids eye contact again. "But I may never return."

"Oh I get it," I narrow my eyes in him. "This is one of your stupid brooding sessions where you think about that Lucrecia woman and compare me to her." Instead of protesting, his shoulders hunch slightly, dejectedly. "You're just gonna leave? You realize that I live forever too, right? How do you think I'm going to deal with feeling this... Betrayal forever?"

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"You will move on," he sighs. "Perhaps you will even fall in love with another man." He stands and heads for the door.

"No I won't," I say quietly, not even recognizing my own voice. So weak, hurt. Heartbroken, something I told myself I'd never let me be. "You're probably the only person I'd ever associate with love for the rest of my life."

Knowing Vincent, I expect him to sigh and mutter an apology. But he just gives me the cold shoulder and leaves. Just like that. Something inside shatters. I had a friend in Oerba once. She was always wrong at the worst times, and right at the worst times too. She once told me that love is a painful thing, something that can destroy you. Something I shouldn't bother to mess with. I think she was right for once. Serah... Why me? The one person no expected to ever find someone... I thought I'd found the one, but he is too scared, too stained from his past to take a risk. I suddenly find myself wishing that death speech hadn't been for nothing.

Over the next two days, I get regular visits from Lightning and Vanille, Snow too. They try to make conversation, but all I do is stare off into space aimlessly until they shut up enough for me to sleep. My dreams are pleasant at first, scenes full of Vincent, but they grow evil as he leaves every time. Sometimes he dies, sometimes he just leaves like in reality, and others I wake up sweating after Chaos shredded me like a meat grinder. And all the while I wonder what I did wrong. If I had just resisted Hojo's torture, been stronger, none of this would've happened. I'm just as much of a monster as Ragnarock, if not more. How could I just let him go?

Day three starts as usual. I refuse my hospital room breakfast, as food makes me feel sick and I'd just puke it up later anyway. I must smell... I don't think I've showered since the day I got caught by Hojo, and who knows how long I was there? The nurse gives up on trying to make me eat and leaves with a frustrated look on her face. The second I shut my eyes to drift off into Vinnie Land, the door swings open again and crack a lid open to see Lightning glaring at me with her arms crossed tightly.

"Fang, eat the freaking food."

"I'm good," I roll over.

"No you're not. What happened to hold Fang?"

"She died."

"Well she needs to be revived, because I'm sick of this love struck teenager act. The old Fang would suck it up and move forward. She would look to the future and depend on Lady Luck for everything."

"And then she would go out and kill some monsters to relieve the stress," I remember aloud with the smallest smile ever playing on my lips. "Take a challenge or two from Titan."

"Exactly," Light smiles, cocking her head to the side. "But right now that Fang needs to shower because she smells like old B.O. and sweat."

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"Ain't that a lovely stench," I say sarcastically, turning to lay my feet on the floor. The second I stand, my stomach growls. Lightning gives me a pointed smirk that I roll my eyes to. Her visit that was meant to make me eat has both insulted and encouraged me at the same time. My mind can't let go of that tiny hope that maybe he'll change his mind, but I know he won't. Vincent is a stubborn man, but if we have eternity, I'll run into him eventually. And I swear the next time I see him I will punch him in the face. No regrets. YOLF, right?

Hot water from the shower feels amazing against my grimy skin, washing the filth from the past couple days away. When I'm done, I'm yank the snarls out of my hair with my fingers. Sucking in a sharp breath, I rip the large bandage from my stomach and grimace at the healing wound. It's less of a hole now, thanks to Vanille's healing spells and the Reeve's doctor's materia. It might not even leave a scar, but the pain is still there. I carefully pull my clothes on and step back into the room. Sazh and Dajh have now joined Light, the little boy gasping when he sees my wound.

"Why isn't that covered?" Lightning frowns.

"There wasn't any gauze," I shrug, walking over to the doctor's cabinet right across the room and pull out a roll.

"Feelin' any better, kid?" Sazh cocks his head to the side. His chocobo pops out of his hair and chirps, making me laugh lightly.

"A little, I guess," I sit on the bed and be in to wrap my wound. Surely the nurse won't mind.

"Cloud and Reeve want to see you in a little bit," Lightning says in a short tone. Wonder who pooped on her party.

"Alright," I sigh. "About what?"

"They didn't say."

"Vanille wanted to bring you some of the cookies she made yesterday," Sazh cuts in. "Said they were your favorite. Pulse nut and something else or something."

"Sounds good," I cock my head to the side and stand again, forcing all signs of pain down. "Guess I'll go stuff myself with cookies after I listen to Reeve talk for hours straight."

"I'll try to keep it short for your sake." I spin my head around to see Reeve frowning in the doorway. Cloud peers over his shoulder at me, eyebrows raising in a question. Doin alright? I give him a small nod and Reeve moves into the room, pulling up one of the few chairs in the room. "With Hojo gone, there is no barrier to impossibilities."

"... English?" I raise an eyebrow. He sighs. I don't think he ever liked me all that much.

"Your world is back, along with a portal we found in the laboratory."

"We're going back?!" Lightning looks at him incredulously. Cloud shifts on his feet, staring down at his boots.

"I wish I could say you have a choice," Reeve sighs again. "Cloud, remember how Bugenhagen said the Planet will destroy anything it finds threatening?" The blonde nods reluctantly, glowing blue eyes flickering to Lightning. "Bad things have been happening... And it all leads back to you seven."

"Hang on, I thought you said the Planet didn't see us as a threat," Light crosses her arms and raises an eyebrow at Cloud. He looks back at her sadly.

"I was wrong then."

"When do we have to go back?" I look up at Reeve. I don't think I can stand to live in this place forever... Not with Vincent nearby, not with his memory everywhere I look.

"Tomorrow would be the best time," Reeve says softly. "The people in Mideel are suffering from the Lifestream. It's pretty angry."

"Fine by me," I shrug and stand, looking around my room slowly. "Maybe I won't have to think as much about him anymore once we're home." I start for the door, but when my hand touches the knob, Cloud's voice stops me.

"Fang, he wanted me to tell you he didn't want any of this to happen." Don't break. Don't break, I chant to my cracking glass heart. "He loved you."

"Really?" I say bitterly. "Did he really?" I laugh coldly, nervous glances exchanged between the sword wielding couple. "Tell him he can go rot in you know where."

Then I slam the door behind me, retreating before they can see me cry. I'm not the Fang I was in Gran Pulse. I'm heartbroken, shattered with no one to pick up the pieces but myself. It's all Vincent's handiwork. And I hate him for it.

Reno smirks at me once I enter the next open room.

"Hey babe, where's your boyfriend gone?" I don't hesitate to punch him in the face and knock the wind out of his friend Rude before stomping into the elevator and hitting the ground floor button. I don't know how I got my lance in my hand, but I'm already halfway put of the city by the time I even care. I make it outside the limits into the desert around Edge and angrily decapitate a couple of beasts heading my way.

On my rampage once or twice, I think I see the flap of a red cape or a head of ink black hair, but when I blink they're gone. When at last I'm surrounded by dead animal bodies and I've been hallucinating too much, I plop down hard onto a rock, cover my face, and begin to cry. I'm no longer the strong independent woman I once was. I'm not a warrior any longer. I can't be Pulse's greatest huntress because I was drawn straight into a trap and snared in it. Now I'm dangling by the legs by a tight rope, iron jaws of a bear trap crushing my heart. I'm stuck. I'm broken. I'm Fang the broken hearted.

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