Today is the day I'm gonna be a wife and not so say it like that but I'm scared shitless. I have no idea how I'm supposed to act and if I even can do that.

I wasn't allowed to talk or see Mattheo since yesterday so that it would be more special when we see each other when I am going to come down the aisle. As if it wouldn't be special and unordinary enough the way we are going to get married but whatever.

After the wedding I'm gonna go live with Theo in his house I don't know why but I was kinda surprised hearing that which I definitely shouldn't be. I don't know what I thought would have happened I honestly didn't think about anything I guess it was my way of coping with it but now I have to think about all that because no matter what I do it's still gonna happen.

With those thoughts I go and just change into another set of sweatpants and a tanktop knowing I won't have to do anything else but brushing my teeth and showering. The rest will be made for me when we're at the location.

....

Arriving I go into a little pavilion seeing as the wedding is gonna be outside. 'Cause neither Mattheo nor me are religious I decided to not do it in a church and Theo told me I should just do what I like and he was sure he would like it too. Hopefully he is right I don't wanna ruin his wedding just because I planned it the way I did.

I decided to do not just everything outside but also with a lot of green details everywhere considering he told me that green is his favorite color.

...

After some time sitting in the pavilion it starts with the make up artist that comes to do my face and the hairdresser doing my hair.

Getting nervous the more i just sit there all I wanna do is stand up and walk a bit but I'm not allowed to do that until they are finished.

...

After they finished my look we go into a different section to put on the dress.

Hearing a car pull up I wanna go and look but my mom goes in between.

„It's your fiancé and he is not allowed to see until you walk down that aisle remember."

„Yeah" is all I say going, turning back around.

Slipping into my dress I look at myself. I look rather pretty and like a real wife which makes all of that just more real and scary. Letting that feeling sink in I need some time alone but it doesn't seem like I will get that with how many people are around so I just force the threatening tears back in.

„You look rather acceptable for a bride."

Turning around I see my mom standing there.

Honestly that is the nicest thing I could've thought about what my mom will say. So I just accept it and move on like always.

„Your are the most beautiful bride I've ever seen" Hearing that from Evelyn who almost feels like another mom to me makes me have the biggest smile I could muster up at the moment.

...

„Okay we are all going to sit down and you will have some time for yourself until your dad comes to walk you down the aisle alright?" Evelyn asks with a sweet smile on her face. I feel like she knows i need some time for myself. And I am really grateful for that.

After they left I can't hold back the tears anymore. Looking at myself in that dress and being here makes me just realize what is actually gonna happen. I'm really gonna get married today and I'm not ready for that in the slightest but no one seems to care about that.

Not realizing someone came in until I see Jack standing behind me. I try to hide my tears which obviously is too late by now.

„Hey you don't need to cry Ro. Why are you crying, you are way to pretty for that."

With saying that he gets a little smile out of me which makes him smile even more.

„I-I don't I don't know I'm just not ready and it- it's just so much you know I'm so young and... and I-." struggling with my words I just leave the open sentence hanging in the room.

„I know Ro, I know and I'm really sorry but I promise you Mattheo is a great guy." With that said Jack gives me a sympathetic smile.

„That is Not the problem, I know that. Anyway we can't change it now and we couldn't change it before so whatever. What are you doing here?" I say wiping my tears away trying to not ruin my make up and making myself look like I've never cried in the first place.

„You soon-to-be-husband sent me to look after you and tell him how you are felling considering he isn't allowed to see or speak to you."

„That's nice, tell him I'm fine and don't say I cried he doesn't need to now that. He will probably think it is because of him which it's not."

„It's not?"

„No, just the circumstances but whatever we already talked about it and I believe the wedding is starting soon so you should probably get back to him."

„Yeah, I see you when you come walk down that aisle then. And don't worry you've got this you are a strong person I can see that."

„Thank you." I tell him giving him a hug which surprises both of us but now I can't take it back so whatever.

Stepping back I see him smiling softly down at me.

Seeing my dad come in he looks at us and then over to me.

„Come on, we are starting now."