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Jo'nae Mariè Andrews, NJ📍

"You okay ma?" Demarcus asked me as we sat on my bed.

"Yea I just need to make a phone call right quick." I scrolled through my phone looking for my dad's number. My hands started to shake as I pressed call. "Can you step out for me please?" I asked Demarcus. He got up and left the room.

"Hello?" A women's voice said.

"Hi, my name is Jo'nae Mariè Andrews."

"You're Mr. Andrews daughter?"

"Yes. I was wondering if he has time to talk right now."

"Yes honey hold on."

My leg started shaking as I held the phone to my ear. I noticed I was holding my breathe and tried to focus on breathing normally.

"Hello?" A voice said into the phone.

"Hello? Dad?"

"Hey Jo'nae. Long time no talk how are you?"

"I'm doing fine. I just needed to tell you something."

"Yea? What is it."

I looked up at the mirror in front of me. I kept fumbling, trying to find the words.

"I-I wanted to tell you that you're going to be a grandfather." I held on to the edge of the bed tightly. As if I was going to fall.

"What?"

"I'm pregnant dad."

"Jo'nae, Jo'nae, Jo'nae. Didn't I tell you to keep your innocence?"

My chest started to go up and down fast. I took a deep breathe and got off the bed and stood in front of the window.

"I am not a little kid anymore dad. You can't just tell me what to do and expect me to listen."

"I'm trying to keep you safe."

"What exactly is your definition of safe. Because that's ain't even the word to use."

"You're going to say that to me? After everything I've done for you. I broke my neck for you. Gave you everything I could and your gonna say that?"

My head started to spin so I sat back down on the bed.

"After I saved you from your crackhead ass mother, this is how you repay me?"

"Saved me? You sent me to your brother's house."

"And?"

"And? Are you dumb or just plain fuckin stupid? Your brother did nothing but hurt me. But did you care? No! You didn't give a damn."

"Jo'nae these are lies! Fake! When will you give it up!"

"Why would I lie about this! Your brother molested me! He molested me and you don't care. How much of a fuckin father are you? To not even know this shit."

At this point I was crying. But there was no way to stop it this time.

"I begged you. I mean pleaded for you to not take me back to that house, and what did you do? Take me right the fuck back. He told me if I told anyone that the next time will be worse. I told you because I felt safe enough to tell you. But that changed the moment I told you I was uncomfortable around him."

"You don't have a reason to be uncomfortable around him that's your uncle."

"It doesn't matter! It doesn't fuckin matter! What does him being my uncle have to do with anything!"

"He would never hurt you."

"But he did. He did though."

"Look Jo'nae. This is all in your head. He never meant to harm you. Your uncle loves you."

"Love? If that was love keep it far the fuck away from me! That wasn't love! He didn't give a fuck about me!"

"You know what I don't care. I don't care Jo'nae."

When he said that my heart felt like it broke into a million pieces.

"Now who is this person that took your innocence from you an-"

"Your brother!" I yelled cutting him off. "I did not give it to him he took it! And I screamed for him to stop and he did not listen! And I told you! I told you dad and you tried to make me seem like it was all a dream!"

Flashbacks hit me as I spoke and it sent shivers up my spine.

"You told me: 'It's fine Jo'nae. He didn't mean it Jo'nae. It'll go away Jo'nae. And it did. The physical pain went away but the trauma did not. You forced me around this man after I told you countless times he made me uncomfortable."

"If you think you're even a little bit strong enough, to take care of a child you're wrong."

"You have no idea. I sat in a bathroom, day in and day out bleeding all over my body from the beatings this man would give me. All for what? Fighting back. And not letting him take what was mine. Or touch what was mine. Or VIOLATE WHAT WAS MINE! I SAT IN THAT BATHROOM ALONE! HEALING MY OWN FUCKIN SELF! CUZ NO ONE ELSE WAS THERE TO DO IT! I TAUGHT MYSELF THAT I WAS BEAUTIFUL AND WORTH IT! CUZ NO ONE ELSE WOULD DO IT! I PICKED MYSELF TF UP AND BUILT MYSELF AT THE AGE OF 11! WHY? CUZ NO ONE ELSE WOULD FUCKIN DO IT!"

It was silence on his end.

"So if you think I'm not strong enough for this mom shit you can eat a dick, you manipulative piece of shit. You're a sorry excuse of a father. I would never forgive you and you will never see your grandchild!" I hung up and threw my phone back on my bed.

Tears ran down my face as I laid back. I don't know if it were just my hormones but I was so fucked up. I laid there looking at the ceiling as flashbacks started to hit me.

Age: 16

"Take it Jo'nae." I looked at the small white tablets that sat in the palm of his hand.

"No stop." I said pushing it away from my face.

"You said you're in pain. This will relieve it I promise."

"Last time I took those it made me sick."

"You didn't do them right. If you do it right it'll make it all go away."

*Flashback ends*

Those words repeated in my mind as I got off the bed. It'll make it all go away.

---

Nicole Simmons, NJ📍

"Nothing just got in the house." I said pushing the door shut with my foot.

"Yea...okay..no what the hell..aight call me back...bye." I hung up and put the phone down on the table with my purse.

"Hello?" I called out. No one answered. The only car that was in the drive way was Jo'nae's so I know she's here.

I walked to her room but she wasn't there. I pushed open the bathroom door where I saw her sitting on the floor with a pill bottle in her hand.

"Jo'nae what the hell you doin in here?" I asked. "Jo'nae? Jo'nae!" I yelled. As she chucked some pills in her mouth.

I pushed her head down so they would all fall out of her mouth. She tried to grab them but I pushed her out the way. We fought over the pill bottle as she yelled for me to let it go.

"Jo'nae stop! Give it to me! Let it go Jo'nae!" I finally managed to get the bottle out her hand but it was empty everything was on the floor. I put the bottle down and she slumped against me.

"Come on Jo'nae." I took her to her room and laid her on her bed. She was an emotional wreck.

"I just want it all to go away Nicole."

What is she talking about? "It will Jo'nae. But pills? Trust me that is not the way to go."

I took out my phone and called Ashanti.

"Ashanti you need to come home Jo'nae tried to OD with some pills in the bathroom."

"She what?!" She screamed into the phone.

"Please just come over! I don't know what to do!"

"I'm coming."

---

"Nicole relax and tell me what happened." Ashanti said as we stood in the hallway.

"I came home. I was lookin for everyone b-but ya wasn't here. But I noticed J-Jo'naes car in the driveway so I knew she was here. I came in and she wasn't in her room that's when I found her in the bathroom. And s-she had the pill bottle and we fought over it." I spoke fast as my voice cracked.

She looked over at Jay who was shaking in anger.

He got up and went to Jo'naes room.

---

Jay'shawn Lawson, NJ📍

"How is she?" He asked Demarcus.

"She's fine. Sleep. But this shit again bro?"

"I know. I don't know what to do anymore. I mean you could pu-"

"I am not putting my pregnant girlfriend in no fuckin asylum so you can stfu if that's what you thinkin."

"Nigga no. She needs help."

He shrugged and looked down at her.

"Did you tell Ashanti?"

"Not yet."

"You should. She'll beat yo ass."

"I know." I said looking around the room. I went to her desk and sat at it. "What was the last thing she was doing before this happened?"

"I don't know. I wasn't here. I just remember she was on the phone."

"With who?"

He shrugged and picked up her phone. He unlocked it and pressed a couple buttons. "Her dad." He said looking at me.

"She don't have a good relationship with her dad. I don't know why but she don't."

I started to look through the drawers of her desk for her candy stash that she usually has when I came across a piece of paper. It was in her hand writing.

"What the fuck."