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Naala laid awake in their bed, facing the wall. She hadn't slept the entire night, she couldn't find it in herself to sleep.

Hassan's arms were wrapped around her tightly as he snored away. She held his hand and sighed, nothing was ever right for Naala, there always something that didn't work for her.

"Why aren't you sleeping?" Hassan said in a groggy voice. He tightened his grip and rubbed on her stomach.

"I miss the boys," Naala said quietly. When she thought of Samar she realised she needed to pump her breast milk out or her breasts would be full and painful all day.

"You wanna speak to em?" Hassan said kissing her shoulder.

"Yeah, I need to pump first," Naala said lowly, moving his hands from around her. "Hassan let me up," Naala huffed when he pulled her back into the bed.

"What's up with you?" He asked looking into her eyes.

"I told you, I miss the boys," Naala replied back,

"Gimme a kiss then," Hassan said tilting her head up,

"Mwah," Naala pecked his lips and got up. He could still tell something was wrong with her but he knew she would tell him when she was ready.

Naala went into the bathroom and got cleaned up. She took her pumping stuff and went out onto the balcony for some fresh air.

She started to pump the milk, the only noise was the loud obnoxious sound the machine made while squeezing the milk out of her breasts.

"I used to hate the sound of that thing," Dave said from his balcony. He had been sitting out there smoking his blunt when Naala came out to join him.

She looked over and fought the urge to roll her eyes, "Why are you out here so early?"

"Couldn't sleep," Dave shrugged, "I was thinking about a few things," He said before taking a pull of his blunt.

"What about you? You're never up this early," Dave mumbled looking at her.

"I couldn't sleep," Naala agreed with him, she heard noise behind her and looked back to see Hassan had left the room.

They sat in a comfortable silence, apart from the pumping machine.

"I wa —" They spoke at the same time,

"You go first," Naala said turning her chair towards him.

"I wanted to say I'm sorry Love," He called her by her nickname, one she hadn't heard in a while. "I'm sorry for the way I treated you, I know that isn't gonna do anything but I fucked up ma,"

"You did," Naala nodded,

"I fucked up and I made your life harder than it was meant to be, I'm sorry for that too," Dave said seriously.

"You told me you were gonna love me and never hurt me," Naala replied, "That's what you said to me, after Darnell, you made me believe I was worth it,"

"You are worth it," Dave said quickly. "I'm mad that I didn't appreciate what I had,"

"Yeah," Naala breathed out, "I'm sorry too. I let my own issues cloud our relationship,"

Naala had to take some fault in the breakdown of their relationship. She was never truly healed from any of her past trauma and she continually took that out on him.

"I'm mentally unstable and you got the worse of it, especially when um- when we lost the baby," Naala said closing her eyes.

"Please don't cry because I can't hug you right now," Dave said putting his blunt out,

"I'm not gonna cry," Naala answered, "I don't think I have any more tears left to cry Amir,"

Which was true, Naala was mentally exhausted and the tears just wouldn't come anymore.

Naala unhooked the pumping machine and turned it off. She had pumped 2 full bottles of milk that she will pour away.

"I let you deal with all that shit on your own, I'm sorry," Dave apologised again. "I was a coward, I couldn't even comfort you at your darkest time. I was out looking for the next bit of pussy,"

"Was it because I wasn't good enough?" Naala asked a question that she always wanted an answer to.

"No Love, it was because I was childish. I wasn't ready for our commitment, I should have never asked you to marry me so soon," Dave said honestly.

"Then why did you? I was happy with how we were, I didn't need marriage," Naala said getting comfortable in her seat.

"I thought that's what you wanted," Dave shrugged,

It was a classic case of zero communication. That was Naala and Dave's downfall, they didn't communicate well.

"I wanted you to love me," Naala responded. "Only me, not those other girls. I stuck by you, even when you hurt me so bad,"

Dave stood up and walked to the edge of the balcony so he was closer to her. "Baby please don't cry," Dave sighed, Naala was his weakness - she stripped away his barriers.

"I've been trying to get you out of my head but I can't," Naala admitted, "I've been convincing myself that you hurt me so badly that I shouldn't love you but I do," She started to cry so she closed her eyes to steady herself.

"Come and open the door," Dave spoke walking back through his room. He surpassed Trinity and walked straight out of the room.

As expected, the door was unlocked and he walked into the room Naala shared with Hassan.

"Stop crying baby, I'm sorry," Dave said hugging her tightly.

"You hurt me Amir, so much," Naala sobbed in his arms. His strong arms held her and consoled her, even through everything he put her through, Naala was still in love with him.

"I know I'm sorry," Dave whispered in her ear.

"I loved you, why couldn't you love me back?" Naala asked through her tears.

No matter how hard she tried to deny it, she couldn't not love him. The problem was she loved Hassan the same way, but what Dess told her last night threw her off.

"I did love you, I still love you Naala, I'm never gonna stop loving you," Dave spoke softly,

"But it still hurts," Naala cried,

"I know, I can only make up for it. I'm gonna make up for what I did to you," He spoke kissing her cheek repeatedly.

"That's what you say all the time," Naala said to him. "I'm tired of it,"

"I'm not the same person anymore Naala, I promise you that," Dave spoke quietly rubbing her back.

He kissed her head and wiped her face. "I'm sorry baby," Dave said continuously. He kissed her cheek and moved closer to her lips.

"I'm not going to cheat on Hassan, that's not what this is about to be," Naala pointed between them.

"And you're not gonna cheat on Trinity, she doesn't deserve that," Naala added,

"Agreed," Dave nodded. "We're going to do us properly this time,"

"There is no us," Naala replied quickly. "Not till you prove to me that you've changed. No gifts, no cars or houses, I want pure love,"

"I hear you," Dave mumbled pulling away, "Are you going to break up with Hassan?"

That was a question that Naala had no answer to.

~~

"Today we are going to switch it up. All couples will be jumbled around," Nasha informed them all.

"So we won't be with our partners?" Trinity asked clutching onto Dave's hand.

"No, I want to see how you all work without your significant other. Take it as a wife swap," Nasha smiled, "So I have, Drew and Naleli, Tarek and Trinity, Desiree and Hassan and lastly Dave and Naala,"

"Of course," Naala mumbled seeing Dess happily stand to her feet.

"Don't miss me too much," Naleli said kissing Tarek's cheek. She didn't mind leaving him, she trusted him - Tarek also valued his life.

Nasha was very strategic in picking the couples, after analysing and watching them for one day, she already could see who would fit perfectly with whom.

"La are you okay?" Hassan asked once more, Naala was being off with him and he could tell.

"Yeah I'm fine, go be with her," Naala dismissed him,

"Ima put it down to you missing the boys but keep fucking playing with me Naala," Hassan grumbled in her ear.

"Why are you trying to argue with me? I've told you countless of times nothing is wrong and you keep pushing," Naala snapped moving his arm off of her.

Dess was watching them like a hawk, trying to make out what they were saying.

"Somethings obviously up with you," Hassan shook his head, "I've told you I don't want her,"

"Oh really? So she's just in love with you for fun?" Naala spilled. "Hassan get away from me, I'm not in the mood to fight,"

"She told you that?" Hassan sighed,

"Oh so you knew?" Naala chuckled, "Move your hand or I swear I'll break it off,"

"I didn't tell you because—"

"Because what?" Naala cut him off. "You were both going to do it behind my back?"

"I wanted to speak to you properly, you deserve that," Hassan answered moving his hand to her back.

"That's where you went this morning?" Naala questioned calmly.

"Yeah but I told her not to say anything until I spoke to you, that's what you deserve," Hassan repeated,

"She deserves this," Naala said taking her ring off and putting it in his hand. "I'm not going through that again Hassan. I can't wear something that only means something to me. You keep that till you can honor it,"

"You ready Love?" Dave asked keeping his distance. He could see they were in a heated conversation.

Hassan cut his eyes at him and then back at Naala,

"Can you give us a second?" Hassan said with a frown,

"I'm ready," Naala said giving Hassan one final look. She walked away from him and when they walked past Dess it took everything in her not to lunge at her.

"You cool?" Dave asked looking down at her,

"I will be," Naala smiled softly following closely beside him. Dave's phone started to ring and he stopped to pull it out.

"It's Sinai, do you wanna speak to her?" He asked holding out the phone.

"Can I?" Naala said biting her lip,

"She's your daughter," He replied answering the FaceTime call and handing it to Naala.

"Hey daddy! Oh hi mama," Sinai said once she say it was Naala on the phone.

"Hey, how are you?" She asked stepping to the side so she could hear better.

"I'm fine," Sinai said quietly. "Are you okay?"

"I'm perfect now that I spoke to you," Naala smiled into the camera.

Sinai sighed and did something she would never do,

"I miss you mommy, I've missed your face too," Sinai confessed, "Why haven't I seen you?"

"I thought you didn't want to see me Nai, I didn't want to make you uncomfortable," Naala explained.

"But you're my mom," Sinai replied, "I needed you,"

Naala looked to Dave for some sort of explanation,

"Her anxiety is getting worse," Dave said to her making Naala frown,

"I didn't know Nai, I'm sorry. I'm gonna be here now, I'm not going anywhere," Naala said leaning on Dave.

"Are you and Daddy back together?" Sinai huffed because they were closer than normal.

"No were not," Naala shook her head. "But we have to go," Naala said looking at the rest of the group that were ahead of them.

"I love you and look after your sister for me," Naala blew a kiss,

"We'll speak to you later Nai," Dave added before taking the phone back.

"Why didn't you tell me her anxiety was getting worse?" Naala asked once they started walking again.

"Because we weren't talking," Dave explained, "My fault though, I was being petty,"

"Don't keep stuff like that from me Amir, she's my daughter, I deserve to know those kind of things," Naala fussed at him.

"I know but I was angry at you," Dave grumbled. The group paused ahead and waited for Naala and Dave to catch up.

"You two seem to be getting on better today," Nasha said with a small smile,

Trinity looked between them and couldn't help but notice how comfortable they seemed together. Hassan had noticed it too but he wasn't in the best position to speak on it.

"We've settled our differences," Naala announced,

"So they've fucked," Naleli mumbled shaking her head. No one heard her but Trinity who stood close by.

"I'm glad to hear that, did the retreat inspire this?" Nasha asked,

"Maybe," Naala shrugged dismissing the conversation. She didn't like how everyone was staring at them.

"For our activity this morning, we are going to be doing some light hypnotherapy work," Nasha smiled softly. "It may seem weird but it is very helpful but I need everyone to come in with an open mind,"

"How does hypnotherapy work?" Dess asked as she linked arms with Hassan. Naala looked at them but didn't say anything, nothing surprised her anymore.

"It is a guided process where I will use verbal cues, it works on some more than others." Nasha explained.

"Will we be awake?" Naleli questioned,

"You will be in a trance but fully awake," Nasha replied leading them into her room. "We will be doing it in our pairs,"

All the couples took their seats and waited for further instruction.

"I want you two to go first," Nasha pointed at Naala and Dave.

"We'd rather not," Naala shook her head,

"Please, show us how it's done," Trinity spoke with attitude,

"Come on," Dave said taking Naala's hand. She followed behind him and waited for Nasha to tell them where to sit.

"Before we begin, this exercise will bring out raw and honest feelings. Don't take any of these things to heart, it is the mind and the way it works," Nasha informed them before asking Dave and Naala to lay down.

"I want you both to close your eyes," Nasha instructed. "Find your quiet place,"

The herb she was burning, filled up the room. It was a relaxing herb that also imitated a relaxing drug.

Dave fidgeted uncomfortably, he didn't like the idea of everybody watching them.

"I want you to find that quiet place and go into it, follow whatever your mind is telling you," Nasha's voice started to distort. Naala was slowly drifting away and so was Nasha's voice.

"What can you see Naala?" She asked her,

"The beach," Naala mumbled, the herb had already got to her. "It's so quiet and there's someone in front of me,"

"Who is it?" Nasha questioned, "Can you make out their face?"

"It's - it's," Naala stuttered, her closed eyes were moving from side to side.

"Take your time, Dave what can you see?" Nasha asked him.

"My wife," Dave said lowly. "I can see my wife and we're on a beach,"

Trinity tensed up when he said those words, he was not referring to her, he was referring to Naala.

It was clear that Dave and Naala had gone to the same place, their own quiet place.

"Ameer," Naala mumbled, "I see our son and he needs me,"

"Go and see him." Nasha insisted, she helped Naala off the bed and let her free.

"Is this safe?" Naleli stood up. She was worried about her sister, Naala was completely out of it.

"Shh please, they are fine," Nasha said turning around quickly. "Naala go and see him," The beach was only a few steps away from where they were.

Naala followed her directions, she put one foot in front of the other and walked towards her son.

"Ameer get away from the water, it's too deep," Naala said when she got closer to him.

The group stared at her weirdly because she was facing the water but no one was there.

"Hey Ma," He turned around to smile at her. He was grown, and looked exactly like his dad.

"Hi," Naala spoke emotionally. This was first time ever seeing him as an older child. She always imagined what he would look like.

"Don't cry mama," Ameer said as he grew closer to her.

"Why did you have to go?" Naala cried reaching out to him. "You should be here with us," She caressed his face and ran her hand through his hair.

"I am here," Ameer replied, "Right Dad?" He said looking behind Naala to where Dave stood.

"Step away from the water," Dave spoke holding onto Naala's hand. The water was rocking dangerously and the waves were crashing loudly against the rocks.

The whole group watched as Naala and Dave interacted with someone that wasn't there. It was surreal, but they could feel the energy.

"Come back with us, look you can come back," Naala begged,

"Naala he has to go," Dave mumbled putting his arm around her.

"No he can come back with me," Naala sobbed holding onto his hand. "I'm sorry, I didn't know that you weren't okay and I couldn't save you,"

The night Naala gave birth to Sinai and Ameer, she never expected that he wouldn't survive. It was only when they passed him over and his whole body was cold is when she knew.

"Stay with me," Naala said pulling him closer to them.

"I'm right here Ma," Ameer pointed to her heart. "I'm always there, you just don't know. I needed to go, it was my time,"

"You weren't meant to," Dave interjected. "That's what broke your mom, it wasn't your time."

"You broke her," Ameer replied with a smile, "I had to go, but you were meant to protect her,"

"Don't talk to your dad like that," Naala sniffed,

"Nah he's right," Dave answered squeezing her hand. "I did do this to her but that didn't mean you had to leave,"

Nasha listened carefully, picking up on topics she would later ask about.

"Where are you going?" Naala asked stepping forward as Ameer started to walk back into the water.

"I've got to go mama," His voice started to drift away,

"Amir get him back." Naala screamed pushing Dave towards where Ameer walked to.

"Bring him back," She cried clinging onto him. "I want my son back,"

Hassan stood up quickly, he couldn't watch her cry and not do anything.

"Leave them," Nasha held her hand out. "He'll handle it," She added. They looked on as Dave held her and calmed her down, he was whispering something into her ear.

"I got you Love, I'm not gonna let you go," Dave teared up as Naala screamed and cried for their son.

"It's not fair," She cried into him. "Why can't we have him back?"

"I don't know baby, I don't know," Dave replied. His face was also full of tears. He didn't understand what was happening, it was like Ameer was right in front of them.

Trinity watched them with a hint of jealousy but also understanding. She had known that Dave and Naala would never leave each other alone, she was Naala's placeholder.

"We gotta go back over there Naala, he's not coming back," Dave spoke wiping his face discreetly.

"I want to stay here," Naala said unwrapping her arms from around him and sitting down in the sand. "Just in case he comes back,"

"Okay," Dave nodded and walked back over to the group. His eyes were clear now, his mind was no longer hazy.

"That was amazing," Nasha cheered. "The way you handled —"

"What the fuck are you doing?" Dave snapped cutting her off. "You know she's not well, she can't deal with shit like that,"

"And you know that," He pointed at Hassan. "So why the hell would you sign her up for some shit like this?"

"I did say that it would be raw." Nasha answered. "I'm aware of Naala's difficulties, that was what her mind wanted her to see,"

"Stop acting as if you not loving the fact that she's letting you touch her," Hassan said to him.

"Can you not?" Dess said to Hassan quietly. He put his hand on her thigh and squeezed it.

"This is some bullshit," Dave cursed. "So y'all are together now?" He gestured between them.

"Yep," Drew chimed in. "It's fucked up ain't it?"