🤍

Naala stared at them blankly, her left eye twitching profusely. She wanted to understand why the hell they were there. Mouths were moving but she wasn't listening because they weren't saying anything she cared to hear.

"Did you hear what I said?" Hassan said leaning down to her ear,

"This wasn't my idea," Dave mumbled angrily, he didn't want to be in her presence either.

"Then why did you bring your dumb ass here anyway?" Naala mugged, "And then you gonna bring a bitch that you cheated on me with?"

"I'm not a bitch, I'm the mother of his child," Trinity defended,

"You are very much a bitch," Naala snapped. Normally she wouldn't care for Trinity but this was her vacation, one that was meant to get her away from New York.

"I thought it would be good for us to get over our little problem," Hassan said putting his hand on her waist.

"Oh so you want me to kill them here?" Naala laughed, "I don't know if you think you're Maury but this ain't it," She added before walking off.

"Dramatic as fuck," Dave said under his breath,

"Watch your mouth, I already did the most by inviting y'all don't make me regret it already," Hassan warned him. "Let me show you to y'all room,"

"Thank you, you're a much better host," Trinity said following behind Hassan,

"Bitch shut the fuck up!" Naala called from the bar. Pouring herself a double shot, Naala threw it back and didn't even wince.

"Why did I just see baby daddy number 2 stalking the halls," Naleli gasped joining Naala's side.

"I don't know what kind of game Hassan is playing," Naala commented pouring another shot, "Shot?" She offered Naleli.

"No but that's enough for you," Naleli said taking the bottle. "Did you know they were coming?"

"Leli if I knew I wouldn't be here," Naala muttered finishing off her last shot. "I'm starting to think I'll never get away from Amir,"

"Well you do have two kids together," Naleli said lowly,

"Gee thanks, I never thought about that," Naala responded sarcastically. It was more Dave that was bothering Naala. She was acting all tough but she was scared of him.

Scared more so that he would take her back to a time where she was most vulnerable. He reminded her of all her vulnerable times, including the ones she would love to forget.

"I think this would be good for you," Naleli said after a while. "Maybe if you reach an understanding here, you can finally have a healthy relationship,"

Naala knew Naleli was speaking facts but she would never admit it.

"He's not capable of healthy," Naala said looking over her shoulder,

"So you're telling me every part of your relationship was bad? There's no way you would have stayed as long as you did," Naleli replied. Naala twisted her lips to the side and used her hand to prop up her chin.

"For most part it was good, but I had issues. A lot of them before we even got back together. When he came back, I went from an abusive relationship straight into a new one," Naala said softly,

"I didn't get a chance to be on my own, to even let myself heal. All now I don't think I'm fully healed," She admitted.

"Then maybe that's where Hassan is coming from, you can't take that it to a whole new marriage," Naleli preached, she was definitely Naala's voice of reason - the other half she desperately needed.

"You're right," Naala huffed, "I'm still mad at him though,"

"Stop being mad at me baby," Hassan said coming up behind them. "I did this for you," He spoke again rubbing her sides.

"I would have settled for therapy, why do they need to come to our vacation?" Naala questioned turning around to face him.

"This is a wellness retreat," Hassan revealed. "I can see how much you need this Naala, I was only trying to help,"

Naleli scrunched up her face, "Why the hell would you bring us on a retreat? I didn't tell you I needed that,"

"Everyone needs it," Hassan said pushing himself up against Naala. "We need this," He said to her directly.

"I don't need this," Naala huffed pushing him off her. She took the bottle and her glass and walked off into the direction their room.

"Naala you can't keep running from your problems," Hassan said following her down the hallway,

"I'm not running, I'm choosing not to engage in whatever sick game you're playing," Naala said dismissively,

"Do you want us to work or not?" Hassan shouted. "I hate getting loud with you La, you know I do but you're giving me no choice,"

"Then stop shouting at me," Naala said turning around. "This was meant to be a happy trip why would you blindside me like that?"

"Because you wouldn't have come, it really isn't that serious Naala," Hassan said. He couldn't see why she was so bothered by Dave being there.

"It's not serious to you," Naala pointed. "You don't have to see the person you love move on with someone else, you don't have to see him love someone else how he was meant to love me,"

"You still love him?" Hassan replied standing back,

"What are you talking about? Are you even listening to what I'm saying?" She answered, she knew in that moment that she had fucked up.

"You said the person you love, not loved," Hassan chuckled dryly, "I knew that's why you never want to be around him,"

"You're overreacting Hassan, I told you before love doesn't just go away," Naala tried to explain,

"If you love him, then you can't love me," Hassan said lowly,

"San you're not listening to me, of course I love you," Naala replied quickly. Dave stood by his bedroom door listening to Naala and Hassan go back and forth.

It was news to him that Naala still felt that way about him. He had been waiting for the day she would take him back but now it didn't seem right - he knew Hassan was the one she needed to be with.

"Y'all should go in your room, you shouldn't be doing this out here," Naleli said ending Dave's entertainment for the night.

"Nah I'm gonna go and clear my head," Hassan said shrugging Naala's hand off of him and walking away, leaving the twins on their own.

"Why would you say something like that Lala? Love doesn't just go away?" Naleli sighed,

"I can't stand here and say I never loved Amir I would be lying to myself. I am not in love with him, I do not want to be with him but of course I have love for him." Naala said quietly pulling Naleli towards her room.

"How can you love him after everything he put you through?" Naleli said with a scrunched up face.

"Without him I wouldn't have my daughters," Naala shrugged. It was standard that both Dave and Naala used their children as an excuse as to why they still had love for each other.

"Even through all the pain?" Naleli asked in disbelief. She hated to say it but her sister was gullible.

"I'm not in love with him, you don't get it. You haven't had kids with someone and then moved on," Naala muttered,

"Just be honest, a part of you still cares for him," Naleli answered.

"I do care about him, but I'm in love with Hassan," Naala said firmly. "I would never ever get back with Amir, again."

"Well now all you have to do is convince him of that," Naleli said shaking her head.

~~

"It's late, don't you want to go to bed?" Dess said sitting beside Hassan. He took a pull from his blunt and looked her up and down.

"I'm chilling," He mumbled looking away from her.

"What's the matter?" Dess asked putting her hand on his shoulder.

"Desiree why the fuck would you say that earlier?" Hassan said moving her hand off him.

"It was a mistake, I didn't do it on purpose," Dess defended,

"And then you started doing the most, you had her doubting herself Dess," Hassan said shaking his head. "Do you know I hard I've worked to build her up? After everything she's been through?"

Dess stayed quiet, she didn't really have anything else to say.

"That shit was uncalled for Desiree, she's gonna be my wife and you made her feel like I was hiding something from her," Hassan continued.

Even though he wasn't on the best terms with Naala, that was his wife - regardless.

"I'm sorry," Dess peeped out. "I know how much she means to you, I'm sorry,"

Dess moved closer and wrapped her arms around him, hugging him tight. Hassan returned the hug, putting his blunt down.

"I do want the best for you guys," Dess said as they pulled apart, their lips dangerously close.

She leaned forward and so did Hassan, both knowing that what they were about to do was wrong.

"Hassan it's late," Naala said from behind them, interrupting their moment. She watched their whole encounter, and she had seen enough.

"I was just coming in," Hassan cleared his throat standing to his feet.

"Goodnight Lala," Dess smiled lightly. Naala blinked at her and went back into the house.

Hassan followed her in and sat on their bed, watching her take down her hair and take off her jewellery.

"It wasn't what you think," He spoke leaning back in the bed.

"I didn't think it was anything," Naala replied simply, placing all her rings in her jewellery box. She slipped off her engagement ring and placed it down.

"Are you mad?" Hassan sniffed, taking his shirt off.

"You were the one that was mad at me. I came out to tell you to come to bed," Naala answered slipping out of her dress. She had learnt from her relationship with Dave not to question things.

She walked over and straddled his lap, "I'm sorry San, I took my anger out on you, I'm not in love with him,"

"I want to know if I'm wasting my time Naala," Hassan said while moving her hair out of her face.

"I'm in love with you. I can't fake that, you make me feel human, like I deserve to be loved. Amir had a way of getting into my head and making me weak, you're not like that," Naala replied holding onto him.

"You need to heal baby," He said kissing the side of her face. "And maybe we don't need to be together for you to do that,"

Naala's head shot up, "You're breaking up with me?"

"If that's what it takes to get you right," Hassan nodded. That wasn't what he wanted to do at all, but he didn't see any other way.

"Okay," Naala nodded standing up. She moved over to her closet and started to pack her bag up. She was pulling clothes off the hangers roughly and shoving them into the bag.

"Naala," Hassan said in a firm tone, "What are you doing?"

Naala ignored him, continuing to pack her things. Hassan snatched the bag out of her hand and put it down.

"You're not going anywhere," He said taking the clothes out of her hand.

"Hassan I'm trying really hard not to blow up on you right now, please move out of my way," Naala said calmly.

"I'm not gonna move," Hassan shrugged. "You're overreacting,"

"I'm overreacting? I just caught you basically about to eat Dess' face. Then you come in here and tell me I need to heal and we can't do that together?" Naala chuckled.

"I'm this close to knocking you out," Naala said pushing past him.

"I wasn't gonna kiss her —"

"This is because of her?" Naala cut him off, "You want to break up our family because of Desiree right?"

"La where did you even get that from?" Hassan sighed,

"Well you're standing there and telling me you don't want us to be together anymore, I can't think of what else it would be," Naala was trying to keep her emotions in line, for the sake of her mental health.

"You think this an easy decision for me baby? I don't want to do this." Hassan said taking her hand.

"I hate feeling like this Hassan," Naala said softly, "Tell me what you want me to do and I promise I'll do it,"

Naala was tapping back into the weaker side of her. The side that conformed to a male, the side where she lost all she'd ever worked for.

"Don't cry Naala," Hassan responded pulling her into him.

"You want me to be better than her? To be a better mom? What do you want me to do?" Naala said trying to hold back her tears.

"Stop saying things like that, don't compare yourself to her." He said rubbing her back.

"I don't want you to leave me Hassan, I won't be able to survive without you. Saint won't be able to live without you, you can't leave," Naala started to cry lightly.

"I'm not leaving you. I just want you to get better Lala, I don't think us being together is helping," He said truthfully.

"It is helping me," She nodded quickly. "Don't go," She cried into him.

"I'm not going anywhere Lala, I'm not," Hassan whispered into her ear.

"Do you want to be with Desiree?" Naala sniffed not looking at him.

"No I want to be with you, Dess isn't a factor," Hassan replied. "But I want you to participate in the retreat, and don't shut down. If you can get through this then we'll be good?"

"I can't stand him," Naala mumbled. "And I hate her, I hate both of them for what they did to me,"

"That's why I wanted to do this," Hassan replied. "Can you try? For me?"

"Yeah," She nodded. "Can we go to sleep now? My head hurts,"

Hassan nodded and lifted her off her feet. He gently placed her down in the bed.

"I'm not leaving you Naala," Hassan said into her ear as she curled up next to him. He leaned down and kissed her head, holding her tight. "I love you, don't forget that," He added.

"I love you too," Naala breathed out, letting sleep overtake her. Their conversation still heavy on her mind, their problems also filling her up with worry.

~~

"Good morning beautiful people," The retreat leader, Nasha sang.

The whole group mumbled a good morning. Naleli didn't respond of course, she pushed her shades up her face more.

"Eat some of this," Hassan said cutting up a sausage for Naala.

"I feel sick," She shook her head pushing the plate away from her.

"Seems like you all had a fun night," Nasha smiled looking around at the hungover couples.

"We did," Trinity chirped. "And now we're ready for your help," She said holding onto Dave's hand.

"Someone put a sock in her mouth," Naala mumbled putting her head on Hassan's shoulder.

"Be nice," Hassan said putting his arm around her. He looked over at Dess who was staring them down, once they caught eyes - she looked away.

"Our first task of the day will be nice and easy," Nasha said snapping her fingers. At least 4 helpers came out, all holding paint brushes and easels.

"We're painting?" Naleli turned her nose up,

"Yes, to get to know you all better, I've decided to get you to paint your feelings," Nasha responded. The helpers moved around the table, clearing their plates and putting the easels down.

"Leave that please," Hassan said to the man who wanted to take away Naala's green tea.

"He can take it," Naala muttered softly,

"She doesn't like green tea when she's sick," Dave said in a matter of fact tone.

"Did I ask?" Hassan replied rudely. "Mind your business,"

"I'm just saying," Dave held his hands up and laughed.

"Babe chill," Trinity said nudging Dave,

"Do you want the tea La or shall I get you a water?" Hassan said ignoring Dave,

"I'm fine San, really," Naala said leaning up to peck his lips. He kissed her back and then handed the tea over to the helper.

"Perfect, now everyone should be ready," Nasha grinned, "With only the colours in front of you, I want you to paint how you feel right now,"

"This is stupid," Naleli said out loud,

"Stop it and pick up a brush," Tarek said shaking his head at her. "I apologise for her," He said to Nasha.

"You're Naleli I presume?" Nasha asked walking over to them. "Can I just say, the resemblance between you and your sister is amazing,"

"Well we are twins," Naleli smiled fakely.

"Who was born first?" Drew asked out of interest.

"I was," Naleli responded, "Isn't it obvious?"

"Jesus Naleli shut up," Naala groaned holding her head. "You've not stopped all morning,"

"Okay moody mabel," Naleli mumbled under her breath,

"Can we get on with this please?" Naala questioned sitting up. She could feel the sick bubbling in her stomach and she wanted to get this over and done with.

"Yes yes, let's begin," Nasha clapped her hands together.

They all started to paint, with the sound of the sea the only noise around them.

Nasha walked around analysing all their paintings. She took into account both Naala and Dave's were almost identical in their darkness.

"Okay, times up," Nasha said standing at the front again.

"Dave would you like to show us yours?" Nasha smiled ushering him to stand.

"Uh- I - I kinda just drew what I was thinking about," He stuttered holding it up.

"Looks like shit," Naleli said with a small chuckle.

"That's how I feel," Dave responded looking at her.

"Why do you feel that way?" Nasha asked with a raised eyebrow.

"I feel like all I do is screw up. I can never have a good thing in my life, that's why it's a ball of darkness," He pointed to the big black blob on the easel.

Naala looked at the painting, then at him. It did represent him, he was her big ball of darkness.

"That's why we're here," Nasha spoke nicely. "To work through that darkness, in this beautiful place. I want you all to find your serenity through the darkness,"

"Does anyone else want to share?" Nasha said swaying from side to side.

No one volunteered, which was what she expected. "Then, ladies can you follow me?" She smiled opening her arms.

Hassan got up and pulled out Naala's chair, holding his hand out for her. "Be careful," He said kissing her cheek.

"We're only going down there," Nasha laughed pointing to the shore. "But it's rejuvenating to see how much you care,"

Naala blushed and looked away from him, stepping away from the table and following behind the other girls.

"I sense tension," Naleli nudged Naala as they walked side by side.

"Between who?" Naala asked looking over at her sister.

"You and Dess. What happened?" Naleli said in a hushed tone. Desiree was walking ahead of them, engaging in a conversation with Trinity.

"I caught her and Hassan about to kiss," Naala said putting her head down.

"Oh," Naleli said simply, "Do you want me to kill her?" She asked seriously.

"No Leli, I don't," Naala laughed for the first time all day. "I'm going to handle it,"

"Hmm, just know I'm always down," Naleli answered linking arms with her.

"I know, you're my big sister," Naala smiled leaning into her.

"By a minute," Naleli responded holding onto Naala tighter. Over the years of knowing each other, their bond has truly gotten stronger. Naleli felt like she had known Naala all her life and vice versa.

"You look nice, let me take a picture of you," Naala cheesed bringing out her phone. Naleli sighed and waved her off,

"I don't like pictures," Naleli complained, looking away from Naala.