《To Learn to Let Go | ✔》Chapter 38

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"Good morning, happy birthday!" I said excitedly as I kissed Trent. My alarm just went off and I wanted to make sure Trent was awake before I started getting ready. I also wanted to be the first one to wish him a happy birthday.

"Good morning," he replied groggily.

"How does it feel to be an adult?" I asked.

"No different than being 17 honestly," he shrugged.

"You really don't like your birthday, do you?" I asked.

"Not at all."

"How come?"

"My mom used to make a big deal out of it, and I tolerated it for her, but since she's gone, I don't want to even think about it. I don't like the reminder that I'm getting older and being given more responsibility, and I have to like figure out what I'm going to do with my pathetic life."

"Hey, you're not pathetic, and I'm so happy I get to celebrate you getting older. That means you're still here, you're still with me."

"Oh baby, I could never leave you. If it means that much to you I'll celebrate every birthday until the day I die."

"Perfect! Because I have some plans for tonight," I said, winking at Trent as I got out of bed. I went to my bathroom and got ready, and Trent did the same after me. We ate a quick breakfast before heading off to school.

"You haven't smoked a single cigarette this morning," I smiled as we walked hand in hand through the hallways. The looks and stares had mostly stopped by now, everyone used to the fact that Trent and I were together.

"I'm really trying to quit," he said as he rubbed his thumb absentmindedly over the back of my hand. I could tell he was fidgety and craving a cigarette, his thumb was moving in windshield wiper like motions, definitely not the calming motion I was used to.

"I can tell," I laughed and held up our hands. Trent immediately stopped and dropped our hands back down.

"Sorry, I'm just really craving one," he admitted.

"That's okay, I'm proud you're not giving in."

"Thanks, after I calmed down from the initial shock of my dad's heart attack, I realized it was his bad habits that did him in, if I kept up smoking, I could end up having a heart attack before 50 too."

"Well, being an adult may not feel different to you, but you're definitely making very grown-up decisions today." I smiled, squeezing his hand as we stopped outside of my bio class.

"I guess," he shrugged. "I'm just trying to make sure I'm around to annoy you for a long time," he teased.

"Oh you will be, don't worry," I smirked.

"That feels like a threat and I don't know why," Trent raised an eyebrow at me.

"Don't worry about it," I kissed him quickly. "I'll see you at lunch babe," I turned away from Trent, letting go of his hand and walking into class. Trent stayed there for a minute watching me until I rolled my eyes at him and shooed him away.

"That boy is head over heels in love with you," Mrs. Reynold's laughed as she got to my desk to hand out the worksheet for today's lab. My cheeks were on fire and I just shrugged in response. "Sorry I didn't mean to embarrass you."

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"It's okay." I replied, looking around the room to see that Vivian was glaring at me from the other side. I just smiled widely at her. I had what she wanted, and she couldn't stand it. It kind of felt good to be envied.

The morning dragged on. After bio I had gym and today, we were running. Luckily Brayden was in my gym period, as I discovered shortly after Trent and I got together. We didn't hang out during class at first, but as Trent and I got more serious and I got more comfortable with Brayden, I joined in with his group of friends. They were the same group I met at that party Trent took me too. For the most part they were welcoming, except for Carlos. I never said anything about it to Trent though, because I knew Brayden wouldn't let him say or do anything to me.

"So, do you and Trent have plans for tonight?" Brayden asked.

"Rodriguez hates his birthday," Tony commented.

"I'm planning for us to just spend the night in." I said, cause everyone to whistle and giggle and my face to turn a deep shade of red.

"Don't embarrass the kid guys!"

"And don't make me vomit," Carlos spat as we walked out to the track.

"Carlos, knock it off man." Brayden said. Carlos scoffed and him and Lana wandered off on their own. I just walked alongside Brayden uncomfortably.

"You know that you're more than welcome here, right Grayson?" Dani asked.

"Yeah," I said, but it came off more like a question.

"Carlos and Lana suck, and they definitely don't speak for the rest of us." Tony said. "You're good for Trent." I think that was the nicest thing Tony had ever said to me. It's actually also probably one of the only things Tony's ever said to me.

"Thanks," I smiled.

"So, how did you convince Trent Rodriguez to celebrate a birthday?" Dani asked.

"I don't know... I told him it was important to me?"

"That is so sweet!" Dani cried, then she slapped Sean's chest. "Sean, why don't you do shit for me cause it's important?"

"Ow, what do I not do for you that's important to you? I celebrate my birthday!"

"I don't know, but I'll think of something!" Dani huffed, crossing her arms over her chest. Dani was too funny, but also really romanticized mine and Trent's relationship... maybe that's not the word... maybe fetishized is more accurate. She was that annoying straight girl. I knew she meant well so I never made a big deal about it but sometimes I would just rather she didn't, you know?

"So what are the plans for tonight?" Brayden asked. "I know you said a quiet night in, I definitely think he'd prefer that since he already doesn't like celebrating himself."

"I'm going to cook him dinner, but I don't think it'll even come close to anything he could cook for himself. And I got him a kind of big gift that I'm going to give him after."

"Oh really?" Brayden asked with a suggestive smirk.

"Oh my god!" My cheeks flushed. "No, not like that! I bought him an expensive record, Jesus Bray!" He laughed hysterically as we jogged around the track. The rest of the crew had run ahead so it was just us talking.

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"Sorry, I'm sorry I shouldn't joke about that."

"No, it's okay... I kind of already gave him that anyway."

"No way! Well, congrats I guess," he laughed. "Was it, was he good to you? He didn't pressure you or anything right?"

"No, he was so sweet and understanding."

"Okay good, I'd have to kick his ass if he wasn't." He continued jogging until the whistle was blown signaling us to head back in the building.

"Thanks Brayden." I said as we were changing.

"For what man?"

"Looking out for me all the time."

"Of course man, Trent's family, and he loves you, so you're family now too."

"Speaking of family," I started as I shut my locker. "What happened with yours, if you don't mind me asking?"

"Of course not. My parents were druggies. They dealt drugs and used drugs. It put me in the foster system pretty early on. I have siblings who are still in the system, when I'm 18 my goal is to get them out. But I got emancipated when I turned 16, I was tired of being bounced around and treated like crap so some family could make a buck off of me. My parents tried to get us back over the years, but they always failed a drug test or missed a court date and right back in we went."

"I'm really sorry, that must have been tough."

"It was, for a long time I was so pissed at them, and thought they loved the drugs more than me, but they're just sick. I feel sorry for them."

"Wow, it's impressive that at just 17 you've figured that out."

"Oh, don't worry it took a lot of court mandated therapy." We both laughed, because we both understood. We've both been forced into dealing with our trauma, whether or not we really wanted to.

"So, what's the plan for tonight?" Trent asked as he drove us home.

"I'm making you dinner, and then you're opening your gift, and we're having cake!"

"Cake?"

"Yeah I'm going to bake a cake too, you like chocolate right?"

"Yeah... you remembered that?" He asked, a small smile playing at his lips.

"Of course, silly! I remember everything you tell me!"

"My dad forgot my birthday most years, and I don't think he could tell you a single thing I like." He shrugged.

"I'm not like your dad, I'm not like those girls you've been with," I spat, more venom in my voice than I meant for there to be.

"Babe, are you jealous of the girls I've been with?" He asked as we walked up the front lawn to his house.

"No..." I huffed. "Well... maybe. Vivian was glaring at me all period long in science and it just always makes me think..."

"Think what?" I tried to just walk away, I made my way through the kitchen and tried to get to the fridge but Trent caught my wrist and spun me around, pinning me to the kitchen island with a hand on either side of me on the counter. "Think what, Grayson?" He asked again.

"I think that maybe you'd rather have those girls... what could you see in me when you have girls like Vivian throwing themselves at you?"

"Grayson Michael Daniels," Trent said, pressing himself against me, our lips were just inches apart, and his hips and chest were flush with mine. "I love you with my whole heart, unconditionally. I've never cared about any of those girls even a fraction of the amount I care about you. You are the one I am choosing to be with. I know I could just as easily have any girl at school all over me. But I don't want them anymore. All I want is you." He closed the gap between us. Gently placing his lips on mine. I smiled into the kiss as it deepened, and Trent's hand made its way to cup my cheek.

"I love you," I whispered as Trent broke the kiss.

"I love you too, Grayson. So much." He kissed my forehead and then took a step back, allowing me to finish my walk to the fridge.

I cooked dinner... with a little help from Trent. I'm a bit of a mess in the kitchen and Trent watched me struggle for about 15 minutes before he stepped in to help. He loved the meal in the end and that's all that really mattered. The cake was the bigger hit. And that I was able to do all on my own. I can't cook very well but I can bake my ass off. I put 18 candles on Trent's cake, and sang happy birthday. "Make a wish baby," I said when I finished singing.

"I already have everything I could ever wish for right here," he smiled and took my hand.

"You cheese ball!" I blushed and cut us each a slice of cake. "Okay, present time!" I shouted when we finished our cake. I grabbed Trent's hand and dragged him up to my room excitedly.

"Grayson, what could you possibly have gotten me?"

"It took me forever to find something, trust me. You're a hard man to shop for."

"Well, whatever it is I'm sure I'll love it."

"I hope so!" I handed him the gift, neatly wrapped in a shiny blue paper, as we both sat down on my bed. Trent eyed it suspiciously and started ripping the wrapping.

"Blurryface?" He looked up at me, brows slightly furrowed. "Is this because?"

"'Tear in my Heart' was playing that day you drove me home, and you told me you liked my voice."

"I think of you every time that song comes on the radio."

"It makes me think of you too."

"This is probably the nicest gift anyone's ever given me," Trent said, leaning in and closing the gap between us. I smiled into the kiss and pulled Trent closer. "Thank you."

"Happy birthday Trent, I love you so much."

"I love you too." Trent connected our lips again, climbing into my lap and slowly pushing me onto my back. "Is this okay?"

"Perfect."

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