I flopped down on Trent's bed as soon as I entered his room, "God, I would kill for a good coma right now," I sighed dramatically.

"Okay, Moira," Trent laughed as he lay down next to me. I swung an arm over his stomach and pulled myself close to him, swinging my leg over his. I breathed in and smiled at Trent's familiar scent.

"I'm serious I could just fall asleep right now, I ate way too much Chipotle."

"We can nap if you want," he says and kisses my forehead.

"Yeah, maybe for a bit," I mumble as I rest my head on his chest and close my eyes.

"Sweet dreams, love."

"Night, night!"

When I wake it's dark outside, and Trent is still asleep. I prop myself up on my elbow and just watch him, he looks so innocent when he sleeps, so at peace. He's a completely different Trent, I want him to be this person forever. I catch glimpses of him every once in a while, but he never stays for long. I wish he knew it was safe to be that person all the time, the person who doesn't constantly worry, the person who isn't afraid of their father, the person who isn't afraid to be himself all the time. Trent has helped me see that for myself, I can only hope that I can do that for him.

I carefully outstretch my hand, running my fingers through his hair while he sleeps. A small smile creeps up on his face, and I'm afraid I've woken him for a moment, but he doesn't open his eyes or make any move. So, I lay there running my fingers through his hair, admiring my beautiful boyfriend.

"Good morning," Trent mumbles as he snuggles close to me.

"It's eight o'clock at night babe," I giggle.

"Is it really?"

"Yeah."

"Shit, how long have you been up?"

"Maybe ten minutes or so, why?" I asked as I continued to run my fingers through his dark hair.

"What were you doing all that time?"

"Honestly? Just watching you sleep," I blushed.

"That sounds so boring," he laughed as he cuddled up into me. I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him close. This was new, me holding Trent while we cuddled. I liked it, I liked the feeling of him in my arms, clinging to me for safety.

"It's really not, though. You look so peaceful when you sleep, it's really beautiful."

"I'm sure it's only because I was sleeping next to you. I don't remember the last time I slept that good."

"Well, I'm happy to help."

"So, what do you want to do now that we slept half the night away?"

"Sleep more?" I laughed.

"Seriously though, do you want to put on a movie, or we could go get some dinner or snacks, or-"

"Or I could have you for a snack," I blurted, interrupting Trent before I could stop myself. His jaw dropped as my cheeks went through every shade of red in the book.

"I mean, I wouldn't say no." I smirked and swung my leg over him so I was straddling his waist. I leaned down and gently kissed his lips, biting his bottom lip as I pulled away. "Whoa, babe are you sure? I was really just kidding; you know I don't expect anything?" He asked, concern in his emerald eyes.

"Sh, I want to, I want you, so bad," I whispered in his ear, nibbling on it before trailing kisses down his neck. Trent let out a quiet moan as I reached his collar bone. I reached for the hem of his shirt and Trent sat up so I could pull the shirt over his head. I connected our lips as I threw the shirt on the floor and ran my hands down his torso. Trent tugged at the hem of my shirt and I broke our kiss to take it off, tossing it in a pile with Trent's. He placed his hands on my hips, gently running his thumbs along the waistline of my jeans, sending shivers up my spine.

"You like that huh?" Trent teased, seeing my reaction. I just nodded in response, biting my lip to suppress a moan.

I took complete control after that. I kissed Trent forcefully before leaving a trail of kisses all down his neck, chest and stomach. Each time he let out a gasp or a moan my smirk grew, and my confidence increased. Soon I was unbuttoning his pants, slowly dragging them down to his ankles with his briefs. At that point he was practically begging for me to stop teasing him, and I was happy to oblige.

I felt a confidence that I had never known before when Trent and I were intimate. Sex was always something done to me. It was never something I controlled, or I could take pleasure from. With Trent, he let me take the lead, what we did only went as far as I was comfortable. He never made me feel like I owed him sexual favors, and consent was always necessary before he even let me touch him. The respect was such a change from what I had always known, and that made me want Trent even more. I loved these moments we got to share, I loved making Trent feel pleasure, I loved the pleasure he gave me. It was special, the connection I felt to him in those moments was one I didn't think could ever really exist between me and another person.

"I love you," I whispered as we were cuddling. I leaned up and kissed him, still tasting myself on his lips. I kissed his cheek before laying my head back on his chest.

"I love you too, Grayson," he replied.

"Damn, I was that good?" I laughed, but really, I was choking back tears.

"I'm serious, it has nothing to do with the blowjob, I love you, Grayson Daniels. I'm sorry I couldn't say it out loud until now. I was stupid to think I couldn't let myself say those words to you. Every moment since I've met you has been the best of my life. I never saw myself being with a man, but now I couldn't imagine being without you. I love how much you make me laugh, I love how safe you make me feel, I love how much you trust me. I love you, so much."

"You are the best thing to ever happen to me. And I'm so glad I ignored that voice in my head telling me to run, and then the voices of my parents telling me to run, and then literally everyone else telling me to run," I laughed through my tears. "I'm glad I didn't listen to them, and I'm so glad you proved everyone wrong."

"I'm glad I did too," he sighed as he kissed my forehead. I looked at my phone and it was after eleven. I sighed and got up and got my boxers, tossing Trent his and then heading to my duffel bag to get some pajamas. Trent threw on a pair of sweats and climbed back into bed. I did the same, snuggling up to him and laying my head on his still bare chest. Trent put on the Chris Pine Star Trek movie, and I smiled to myself at how much my nerdiness had rubbed off on him. "God, how is Zachary Quinto hot even as a Vulcan?" Trent asked about halfway through the movie.

"Too bad he's a horrible person," I sighed.

"Wait what did he do?"

"He made some really shitty comments about AIDS a few years back, there's been some other things but that's the one that really sticks with me."

"Fuck, well did Chris Pine do anything?"

"Nah, he's just very unfortunately straight," I laughed.

"Damn." I nodded in agreement. "Shit, I'm sorry that didn't make you uncomfortable, did it? You know I'd never choose Chris Pine over you, right?" I was laughing hysterically at this point.

"It's okay Trent, I'm glad you're cool with celebrity crushes, I kind of have a laundry list of them?" I said sheepishly.

"Oh really? And who might be on this laundry list?" Trent asked, an eyebrow raised at me.

"Brendon Urie, Pete Wentz, Adam Lambert, Troy Sivan, Ryan Reynolds, Chris Evans, Christ Hemsworth, basically all the Chris' except Pratt. Michael B. Jordan, Idris Elba, Hayley Williams because I feel like everyone has to be a little bit in love with her regardless of sexuality, and you're judging the shit out of me so I'm going to stop talking." Trent was laughing hysterically at this point, and my face was redder than a tomato.

"No, I'm not judging you, I just never expected you to have to so many celebrity crushes, or for one to be female."

"Well, for a while celebrities were the only people I felt okay having crushes on. They were at a distance and could never hurt me like A-Adam had." I explained, stuttering over Adam's name. It was still hard to say it, I think it always will be.

"That makes a lot of sense actually."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I mean, with what that fucker did to you? I'd be afraid of a real relationship too. I mean I guess I kind of was before you, but for different reasons. But it makes sense that you can still feel an attraction to someone but with none of the associated risks of actually being with that person."

"I always felt kind of crazy whenever I thought about it, I thought it was just a sign of how fucked up I am."

"Well, I'm not going to lie it's probably not healthy, I'm sure Dr. Meyer would have a field day dissecting it. But it makes sense, I understand why you thought that way."

"Thanks for never making me feel crazy," I said, kissing Trent on the cheek.

"You're just as sane as I am, love," he laughed. We fell quiet after that, enjoying the rest of the movie in a comfortable silence. We both fell asleep before the end of the movie, peacefully dreaming while cuddled in each other's arms.

A loud bang interrupted my dreams, followed by a deep, husky voice shouting "what the fuck is going on in here?" My eyes shot open and I saw Trent's dad, quickly making his way toward the bed. I cowered against Trent, who had jumped up and was putting himself in between me and his dad. I was absolutely petrified, frozen in place behind Trent while I waited for whatever his father was going to do.

😂