There was a nervous flutter in my stomach unlike anything I've ever felt. Even the fearful thrill of months, years ago, sneaking onto pack territory as a nomadic rogue, was nothing compared to this sudden agitation.

Still seated where Elliot left us, suddenly I had a hard time looking in Drake's general direction. Even he seemed to look everywhere but me, seemingly trying to find whatever he needed to say.

I nearly groaned when I felt my cheeks heat up in a surprising blush, making me feel all kinds of awkward. It was almost as if we were a pair of teens that just discovered their feelings for one another.

Though it was amusing to peek a glance at Drake and observe the powerful Alpha, whom had just effortlessly plowed through one of the hardest conversations one could have.

Talking to the mate that rejected you in the face and offering them a place to stay so they could heal.

Yet now I was watching Drake, a selfless and powerful Alpha, who had been nothing but confident in his actions, stumble over his own tongue.

As if he was dreading that one wrongly worded sentence, one bad impression, could ruin whatever this was. Acting like a prepubescent teen, attempting to confess to their very fist crush.

And yet through all his nervousness, through my own awkwardness and the hissed warnings of my bruised heart... I was more than aware of Drake's thumb, still gently caressing the back of my hand.

Even subconsciously, he was aware and careful of my scars, using less pressure, less force whenever his thumb approached a scar. Barely tickling over the raised and sensitive surface, only for his touch to firm over unmarred skin.

The touch was thoughtful, calm and soothing any nerves that reared their ugly heads. Such a simple thing to do, a stupid gesture that displayed so many intentions within it.

It made me blink rapidly, choking up on a sudden onslaught of emotions. There was a sudden thought that, even though my wolf agreed with, made guilt instantly stab me in the gut.

Why weren't we destined to mate? Why did we both have to suffer, if we were going to end up as Choice mates to begin with?

Sadness flushed through my system like an icy, painful and irrepressible wave that threatened to flood me. So much pain and suffering could've been prevented if we had been paired from the start.

It also made me realize how much I still suffered, how much both my wolf and I ached because of Max's actions.

Because I had grown up in the nomadic lifestyle, had always admired packs from afar. But could never join them, until I had met my mate.

Everything I had wanted in life, had dreamed about for years. To be accepted by a pack, to have a large, loving family surrounding you at every time of the day.

People you could rely on. Could build a future on. All that I had wanted, and it had been served to me on a silver platter. Hell, I had even started thinking of parenthood, of adopting pups.

Only for all of that to be taken away from me, brutally, by none other than my mate.

It wasn't until I felt soft fingers against my cheek that I realized I was whispering this against Drake's chest. That he had noticed I was having a breakdown of my own, was encouraging me to let it all out, to process the hurt.

Within the warmth of his embrace, I didn't feel weak. I didn't feel like a trembling mess that had to snarl at the world to keep everyone at a safe distance, to keep myself safe and unhurt.

I also knew that Drake wouldn't use this moment of vulnerability against me. Showing any emotion around him didn't make me weak in his eyes, made me realize that Drake saw it as strength whenever I did.

Because it also showed him that I was comfortable enough around Drake to do so. That I inexplicably trusted this powerful Alpha to pick me up when I was letting the walls around me collapse.

Rejections would always be messy, I knew that much. You couldn't just carve out the bond that was meant to be, without causing serious damage.

But I also realized that in some cases like my own, the rejection was so brutal that it caused life-long trauma. I was forever scarred by my ex-mate's actions.

Physically and emotionally.

Drake hummed his agreement, slowly wrapping his arms around me, waiting patiently for me to announce any protest before he guided me fully against his chest.

The powerful, steady thumps of his heart thrumming against my ear was soothing. A common tactic in packs, as nursing pups remained so close to their mother, that they were surrounded by the warmth and heartbeats of both mother and siblings.

Even now as an adult, there wasn't a hint of fear when Drake leaned back against the couch, allowing me to partially lay on his chest. Fingers brushing gently through my hair, grooming me in his human form.

"They sure made a mess of things, didn't they?" Drake murmured, making me chuckle and sniff pathetically, squeezing my eyes shut to prevent the tears from spilling over.

"Yeah. They really did." I sighed, leaning against Drake as my breathing slowed, swallowing the overwhelming sensations down.

He shuffled slightly underneath me, smiling down when I tilted my head to look at him. "But, surely there are good memories too."

This time, a soft, wistful sigh left me, a smile curling on my lips. "I was the pack's go to sitter. For whatever reason, the pups gravitated towards me, either to play or to learn more of life outside pack territory."

I grinned, chuckling at the memory of the pups chasing me around, attempting to hunt me down in their newly transformed selves. And I let them think they managed to have capture me, that I actually tripped and let them be victorious.

The pups had loved me, hadn't cared about my former past except for the stories I could tell them. Stories of a world beyond the safety of the pack, beyond what they had seen and learned.

"I think..." I started hesitantly after a long, calming quiet between us. "I think that perhaps, Gavin had been right to be hesitant."

"Max's brother? How so?" Drake questioned, fingers scratching through my hair until I sighed and arched into the touch.

The mere mention of my ex mate had my wolf snarling, which I quickly soothed before explaining. "Well, he was the only one who thought things moved too quick. That the pack was foolish for instantly trusting a stranger in their midst"

Drake hummed thoughtfully, releasing his hold over me as I slowly pushed myself back up. "Everyone accepted me because Max and I were fated. Nobody questioned my intentions; the bond was there and that was enough..."

"But is it?" I asked out loud, looking at Drake. "They only knew me as Max's mate. There was no lasting bond formed with any of them, I was shown in, accepted my place and that's that."

Pressed shoulder against shoulder, he gave me comfort, allowing me to gather my thoughts and speak my mind without any prying or pressuring for more.

"Everything seemed to be perfect. I had been accepted as one of them, or so I thought. All it took was one rogue attack..." I didn't need to continue. Drake sighed heavily, rubbing a hand over his face.

"It always comes down to how people are raised." He said with a shake of his head. "I'm suspecting that Max's pack had dealings with rogues before?"

My lips pressed together as I nodded. Many of the pack had lost loved ones due to rogues in the past. Had been too late to save their families, had seen their children get dragged off with their own eyes, too late to stop the rogues...

And as I conveyed this to Drake, his own lips pressed together. "I... took the liberty to look up that pack. Especially after the current Alpha's rash actions." He growled lowly before huffing.

"The Alpha of your pack had a nasty past with rogues himself." Drake tapped his thigh in thought as he continued, "He originally came from a smaller pack further down south, that had been harried by rogues, forcing families to split up and find a better territory."

I blinked, remembering that the Alpha, while polite, had always been standoffish and cold. In fact, the Luna had been the one to interact with me the most.

And as I thought about it, I slowly realized that almost the entire pack had reacted the same way. Polite, but keeping me at an arm's distance.

Waiting for the moment I'd lash out.

"From what I could find, he became Alpha simply because his mate was born and groomed to be Luna. Though, the last of the reports speak of the pack disintegrating, members joining with surrounding packs."

At my stunned look, Drake smiled softly. "Packs that don't respect their leadership, or leadership that act harshly are bound to dissipate. The lost trust between them could never be regained."

Sighing, I rested my face in my hands, shaking my head slightly. Nobody could've foreseen the rippling effects caused by Max's rejection. A rejection that had caused suffering to more than just myself.

"It does make me wonder what would've happened if we hadn't rushed head first into the bond." I murmured tiredly, smiling at Drake when he huffed.

"Most likely the same. From what you've told me, the pack was chomping at the bit, waiting for you to make a mistake. They were looking for a reason, any reason, to release their frustrations upon you."

I flopped back against the couch, feeling muscles relax as the realization was kind of a relief. "It wasn't my fault."

"It never was. Nothing about your rejection has been your fault. But it still hurts." Drake's fingers squeezed around mine, making me look up and realize he was looking down at me.

"Which is why... I wanted to, uhm, take things slow." Drake's bashfulness came forth in a wide grin as he released my hand to scratch at his nose. "I want to give you, to give us, some time. To let our wolves connect and bond before we go any further."

Licking my lips nervously, I slowly pushed back up and turned to face Drake. "So... like dating?" I inquired, feeling a little shiver dart down my spine.

Dating... that sounds nice.

I watched as his dark hair spilled over his shoulder, eyes sparking with his wolf's presence. "In a way, yes. Though I'd see it more as courtship than dating."

A small frown creased my brow at that, pondering out loud "What's the difference? Aren't they both one and the same?"

Drake chuckled at that, giving his head a little shake as he crossed his legs, stretching out on the couch while giving me his full attention.

"Dating would imply that both of us have a... selection pool that we're doubting about. Basically jumping from one person to another until we'd find someone to our tastes or, if they aren't to our satisfaction, move onto the next group."

A sour taste spread in my mouth, fingers curling at the mere thought. While I did like the idea of being offered time, I didn't want to have to wait at the sidelines and being treated as if I needed a certain value before I was worth someone's time.

"However, " Drake's eyes sparked with his wolf, the smile on his face soothing yet with a hint of something else. "Courting would mean that we'd only see one another. While it might be an old-fashioned term, courting wasn't thrown around effortlessly."

My mouth dried as I realized what he meant, realized the emotion that glowed from Drake's eyes. From his wolf's eyes.

Possessiveness.

"Courting was done to show interest from one party to another... with the hopes of finalizing the courting into marriage, or in our case, mating." Drake grinned cheekily, sending me a wink.

"I have every intention, with your consent of course, to make you mine."

The shiver from before was nothing compared to the physical jolt that zipped through my body, leaving goosebumps in its wake.

And of course, the emotions that flared to life instantly rushed to my throat, choking me up in the process.

I knew it would take a lot of time before I could truly relax, truly trust into a partner. The relief that filled my body, realizing that someone, no, not just someone, Drake, the man that had shown me that not all packs were bad, not all Alphas were egotistical pricks-

The wolf that had been rejected by his own mate, had undoubtedly realized his interest long before I did.... And yet, he was willing to wait. To give me more time. To truly put effort into the thought of

I didn't know when I started crying, only sensing Drake's hold that instantly secured me into warmth and reassurance. The unspoken promise in his touch, the unconditional comfort that he offered, never with the intent to ask anything in return.

Both of us wanted something so simple yet something that had been torn away from us without thought.

A chance. A chance to prove ourselves, to show that we worth the time and effort of a relationship. That we are worth more than just a bond.

A chance at having a mate.

I shivered and buried my face in his throat, nuzzling the skin where one would mark their mates.

Courtship.... Sounds amazing.