"What do you want to do, in the future?"

I glanced to the side, smiling softly and snuggled closer to Max, sighing contently. His heart was still racing underneath my ear, our skins damp after our last loving as we laid in a tangled heap.

His fingers danced over my back in a soft, gentle caress, a smile on his lips as he looked down at me.

My shoulder dipped lazily as I let my fingers travel over his skin. "I don't know, not really. As a nomadic wolf, I've never put any real thought to it. Nomadic life isn't a life for small and vulnerable pups."

Max grinned, eyes flashing with his wolf as I could tell his shift was all too eager at the thought of pups. "You seemed to have come out just right though, love."

A smirk slipped on my lips as I chuckled, "Yeah, with a lot of early gray hairs in the fur of my parents coats, undoubtedly." Sighing, I softly, almost hesitantly, voiced my thoughts.

"As a little pup, I've always dreamed of pack life. Whatever happened to my parents had tainted their view of packs, but they had spoken in earnest about the good times they had as well." I shook my head against Max's chest, sighing as his hold tightened.

"For as long as I can remember, I wanted to be wanted. To feel loved by my mate and pack, to have a job that involves taking care of the pack's pups..." A sigh escaped my lips before I pushed through.

"I don't want anything because I already have more than I wanted ; an amazing mate that loves me, and a pack that for the first time since I've matured, accepted me amongst them, as one of their own."

I grinned and looked up, expecting to see Max smiling down at me. Instead suddenly we were back in the forest, his teeth bared and fur bristled before he turned his back on me.

Panic and shock combined with pain as I attempted to step forwards, nearly collapsing through my paw. The paw he bit, the bones he broke.

Then it was all a blur of instinct taking over, heavy thudding of paws and the air filling with venomous snarls and barks. Teeth digging in my throat and shaking, flinging me through the air and releasing, only to grab me again and again and-

I lurched forwards in the bed, gasping for air with my hands on my throat. That awful moment before I woke up was filled with the horrendous feeling of feeling the skin of my throat give way, to slowly tear as the pack's Enforcer had stepped on my chest to secure my head and pulled.

A small touch against my cheek made me jolt heavily in surprise. The little bundle of fur whined as Ellie tumbled on her back in submission, tail quivering between her hind legs before she hesitantly rightened herself.

Once again her muzzle pressed against the corner of my mouth, tongue lapping, tracing the salty lines left behind by my tears.

For a moment I couldn't react, muscles still quivering and body locked in the after effects of the nightmare.

The memory.

My fingers grabbed at a handful of my hair, yanking in frustration. How long would these memories torment me? How often would I have to wake up to memories of my mate, soured by the aftermath of my banishment?

Why was I the only one of us being punished by the Fates?

Little paws wobbled against my sternum before I chuckled weakly when Ellie lapped at my face. Cold sweat drenched my shirt as I slowly picked Ellie's little form up, making sure I didn't trip over my legs as I got out of the bed.

A quick turn of the tap made me sigh with gratitude as I heard the pipes tremble and gurgle before water started pouring out. I quickly freshened up while Ellie remained close, eyes unwavering from my form except when I went to get a change of clothes.

Each motion I made was accompanied with a flash of scars, permanent reminders that packs hated me. That such a powerful, breathtaking thing as love was cold, fragile thing, easy to be broken.

The little pup at my feet yawned languidly, shaking her little head as she blinked lazily. My eye glanced at the clock before I sighed. It was too early to wake up but there was no way in hell that I could fall back asleep after those nightmares.

Still, it would take several hours before stores would open and there was nothing I could do in the house to keep myself busy. I could patrol the area, but that would mean leaving Ellie on her own in the dark.

So reluctantly, I picked her up and went back to the bedroom, deciding to shift so I could at least use my senses to keep an ear out on our surroundings.

Ellie was out like a light, after she had snuggled in under my throat. A soft snort escaped me as I stretched out a bit, trying to keep my mind from circling back to bad memories.

Instead, I decided to focus on the future. Whilst the Alpha was busy filling the paperwork for Ellie's transfer, we needed to sit here and remain and even if those papers were done by tomorrow, it still was up to Ellie on when the move would take place.

There was nothing left for her here, except the bittersweet memories of her parents. But the actions of the pack had made her wary of others, much like I had grown cold and distant due to my own lessons.

Little paws twitched against my throat, soft whimpers muffled by sleep before Ellie sighed and calmed down when I gave her a gentle nudge with my muzzle.

The pup could easily make it. Yes, what she had experienced was harsh and cruel. She didn't deserve this treatment, no pup did, but what's done, is done.

She'd be able to get through this with minimal psychological scarring at the very best. Cause I had a sinking feeling that Ellie might develop some abandonment issues soon and that was something we needed to work on.

It reminded me so much of those dark months after my banishment. Long, grueling days where I had staggered on my paws, panting at the slightest move, not knowing where to go.

And each time I had come across evidence of pack activity, I had avoided that area like the plague. Pack's couldn't be trusted. They were cruel, conniving communities of wolves that only cared about themselves.

In a way... yes.

Drake's pack had offered me a flicker of hope. A telltale sign that not all packs were doomed. Most packs I had encountered were all too eager to bare their teeth at outsiders.

For them, it was a they versus us. Packs only thrived if they could trust one another, trust their Alpha to make the correct decisions in times of crisis.

The Alpha would lead, and the pack would follow. But some packs would follow their Alpha off the cliff without question, only to complain that they fell later on.

Drake's pack was new... refreshing in so many ways. They didn't enforce or even tolerate that us versus the world mentality. Rogue, pack, human, shifter... for them, those were just meaningless words.

I curled up around the little pup in my care, sighing as slowly the sun started to peek through the window and illuminating the world around us.

And despite myself, there was a slight fuzzy feeling in my chest as I entertained a possible future at Drake's pack. He had made it all too clear that I was more than welcome to stay.

Be it pack or nomadic.

He didn't care. As long as I was happy. Perhaps... Perhaps I could stay at his pack. What did I have to gain on going full nomadic once more?

It would only end up with me struggling to survive, especially during the harsh winter months. Time would work against me as well, as the hunts would become more and more tasking to perform.

Slowly I shifted, dressing myself and gently picking up Ellie's slumbering form to take her to the kitchen. A quick glance at the kitchen stove told me that electricity and gas still wasn't connected but that was okay.

The iron cast stove in the living room was good enough to cook on, at least for now. All I needed to do was quickly go outside to grab some wood for the fire. Whilst I was making breakfast, I couldn't help but look around the house with a hint of... longing.

Whilst this place was far too large for a single wolf, it was excellent for a family. I'd rather have something a bit smaller, cozier and easier to maintain.

A small two bedroom house perhaps, preferably with a fireplace to snooze besides with a good book.

Hell, when was the last time I actually fully relaxed and enjoyed myself?

I couldn't remember, as hard as I tried. Because the only memories that came up, were back at Max' pack before they turned their backs on me.

It only served as a well earned lesson for dropping my guard, only to end up getting punched in the face as soon as I did.

A smile slipped on my lips as the bacon started sizzling in the pan. The second the sound interrupted the silence, one brown ear perked up before, still half asleep, a small body was squirming and jumping around my feet, forcing herself to wake up.

"Good morning to you as well. Breakfast will be done in a few minutes, if you can shift back and find yourself some clothes, that would be great." I said, chuckling when I heard a confirming yip before tiny claws scrambled over the tiles in her hurry to get dressed.

By the time I turned around with two plates of steaming bacon and scrambled eggs sandwiches, Ellie was kneeling on her seat, golden eyes fixed on the promised meal.

Her wolf needed all the nutrients it could get to sustain both the human and pup's growth. And by the way she was digging into her food, barely taking the time to breath in between bites, she was surely needing every scrap of food she could get.

Ellie managed to polish of her plate as well as half of mine before she slouched in her seat, fully sated. A smirk sat on my lips as I shook my head and gathered the dishes.

Whilst we were waiting for the paperwork to be done, I had decided to look for a simple job on the pack's territory. Not only would it allow me to keep an ear out for any underlying issues in the pack, it would also give me something to do whilst Ellie was under the care of her aunt.

Speaking of, I should ask her for a favor as well. Seeing how Ellie was being shunned by the pack, that also meant the little girl had most likely been homeschooled up till now.

And I was in no position to help her education any further, as I wasn't fully aware of the latest news due to my many nomadic years.

During the time I worked, Ellie could learn more about the world under the protection of her aunt. The only member of the pack who'd disobey the Alpha's command if it had anything to do regarding her niece.

I flicked the last soap bubbles of my fingers and wiped my hands dry on the towel before sighing. Guess I needed to go out jobhunting and I certainly wasn't looking towards it.

Sure, I could use Drake's money that he'd send over, but I was willing to bet that the local Alpha was going to hinder any transfers as much as possible.

Plus, as stupid as it sounded... I didn't want to be any more indebted to Drake than I already was. His gentle care when I was injured, the surgeries I already had on my hands and leg...

Somehow, I was going to pay him back, even though I had nothing worth to give in return. Somehow, I would find a way to give him something of equal value.