"I miss everything about you. I can't believe that I still want you even after all the things we've been through." – Colbie Calliat

The piano music sang the truest feelings he had in his heart, his long fingers caressing the keys as he pressed notes after notes and his smile never faltering for a minute. He continued to perform the music piece as if it'll be the last time he'll get to do it for me and I guess it was.

But why?

Why would he do it? Why did he decide to perform the song he once promised to perform for me? He wasn't playing it to remind me of the pain of breaking it and of the happiness of the memories we both shared back when I was teaching him.

He wasn't playing it to remind me of the past and I was sure he wasn't playing it also to compensate for the broken promise.

So why?

Why are you smiling so merrily, Dante? I thought to myself while I studied his smile throughout the piano song I once held dear in my heart.

The grandness of their mansion's interior appearance disappeared from my senses as I tried to fathom the meaning behind his odd smile but I found none – the piano tunes chanted silent riddles of his emotions, emotions that I found hard to decipher – the song carried the same melody and the same descant so why? Why did it sound different to me?

Why did it feel foreign to me?

But then I found no answers to my own questions.

He smiled until the last tune faded into nothingness.

His fingers left the keyboard, "It'll probably take some time before I get comfortable using my hand." he said, mostly to himself, and I nodded as I stared at the man beside me here on the piano seat. He admitted to me earlier late morning that he had a little accident a month ago however he didn't go further into details about what happened before it.

Though, I didn't insist to know them either.

"I hope I still did better." he turned to me, anticipation in his eyes.

"True, you did better than the last time you played it." I complimented him and his smile grew wider. The two of us talked like how we used to talk in the past but somehow, I couldn't help but noticed the invisible distance between us.

Dante was distant to me.

The distance made it difficult for me to be at ease.

"How about you play it too? Please." he asked though it sounded more like a plea but I dismissed it with a small nod before sliding my palm over the smooth surface of the keyboard.

There was a trace of warmth left behind by his fingers and it was a soothing feeling. It caused my own fingers to be indulged on such sensation that I hadn't press a note for a long minute until the man next to me cleared his throat – I pulled myself back to reality and began to play the song I once serenaded and will serenade to him for the last time.

The soft tune erased the awkwardness that had been lingering from the moment he welcomed me inside their mansion.

I felt distant to him.

The melodies were in perfect harmony and the timing was faultless but still, why? It seemed so unfamiliar to me as if it wasn't the music I composed and it wasn't the music I once played to him.

It was the same but it was different too.

I pushed the discomfort deep inside me as I continued to perform the music since I knew well that this will be the last time he'll heard it from me and I wanted to make it pleasing for him to remember as his lasting memory of me.

The rhythm followed the cruise of my fingers and the tempo didn't miss a single heartbeat from me. The music was, indeed, gentle however it wasn't sincere.

It lost the meaning behind each tune – it lost the special feeling.

The special feeling I dedicated to him from the first tune up to the last one – it wasn't there.

I couldn't feel them anymore.

"Thank you for playing it to me, Julian." Dante expressed his gratitude and it was then I realized that I already finished performing the musical piece.

I just smiled, "It's nothing. It's been a while since I last played it too."

Sadness flashed across his orbs but he blinked them away before going in a silence which brought the awkwardness back in the small space between us. The silent moment itself sent a daunting feeling to me because I also knew that the us wasn't used to be like this.

I wasn't like this before and he wasn't like this before too.

And I understood why.

I was and still pushing him away from me. It was exactly what I desired and it happened. He was letting me go so I couldn't trust him again and so I could move on easier then.

It was what I wanted but then why again?

Why was it bothering me?

Dante stood up from his seat, "Come, it's time for dinner." he ushered me to go with him in which I did soon after.

I first closed the piano fallboard after cleaning the keys and eventually headed to the direction of the door in front of the dining hall – I glanced at the grand piano one last time, picturing it deep into my memory for me to remember as the last time I played the piano with him.

―

The dining hall was huge as the ballroom on the other side of the mansion although as much as I had the urge to look at the splendid surroundings around me, I aimed my eyes on the man sitting across me – I aimed my eyes on his tireless smile.

His smile held so many mysteries.

"I guess I should consider this as our first date." Dante beamed more.

Our last date too. I noted only to myself. Of course, I didn't fail to remember the second promise he broke and again, he wasn't doing it to remind me of the pain of waiting for him to come.

But then again, I can feel my heart asking him why.

I pulled my sight away from him and looked down at the silver ring enclosed around my finger. I shouldn't bother on the things from the past considering that I was getting married soon, I was one step away from being together with my lover for a lifetime – one step away from bidding goodbye to the man I once loved with all of my heart.

I forced the thoughts away as I peered to the door leading to the kitchen.

"I'm happy for you, Julian." I heard him said to me, "I'm happy to know that there is someone who will never hurt you and someone who will never leave you." I turned to him to see the same smile in his face but his eyes told me something else.

"I'm happy that you found someone who deserved you." he added.

"I'm delighted to hear that from you, Dante." I replied.

The rectangular table that stretched from the other end appeared the longest from the corner of my eye. The ceiling on top of us seemed so broader than how it normally looked.

The distance between me and him was growing too.

"For what reason?" I decided to ask him, "The piano song and this dinner, these are the things you promised me and the same things you failed to do. Tell me, all of these, for what reason?"

He settled down the glass of wine I didn't notice he was holding, "No reason."

"No reason?" I repeated.

"No reason really, I suppose I just don't want to be in regret again in the end. I thought that it's better to make things right for once by picking up our pieces than leaving them the way they are because by doing so then we can move on without something holding us back." he reasoned to me but in truth, it was more like he was reasoning to himself.

"True, I don't want to be in regret too." still I agreed to him.

Dante glanced up to me before smiling again however his smile looked like it was screaming silent anguish to me.

He was pulling himself farther and farther away from me.

He was so distant and I couldn't reach to him.

The sound of metals turning intruded the peace, and then I turned to see his maid pushing a tray cart made of glass closer to our table. Delicious scent of food filled my nose and somehow, I found the smell quite familiar.

Upon reaching us, I immediately recognized that it was the same dish – the same dish I ordered on the dinner I had just before he asked me to be his affair.

Ravioli alla Marinara

"I don't know what your favorite food is so I figured something else." he explained.

But I stared at it in pure doubt. He remembers it. I found myself speaking those words inside my head and I couldn't believe that he still remembered the little things I did before – he acted like it was just pure coincidence but I knew well – he still remembered all of the memories he shared with me and that I found earnest of him.

Dante was letting me go but not the memories of me.

Emily placed the dishes on top of the table and soon excused herself before leaving us alone.

"To not be in regret." he raised his glass of wine for a cheer and so did I.

"To not be in regret." the glasses met in one clinking sound.

I drank the wine the same time he did and then I proceeded to dig on my meal later on. The both of us ate in one contenting silence but still and all, a part of me didn't feel right. It didn't feel right to know that I'll soon end this day with him no longer in my life.

―

"There is something I want to show you, Julian."

His blue orbs lit up as he looked at me past his shoulder just before he climbed up the staircase and I trailed behind him without a protest. I didn't take off my eyes from his back or should I say I couldn't – after all, this was the first time he turned his back to me.

And of course, it didn't feel right to me more.

He walked a couple of steps ahead of me and for some reason, I couldn't get an inch near him. Why are you different to me? I pondered on the thoughts that maybe because I was engaged.

Dante must be distant because I was getting married soon.

I tried to tell it to myself but it didn't make any sense, not at all.

I sighed inwardly, and then all of a sudden, I shifted my eyes from his back to one of his hand – it danced on his side as he continued to stride in front of me.

It felt surreal to just stare at his hand like this, not being able to feel them – not even a single handshake from him – it felt surreal to me that he was an arm reach apart from me but in spite of that, I couldn't touch him. It felt more surreal to me that I thought this day to be a blissful one to remember in the future.

I expected him to hail me with so much affection.

"Here we are." he called to me thus I retreated my eyes from his hand and peered through his shoulder to see the door to his art room already open and lights on.

It made my heart leaped.

The room itself brought so many memories of him painting me once, us fooling around and throwing oil paints at each other, and also us committing our first affair here. I took a step inside the room, anticipation and anxiousness mixing together in my inner self.

I glanced around and it was the same place like before, nothing changed, except it was us that changed.

"Is there a reason for me to be here?" I inquired him.

Dante pressed his lips in a smile, "There is and it's a surprise."

Now that surprised me because it was the first time he decided to surprise me. I stared at him in utter disbelief as he closed the door behind him before ambling towards the left side of the room where a plain curtain was hanging on the wall, and I did the same.

He stopped in front of it, his eyes full of fondness at the curtain.

"It was my greatest dream to paint the most beautiful thing in the world..." he imparted while not looking away from the curtain, "...and it came true."

"I painted the most beautiful thing in my world."

He ended his words with a smile and proceeded to unveil the curtains from the wall. I watched how the clean cloth slid off smoothly against the flat surface and slowly revealing what was behind it – the cloth fell near my feet and time ceased around me as I gaped at the beautiful sight in front of me.

It was a painting, a painting of me again.

But this huge one was different – it was breathtakingly different.

In the painting, I was playing the piano and the scene was what another would see in their place as they watched me. The overall image and the clothes I was wearing, it was the same one from that night.

That night was when he met me.

―

The art brought so many feelings to me, feelings I couldn't describe. It was just a simple memorable picture but it poured a thousand words and meanings to me. The dried colors held so much significance that I didn't know where to start looking.

It was really beautiful. It was the most beautiful painting I had ever seen.

"It took such a long time for me to see that the dream I had longed for was already right in front of me that night. I was a fool for not seeing it in the first place." he mumbled beside me.

I continued to gaze at the painting intently and little by little was I able to point out some few strange features in it; looking closely, the image of the piano was blurred. It seemed like it was fading from the picture itself and I can see my whole body in sitting position as if the piano was made see-through.

I can see the white rose in my chest.

It was hard to notice it because I was wearing white shirt in the picture and the outline of the flower was the faintest line I had ever known.

Dante laughed quietly to himself, "It wasn't the music you played that fascinated me... rather it was you, Julian. The piano was just an instrument pulling me towards you."

"Then why is there a rose in me?" I asked.

"Roses are like hearts, all of them bear hidden meaning behind different colors. I chose white since it reflects you, pure and fragile. I also chose white because it's the symbol of true love. You were my true love that night." he enlightened me though I didn't missed how he said the word were in emphasis.

Indeed, all of these were in the past now and that included our said bond.

I returned my attention back on the painting again, drawing all that I can see into my memory for me to remember.

The picture of me looked sublime, with innocence smearing my facial features against the spotlight on the side and with the blonde hair standing out most.

The depiction of me was really strong that no one would be able to discern the lingering shadow on the bottom of the painting. It was a shadow of a man, it was barely noticeable since it was only the half body that was painted and like the piano, it was diminishing from the picture itself too and blending along the rest of the dark oil paints.

I can't make out the face of the man seeing that his back was turned.

And then it dawned on me, it was the same back I had seen a moment ago.

The shadow man was Dante himself.

His body was disappearing in the picture but looking closely again, there was a rose inside his chest too. It was a red rose this time however instead of fading like him, it was painted in solid outline and the bright color of red emanated so powerful.

Though, the red color was dripping as if it was bleeding.

I can't understand what his picture meant in the painting. I muttered inside my head.

"Its meaning is simple, Julian." Dante hinted to me and after a difficult minute of interpreting was I able to understand the message behind it.

Through this picture, he was trying to tell me that even though everything was all in the past, and even though he was no longer in my life – he still and will love me no matter how much it hurts him in the end. Of course, it caused my heart to ache to know that he'll go that far for me.

―

Hours prolonged and I lost trace of time, still I stood in front of the painting.

I was waiting, waiting for him to tell me the words I wanted to hear. The words he used to tell me for countless of times but never speak of them since the moment I came here. I was waiting for him to close the immeasurable distance between us.

I was waiting for him to pull me into his arms.

"Can you stay beside me tonight?" Dante looked at me with his smile so genuine.

I nodded. He spun on his heels and walked ahead of me again just like how he did earlier, and likewise it bothered me to no end.

He led me into his familiar bedroom and to his familiar bed too. He only took his shoes off before resting on the side of the bed and so did I. I settled myself on the empty bedside next to him, my back against the soft mattress and my heart starting to beat into life – it was the other half of my heart.

"Tell me, Dante, why did you leave me that day?" I asked, my eyes dawdling on the ceiling.

There was a minute of silence but it soon died as he replied, "I slept with Amelia, although it was against my will, still it's not an excuse to hurt you again and I don't want to hurt you more that's why I buried it inside and let it hurt me."

I can feel a sharp thorn being pulled out of my heart as he said the reason I had been waiting to hear ever since the day he entered the flower shop – the day he came back for me.

I turned my head to smile at him, "Thank you for telling me."

He was also looking at the ceiling before he turned to meet my smile.

His blue orbs seared so much with passion as he reached his hand up to me, his finger brushing gently on my lips. I didn't know what happened but my chest suddenly roared so loud that I lost myself against his touch however he pulled it away much to my great dismay.

"I'm giving you my blessing, Julian." he murmured in a solemn tone.

"I'm also setting you free because it's enough holding you back all this time." Dante added, his smile hiding the sadness from concealing his facade.

"But I promise to be there for you in your wedding." he finished his words with a promise, his last promise for me and again, it didn't feel right to hear it.

I said nothing and simply stared at his eyes.

Tell me you love me, tell me you need me and tell me you won't let me go. I found myself hoping for him to tell me those but unfortunately, he didn't. He simply stared straight back at me and strangely, I could hear him hoping the same words for me to tell him but unfortunately again, I didn't.

The distance seemed to increase so much more it was starting to hurt me.

He then held my hand in his, still not closing the space between our bodies. He kissed each of my fingers so tenderly it tinged my skin with so much love.

I missed him. I heard my inner self speaking inside.

"Goodnight, Julian." Dante planted a kiss on my hand one last time and soon fell asleep afterwards. On the other hand, I was awake all night.

I couldn't sleep knowing that I'll be bidding farewell to the man I once loved.

I held a pen and a paper the following day to write him a goodbye however I couldn't. Hence I simply left that morning without leaving a letter to him.