“I won’t ever hurt you, even though you’re always hurting me.” – Anonymous

My heart was thrashing itself inside me as I waited eagerly for the arrival of my lover. I casted my sight on my cheap wristwatch and I found that I made it here an hour early than the appointed time but I gave no care about it.

This was our first date and I didn’t want to be late.

Through the glass window from my left side, I could see the blue shade of sky turning into Mahogany color. The people were still seen walking in the streets with countless outdoor post starting to come into light.

I must say, it was past late afternoon. I turned my head to my right side, and there I observed the place I chose.

It was not a first-class restaurant like the previous one where I had dinner with Dante and Amelia. Rather it was just a simple dining place but it had certain uniqueness in it. Instead of elegant chandeliers, antique sconces were on all walls and it was illuminating the Adam style interior of this place.

The decorations were that of nature paintings which gave off a tranquil feeling in the room. The cuisines were not expensive but they were as delectable as the high-class foods that nobles eat every day. Hence were the reasons why I chose this place instead of the popular ones.

“Can I take your order, Sir?” a waiter appeared beside me.

“Not for the meantime. I’m waiting for someone.” I replied and he nodded his head in understanding.

He left my table and I took the opportunity to check my appearance. Just the same vent suit I wore from the previous dinner but I tried my best to look different as to impress Dante. I added an ornament in my vent jacket and it was a bronze brooch in the shape of a hummingbird.

People believe that the charm of a hummingbird was a guide to happiness.

And I certainly believe it because I was happy. I was happy because this date made me feel that there was a chance for Dante to be in love with me and the mere thought of it made me overjoyed so much I could smile forever.

The sound of a door creaking open snapped me from my reverie but I retreated right away upon seeing that it was not the person I was waiting for. I looked again on my wristwatch and I perceived that it was almost close to the appointed time.

I squirmed nervously on my seat with my hands clutching together on top of the dinner table. Speaking of it, I was glad to say that I occupied the best table in this restaurant. There was an unlit candle light and a flower vase on top of the table, thus making it perfect and romantic.

The table was near the window much to my satisfaction and it doesn’t catch attention from the other customers.

It was a private spot for lovers.

I grabbed a table d’hote to distract my anxiety and I scanned over the menu of food being served today. Then it reminded me that I didn’t know what Dante’s favorite dish was. This will be a good opportunity for us to get to know each other. And I desire to know all about him.

What color does he likes? Do we have the same interest other than our opposite talent? I wonder if there was something he likes about me.

A giggle rang to me ears and I shifted my eyes to the table not too distant from me, there I saw a couple holding hands on top of the table. I wonder if I could get to hold his hand like that. Surely it would feel nice.

I smiled to myself.

It had been an hour and still no sign of him but then I kept waiting.

Sometimes I would jolt a little from my seat whenever the entrance door opened, and my feet would tap endlessly once in a while like it want me to leave and go home but I denied. He promised to meet me and I was holding onto his words.

He will meet me because I saw an assurance in his blue eyes that he will keep his words this time.

“Is there something you would like to order?” the male waiter came back.

I would be lying if I said I was not feeling anything. That was right, I was hungry and I was thirsty. I didn’t eat before I left my house in a hurry.

“A cup of tea will do.” I said and the waiter left. He came back again after a minute with the tea I asked for.

I brought the rim to my lips and proceeded to take a little sip of the warm tea. Somehow it calmed me more and gave me strength to continue waiting for the love of my life.

Another hour had passed and I can already see the bright moon in the middle of the dark sky. Not a single star was present as due to the large thick clouds floating across the heaven thus letting the moon all alone in there.

And strange enough, I could feel the loneliness in it.

People were starting to look at my direction since I’d been here by myself for more than two hours and some of them would look at me with pity.

They probably thought that my date will never come but unfortunately he will. Dante will come and I will wait for him no matter how many hours it will take. I will wait for him.

I ordered another cup of tea and it was already my fourth cup tonight. My stomach was beginning to grumble because of hunger but I paid no heed. I didn’t want to start my dinner without him because it will be rude. This date was for the two of us.

And it won’t start unless both of us were present.

I jolted for the hundredth time when the door opened but this time, instead of sitting back on my seat and resume on waiting for my lover, it surprised me to see the person who came. My legs stiffened upon recognizing the man, it was Lucas.

He surveyed the dining place in search for someone and he paused when he found me looking right back at him. He smiled although it didn’t help me wonder as to why he was here.

He paced towards me with the smile still in him but I merely stared at him confounded.

“It’s a pleasant to see you here, Julian.” he greeted me and I nodded in silent response. Before I could sit back again on my seat, I saw him offering his hand to me and it confused me.

“I’m here to take you home.” he added and it confused me even more.

―

“What are talking about, Lucas?” I asked him with a forlorn expression.

He withdrew his hand and I noticed his smile disappearing from his lips which only made me uneasy to no end. He inhaled a deep breath like he was unsure of what to say to me.

Or should I say, he knows what to say but he doesn’t know how to say it to me. Nonetheless he gave up trying when I heard him sighed.

“Dante wouldn’t come tonight. He... he is having a dinner with his fiancée.” he explained to me and I felt something crushed my heart painfully.

“You’re making fun of me right?” I chuckled at the absurdity of his statement though it proved me wrong when I saw the honesty deep in his eyes. I stopped chuckling.

Silence invaded the space between us and it only added more pain in me.

My legs trembled like its begging me to walk out of this restaurant and go home but I fought my urge and decided to stay here thus I sat back on my seat without saying a single word to the man in front of me.

“You’re going to stay and still wait for him?” he inquired and he hit right on the mark. I simply nodded in response.

He hesitated for a moment though he let me anyway be before taking the empty seat across me, the seat that was meant for Dante. The painful ache was still lingering inside my chest and it was tormenting me.

“Why keep waiting for him when you already know that he won’t come?” he continued and I bit my lower lip in endeavor to hold back myself from crying.

“Because he promised me, and I love him. That’s enough reason.” I replied as I called the waiter to order another cup of tea again. I wouldn’t mind waiting for an eternity because that was how much I love him truly.

Call me a fool but this was my true feelings. I was a fool in love with Dante.

The waiter motioned to my table again but this time he smiled seeing that there was another person sitting with me. He must have mistaken Lucas for the person I was waiting for since who knows how long. Indeed I lost track of time.

“Can I have another cup of tea please?” I asked again albeit before he could walk away, the man sitting across me called to his attention.

“Can I have an À la carte? Thank you.” he ordered and I looked at him in disbelief. After the waiter left our table, I decided to ask him the reason why he didn’t leave even after hearing my answer.

“What are you doing and why are you still here?” I stared at him in puzzlement but he simply smiled.

“I’m waiting for you to stop waiting for him.” he imparted in sincerity. I furrowed my eyebrows upon hearing his statement. He must be joking right?

“You know there’s no way I’ll stop waiting for him. You’re wasting your time.” I replied in a cold tone in attempt to make him leave but it deemed useless when I saw the determination in his eyes.

The determination to keep his words and it was something I haven’t seen once from Dante.

“Then I’ll just keep waiting until then.” Lucas claimed as he unfolded a table napkin cloth before placing it neat on his lap. I groaned in defeat.

The waiter came back with his dish and my fifth cup of tea. Both of us were silent during our meal and sometimes I could catch him glancing at me as he ate his steak.

But I would look away and stare at the scenery outside.

The same silence goes on after his meal and for another couple of hours until I sensed the last customer leaving the restaurant but I didn’t falter.

Even if I was the only one left, it won’t cease me from still waiting for him.

The staffs were done cleaning the place and I noticed an old man in suit pacing to our table. He must be the owner and I frowned knowing what he would say because it was pretty obvious that it was already closing time.

“We’re closed now, Sir.” the owner said however I didn’t respond or stand up from my seat. I can be quite stubborn from time to time.

Lucas pinched the bridge of his nose like he already knows what my choice would be but what he did later on didn’t fail to surprise me even more.

He pulled out his wallet before taking out his money, quite a sum if I might add.

“Here’s the money for the bill and here’s for the inconveniences. Could we stay here for a little longer. I’ll add more if it’s not sufficient.” he said as he handed the money to the old man.

The owner hesitated for a moment though he agreed in the end, “No this is enough.” he assured us before departing to the entrance door and leaving the two of us alone.

The dining place was now dark and not a single sconce was left open. The midnight cold breeze outside was causing fog on the surface of the window glass thus making it blurry or it might be because of the tears trying to escape from my eyes.

The gloomy silence in this restaurant was only torturing me further.

But that wasn’t the saddest part of all.

Rather the fact that deep inside I already know it was futile to wait for the man who promised to be here with me, the obvious fact that he broke his promise for the second time in which I can’t bring my heart to accept. And the fact that he hurt me again this time.

However despite all of it, I was still holding on.

I was still hopelessly holding on to this unrequited love that was slowly killing me inside.

Then suddenly a bright light appeared in front of me and there I realized the unlit candle earlier was now lit. Lucas put down a matchbox on the table and I immediately knew it was him who lit up the candle. However out of the blue, he held my hand in his much to my surprise.

“No one is here anymore but me. You can cry now, Julian.” he murmured and then I felt droplets of tears starting to escape my silver eyes.

All of a sudden I became vulnerable and fragile because of his words therefore without further ado; I broke down in front of this man who was able to see right through me. I held and gripped into his hand like it was my only lifeline.

And it eased me a little when I felt him gripped my hand in return.

I leaned down on top of the table with my forehead resting against my other arm in endeavor to calm my anguish self. The agony of my breaking heart was too unbearable for me since I didn’t know if Dante would break his other promise. Oh please don’t.

My heart will die if he left me.

Uncertainty was consuming me whole that I found myself becoming desperate and anxious. What if he really left me? What if he doesn’t come back? Please don’t let it happen. It will kill me to see him leave.

I remained crying helplessly for a long time that I didn’t notice it was almost sunrise. I’ve waited for him until morning but he didn’t come. Unfortunately my heart was still waiting for him.

Still waiting aimlessly for him to come and comfort me instead of someone else.

I lost the energy to cry anymore so I simply let out hiccups from then on until my eyelids became very heavy that I couldn’t refuse it. Soon I let my body surrender to its weakness and I quietly waited for myself to drift into sleep.

Nevertheless I was able to feel someone’s arms gently wrapping around me before carrying me bridal style. I was so tired and exhausted that I didn’t bother to deny this person’s kindness.

“If only I am the one you’re waiting for... then you wouldn’t be suffering this way.” were the words I heard last before the darkness devoured my mind.

―

The comfortable softness beneath me felt so tender against my tired body. Then the sound of children playing outside woke me from my dreamless slumber and a bright ray of sunlight from the window was what first greeted my still drowsy eyes.

I turned around in hope to avoid the blinding sunlight, but then unfamiliar furniture instantly registered in me. This was not neither my room nor any room from the orphanage. I thought to myself.

The sound of a wooden door creaking open snapped me from my trance and I turned around again only to see the same man I’ve been with last night.

“Oh, good afternoon. Are you hungry?” Lucas imparted as he paced towards me with a tray of food in his hold.

“Afternoon? And where am I?” I asked as I rubbed the corner of my eyes clean from pixie dust.

He chuckled. “It’s already past noon, Julian, and you’re in my room. You fell asleep earlier but then I didn’t know where you live so that left me no option except my house.” he explained.

I nodded in understanding as he placed the tray on top of my lap. He prepared a warm bowl of oat cereal, fresh baked bread and a hot cocoa. My stomach immediately grumbled at the sight of delicious meal in front of me and I hid a blush.

Lucas simply chuckled at the loud sound my tummy made.

Out of embarrassment, I didn’t think twice on starting my first meal for the day. It took me only a short five minutes in finishing my food and my famished stomach finally calmed down.

“Thank you. It’s a good meal.” I complimented him.

He removed the tray from my lap and I took the opportunity to get up from the bed, however he seemed to notice my action that he didn’t waste any second in stopping me.

“Where are you going? You still need to rest.” concern and sincerity was in his tone as he stared at me.

I shook my head in denial, “I need to see and talk to Dante.” I replied and I heard him groaned in return.

“You want to go to him after what he done to you? You’re going to forgive him again?” He claimed while gritting his teeth together in irritation. And it didn’t help when he saw me nodded.

“Are you stupid?” He retorted and it somewhat pissed me off.

“Yes I’m stupid! Too stupid for my own good but can you blame me? It shouldn’t matter to you what I do.” I retorted back but then instead of letting me leave again, he stopped me for the second time.

Lucas grabbed a hold of my hands before pushing me back on the bed again with him hovering on top of me and his hands restraining my wrists together above my head. I hissed in annoyance.

Although just before I could struggle from his hold, I didn’t notice his face getting closer and closer to mine and without knowing it – he pressed his lips on my own.

My hands and legs stiffened upon realizing what he did. I tried to move an inch but my whole body seemed to have paralyzed itself on its own and the shock of being kissed by another might have caused that.

Then it dawned in me that I was kissing another man.

In impulsiveness, I accidentally bit his lower lip harshly that it bled a little. I paid no attention to his wounded lip because I couldn’t bring myself to believe what he just did to me.

He kissed me.

He stole a kiss from me. Then I suddenly felt horrible and guilty for letting myself be kissed by someone else other than Dante.

“Forgive me for calling you stupid. It just infuriated me to know that you still love him and you will forgive him. You deserve so much better, Julian.” his sharp tone softened and he glanced down to me with compassionate ebony eyes.

“I love you.” he claimed and my eyes widened in surprise.

“It was a simple infatuation at first I admit. But then I started to fall in love with you and it always pained me every time I see the sadness in your beautiful eyes.” he murmured as he planted a kiss on both my eyelashes.

“I can care for you more than he does. I can cherish you more than he can. It doesn’t feel right to see you being taken for granted by someone who deserves nothing from you.” he continued as he kissed my forehead before tracing his lips to my nose.

Lucas looked at me deep in the eyes and I noticed him leaning down again with his lips an inch apart from mine thus making my heart ceased itself from beating.

But he didn’t continue much to my delight.

“I love you, Julian, and I can love you more than he could love you. I love you more than this.” he claimed as he let go of my hands. He stood up to his feet before picking up the tray and motioning towards the door.

I inhaled a deep breath while trying to process everything in my mind.

“I don’t love you.” I said to him and he stopped in his track. This must be done because it useless for him to love me when I was in love with someone.

He simply smiled at me affectionately.

“Then I’ll just have to make you fall in love with me,” he declared as he licked the blood from his lower lip before turning his back again to me.

With that he left the room.

I let out a deep sigh as I placed my hand on my chest and still trying to understand the situation I was in. Then it reminded me that I was still wearing all my clothes. It eased me to know that nothing happen during my sleep.

A solid object touched my fingers and I noticed the ornament charm was still pinned in my vent jacket, happiness huh? I wonder if the hummingbird was not meant for me.