"Don't make promises that you can't keep." – Elizabeth Hoyt

"Don't you want a lady with you, Mr. Hartwell?"

A beautiful Baroness solicited with interest as she and her friends waited for me to ask one of them to be my lady for the night. The ball hadn't even started and I was already being preyed upon by the female guests. However, unbeknown to them, I didn't find it a pleasure to be accompanied by a woman. After all, I always liked the presence of men since I first knew.

"I'm afraid to say that I prefer to be alone, for now," I replied with a smile, not crushing their hopes but not giving enough too.

"Please do excuse me," I freed myself from their lustful eyes and went to the east side of the room, passing by a gathering of nobles. The high sconce on the wall hailed me in and I graciously pressed my back against the concrete.

The grand ballroom of the Ashworth estate mansion immediately assaulted my sight. Inhaling a deep breath, the cool scent of the night invaded my body and spread chills inside. It must be dark now outside since the crystal chandeliers on the ceiling was appearing brighter than an hour ago.

The giggling noises of women gossiping and the sweet-nothing words from gentlemen filled the air around the ball, overwhelming the calming melody of the classical orchestra which was playing on the other end as the conductor continued to steer the music into his command whereas the attention of the people were directed elsewhere.

Colorful gowns wore by the women were creating many rainbow reflections on the marble floor, fashioning the already quaint atmosphere picturesque. I proceeded to cross my arms to my chest and merely allowed myself to be at ease with my mind drifting away from realism.

Today was Lady Amelia's birthday and I was obliged to attend as part of the Ashworth's household but instead of celebrating with delight, here I was spending my time alone, quite depressingly. It was all because of a fine reason that tonight she'll be in her ripe age to be married.

Indeed, she will finally be able to marry Dante, the man we both loved.

Pang of ache punched me square in the chest at the mere thought of it. However the saddest part was the fact that I can't help but have this little hope in me. This little hope that there might be a one in a million chance that he'll choose me over her even though I knew that it was simply close to impossible. I tried to persuade myself to stop hoping for it but my foolish heart just refused to listen. Such a silly tale, I swore.

"But it's not silly of me to hope for something right?" I questioned to no one as I bit my tongue in grief.

Besides, he himself said that he liked me so that was enough promise that there was a possibility in the future, a thin possibility, that he'll return this love I had for him. I could feel an ember of hope tethering in my heart tightly as a sad smile formed in my lips. I was about to dismiss myself when the hairs on my skin suddenly stood, sensing someone's eyes focusing on me.

I guided my eyes through the countless figures ahead, searching the other pair of eyes that was looking at me and there I saw a young man standing on the same posture as I on the opposite side of the ballroom.

The distance gave me difficulty from assessing his facial features other than his fairly curly hair in shade of ebony and his habiliment which was a black lounge suit similar to mine. But the only thing that enticed me of him was how handsome he was even from afar. I looked away, hoping to not be attracted to some stranger.

Was there a need to stare at me? I frowned, deciding not to ponder into it but to my own surprise, I found myself looking back again at the man. He caught me looking at him and he smiled. Before I could react, the loud applause rang into my ears and I was instantly drew to the source of excitement. Turning my head, there I saw the man I deeply loved dressed in a gray English suit and looking more charming than I remembered.

My heart raced a thousand miles when Dante turned to my direction as he walked through the entrance door. There was a blissful joy comprising me that I failed to notice the tight smile he had.

I was happy to see him until I saw the one walking beside him, marching like a princess. She was the luminary of this event and his fiancée, Amelia Ashworth. Her red gown whirling with gracefully into her desire.

They both made their way towards the orchestra and my heart promptly leaped in delight the moment he stepped closer to a grand piano among the other instruments. He was finally going to play the music I taught him and it almost made me dance in rejoice knowing that I was about to see his progresses in performing a piano.

It made me happy too because seeing him play a piano will bring me the memories of the time we spent together in those days, passionate days if I might add. I dropped both my arms on my side as I joined the smiling crowd. I wanted to see him closer.

Dante sat in a straight posture as he lifted up the fallboard, taking a deep nervous breath upon seeing the untouched keyboard. He seemed restless about something but I simply chuckled since it was kind of amusing to see a noble like him seeming uptight. I thought that he might not be used being the center of these many attentions.

Before he could start on his music piece, he turned his head to my direction and confusingly sent me an apologetic smile. What was he sorry for?

He retreated his smile and went to brush his fingers on the smooth piano keys before pressing on the first note. The small happiness I had faded from my lips, my heart losing its own beat the second I heard the rest of the music he had started playing.

It was Autumn Rose.

The same song I composed for him, the same song I serenaded for him and the very same song he promised to play only for me but now he was serenading it to his woman. The familiar melody didn't sound so sweet and beautiful like what I had made it to be rather it sounded so plain but bitter enough to cut painful slit on the walls of my heart.

The euphony was no longer producing a soothing feeling in me like before however instead, it brought this burning feeling in my heart and in my eyes. Tiny dew of tears escaped them and a silent cry was all that slipped past my parted lips.

He broke his promise. He broke my heart, yet again.

That understanding itself slapped me in the face and somehow I felt pathetic for holding onto his promise. I should have known that he'll never play that song to me just like how he'll never love me back. But despite that, it was my fault for believing, for wanting something that will never be granted to me.

I wanted to be angry at him but I couldn't bring myself to. I loved him so much to hate him. The music continued on like an endless record of painful sounds and it was killing me further deep inside.

I simply closed my eyes, surrendering myself to the denial that Dante wasn't the one playing the piano however the bitter tunes was proving me wrong, that until it disappeared from the air and something warm pressed on both sides of my head.

Huh?

I reached to feel the foreign sensation and upon my touch, it dawned in me that it was someone else's hands. A pair of gentle hands was covering my ears, stopping me from hearing the rest of the music piece. I didn't try to free myself from the hold because the lingering ache inside my heart made me vulnerable against the kindness of the hands.

Then I felt the hands pulled my body back and someone's beating chest pushed me from behind. Somehow, it seemed broad compare to my built. Broad? A woman surely doesn't possess such a broad chest so that meant it was a man whom I was hampered to. Whoever this man behind me was no doubt a kind gentleman, kind enough to save me from the pain.

I let myself succumb to this man's kindness and I remained in his hold to who knows how long but I didn't mind. I was in desperate need to feel comfort, even if feeling it from someone else.

***

After a long while, I noticed the people around me started clapping their hands and I looked up to see Dante withdrawing his hands from the piano keyboard.

The kind hands also withdrew my ears from its captive and I took the opportunity to turn around, coming to face a handsome man and he looked like the same man who was staring at me from earlier.

"Thank you," I said with a forced smile.

"And you have my utmost welcome," he responded with a candid smile as he reached to my chin so he could bring my face closer to his. I felt the embarrassment rising to my head since I let this man I hardly knew touch me so freely. He was such a charming man up close.

I composed my inner self and introduced myself out of courtesy, "My name is Julian Hartwell," before offering my hand for a simple handshake.

He smirked at me rather seductively as he took my hand in return. But just as I was about to give our hands a shake, he flipped mine on top and brought it to his lips for a kiss. I blushed rich scarlet.

"Julian, that's a beautiful name. My name is Lucas Radford, such a pleasure to meet you," he said while rolling his tongue on the word pleasure. I immediately pulled my hand away from his grasp, utterly embarrassed. No man should kiss another man like that!

"Why did you–? You're a strange man," I made it clear to him.

He raised an eyebrow at me with an amused smile, "Strange? Isn't that how we greet a damsel?" he replied and I blushed more red that my face was already burning.

"I'm not a damsel!" I snapped at him in a whisper. Now he was starting to piss me off.

"Of course you are, a damsel in distress," he teased me, leaning closer with our lips only an inch apart as he continued, "and I'm your knight in shining armor, how romantic."

Seriously? I'll take back my comment about him being a kind gentleman. He was starting to get on my bad side, I fumed. Although before I could say an insulting response to him, he ceased me by pressing a finger to my lips and said, "I'm glad, the light on your eyes has returned."

His jeering expression softened and he now looked at me with an honest smile from which I frowned in confusion. What did he mean by that? There was a silence between us that lasted for a moment until I realized the meaning behind them.

He was making me angry so I could be myself again? That was a strange way of comforting someone but then again he was already a strange man in the first place. I stared at him and I could feel something amity beginning to form in my heart. "Oh, uh thank you again, I suppose?" I said my gratitude as I looked down in defeat since I was feeling a little guilty for thinking bad of him when he was in fact just comforting me from the pain. I decided not to take back my positive comment about him anymore.

"And again, you have my utmost welcome," I heard him repeated.

"There you are, young man!" a familiar voice called to me and I spun on my heels to see Sir Marcus coming towards me, "come I'll introduce you to my acquaintances." He enlightened me as he grabbed a hold of my arm before tugging me along with him and leaving Lucas behind.

Nevertheless, looking back at him one last time, I saw him kissed his finger, the one he pressed on my lips.

***

"This is Viscount Arthur Scarfone and his wife Helena."

Sir Marcus informed me of their names and I smiled to them with respect. Insecurity sent tingles down my spine and it took a lot of confidence in me to not tremble in front of them. I finally got to meet the parents of my lover and I felt uptight since they look so well-endowed in appearance alone unlike me who simply wore a wristwatch he bought from a thrift shop which wasn't aught compare to their gold jewelries.

I shouldn't expect for them to think highly of me because it was not like they were even aware of me being their son's lover, or should I say illicit lover.

"So you're the famous Julian Hartwell, Marcus and my dear son speak favorably of you," Helena claimed after I greeted her hand with a soft kiss. Now that was unexpected, I didn't know that Dante had spoken about me. It brought me joy at the mere thought of him speaking my name to his parents.

"It's great to finally meet the mystery pianist. Be it what it would, thank you for teaching my son on the piano instrument, Mr. Hartwell. It was a remarkable performance." Arthur corresponded with a pleasant smile as I shook his hand.

"Yes, I am a pianist and the pleasure is mine," I answered, with a little uneasiness resonating in my tone.

"Oh, here they are!" his wife cheered and I raised an eyebrow in confusion.

"Good evening, Julian," it was such an enchanting sound, enough to captivate my soul in a heartbeat. I turned around so slow I hardly believed and came to meet the love of my life.

"Good evening too." I managed to reply despite my heart slamming itself inside my chest. I bit my lower lip in endeavor to stop myself from flushing scarlet in front of him and especially near his parents since it will give them a hint that we were acquainted to one another more than friends should.

"A pleasant evening to you, Mr. Hartwell. I am so grateful of you for teaching my fiancé. The music is so romantic and I think I'm falling in love with him all over again," Amelia was clinging to his side as she greeted me, her arm secured on his as if she refused to let him go.

The short moment of my happiness diminished from me and it was replaced by this heavy sensation, a heavy gravity that was pulling my body down and making it hard for me to remain standing still, I groaned inwardly at it. The memory of him serenading the music piece to her rushed back into my head and the heartache from earlier also came rushing back. I didn't want to feel this pain but I remained lenient so.

"Indeed, I'm grateful too that the song have pleased you, my Lady. I absolutely don't regret teaching your fiancé with it," I almost cringe at my own words but I held back and saw Dante making a frown at me.

To tell you the truth, I was gradually regretting teaching him that music. Even though, it was cruel of him to play it to his fiancée when he could play something else, somehow it was partially my mistake that I agreed to teach him and made him swear a promise he couldn't keep.

If I hadn't done all of that then I wouldn't be suffering right now. I loved him so much to blame him for my agony.

"Okay that's enough talk gentlemen. Amelia, dear, I believe I still haven't gave you my present right? Please come with me." Helena ushered the girl to come along before walking away from us with Sir Marcus and Sir Arthur following suit after them and leaving only me and Dante behind.

Dante cleared his throat in antsy and I respond to him in silence. "Forgive me. Please let me make it up to you," he was sorry, that I understood and I felt my broken heart swelling at his words. Just a single sincere word from him was all it took to take away the ache in my chest. He really do affects me more than anyone else could.

I shook my head in silent denial although he disagreed by pulling out a red rose from underneath his suit before tucking it in my chest pocket. Butterflies probed inside my stomach at his mere touch on my clothed chest and my body slowly burned in search for more of his touch. "No can do. I really do want to make it up to you." He persisted with a tight smile in him and I could see his guilt swimming inside his ocean blue eyes.

I only nodded in agreement, unable to bring myself to put a smile.

"I love you, Dante," I breathed with so much love and affection. I wanted to hug him, I wanted to kiss him and I want to be the one for him. I wanted to show my love for him and I also wanted to tell him how I fell in love with him even before we met personally. This love was deeply rooted in my heart that it was no longer possible to take it away.

"I like you, Julian," was all he claimed in return. I felt that same hope sparked inside me again, the hope that one day I'll be able to hear him say he loved me too. I refused to hold onto that hope because it was both foolish and empty but his words alone was driving my feelings to deny all reasons.

His words alone was giving me false hope so mercilessly. I never knew love can be cruel at times. The most difficult part was that I can't tell if he was telling the truth. He had such a disguised heart in him and that left me no choice but to blindly hope that maybe, just maybe, he was feeling the same thing for me.

***

Both Dante and I remained tongue-tied at each other for the longest time since I couldn't gather any words I could say to him and so was he. However, the uncomfortable air between us was soon interrupted by the call of my name and whose voice I least desired to hear again tonight.

"Julian, so you're acquainted with Sir Dante, I see," Lucas appeared in front of us, startling me a little bit. I hope he was not following me because that would make more strange than he already was.

"Lucas–" his name was all I could mutter as his dark brown eyes stared at me tenderly, though it narrowed when he turned them upon the red rose tucked inside my chest pocket.

"Red doesn't compliment you," he stated, glaring at the thing as if it did him wrong before disregarding them in the following minute. It shook me surprise to see him simply tossing the red flower to floor like it meant nothing. I stiffened from what he did and failed to stop him from tucking a white rose instead in my now empty chest pocket, "white does it best." he smiled.

I glanced to Dante from the corner of my eyes and it bothered me to see the immeasurable intensity of his glare. I shuddered, this was the first time I saw him mad. I wanted to reason something to him, something that won't make misunderstand as to what kind of companionship I had with Lucas. Speaking of Lucas, his unchanging haughtiness wasn't helping the situation either.

"And I see you're acquainted with Julian too, Lucas." Dante mouthed his name like it had a bitter taste in them. He knew Lucas?

Lucas made an innocent shrug, however his smirk was anything but innocent, and then he said, "We just met a while ago. Though I must confess, Julian is really a beautiful man in person." Wait. He knew Dante too? What did I miss?

Dante turned to me like he had heard my unspoken question before answering with a smiled, "How rude of me. Julian, I want you to meet Lucas, Sir James' footman." He introduced the man with so much politeness but his eyes said otherwise. If glares could kill then Lucas would already be dead.

"I am and I work as his trusted footman, until now," Lucas replied and Dante frowned at his words. He was about to ask something but the other man decided to beat him into it.

"Don't be so perturbed on my meeting with Julian, Dante. After all, you made no effort to point out that he's more than a simple acquaintance of yours, if I say so myself," he made it known to us and I quickly grew uneasy upon someone learning about us. Someone found out our secret affair and it was starting to scare me. What if he reveals it to anyone, to Dante's parents? If that happens, that would mean that our affair will come to an end and I didn't want it.

My heart was not prepared for it.