"Unrequited love is the infinite curse of a lonely heart." – Christina Westover

"Your fiancée's birthday should be on the next month right, my dear?" my darling mother, Helena, reminded me of that occasion as she picked up a tea cup before bringing the rim to her lips.

"Yes, dear mother," I replied with slight disinterest as I crossed my legs.

"So, what are you planning to give her as a gift?" she placed back the cup on a saucer while looking at me with high hopes.

Of course, she will be because it was her who chose Amelia to be my future wife since she always wanted to have a daughter like her. It was because of her fondness that she would always wanted me to give the girl the best among the rest. One day, I wouldn't be surprise if my mother presented her a chest full of gold and diamonds. If anything, that was how much she was fond of her future daughter-in-law.

"She wishes for me to play a piano on her birthday," I brought my own coffee mug and proceeded to take a sip of my espresso in attempt to entertain myself.

Today was Sunday and we were doing one of our family routines wherein we were to spend the entire morning in leisure or in tea time together. Hence, this was the only moment where I got to be with parents for a longer time, though it won't be as boring like now if my mother didn't brought up the topic about the upcoming occasion.

We were currently occupying our pergola which was built in the middle of our garden patio. Truthfully, this was one part of our mansion estate that I favored aside from my art room since this place was full of calmness too.

"And did you accept her request?" she asked me in a rather distant tone, her sitting posture becoming rigid.

As much as I desire to refuse Amelia, "I accepted but I don't know how to play a piano," I replied, trying not to look unpleased.

My mother was not heartless as she sounded, in fact she was a loving parent deep inside. It just that she was gradually misled by Amelia's sweet demeanor that she turned a blind eye on the girl's imperfections. In Helena's eyes, Amelia was a perfect and sweet lady.

"We can hire a musician to teach you on that instrument, son," my father, Arthur, joined the conversation with his eyes still glued on the morning newspaper. I looked away from both of them.

"Worry not, father. I already have someone to teach me on that," I said and he simply nodded in response. He was not a neglecting parent as he appears, he was actually a doting father if you may ask. The only problem was that he consistently and always let his lovely wife have her way on me.

"I hope it isn't a woman, my dear. I certainly wouldn't like it if you are seeing someone behind your fiancée's back. It is a disgrace for a man to cheat on his woman," my mother's eyebrows furrowed as she stared at me with her fingers interlacing together, uneasy.

Was this perhaps what they called a mother's intuition? It was quite a foreboding thing because their doubts were always never wrong.

"Trust me, mother, never in a lifetime would I think of having an affair with another woman." I chuckled inwardly after realizing that my mother was partially wrong on that one since it was, in fact, a man whom I was seeing behind my fiancée's back. Of course, she will undoubtedly go mad if she were to learn of my affair.

"You better be," she promised as she wiped her lips clean with a napkin cloth.

"By the way, mind if I know the name of this person who will teach you how to play the piano?" she questioned me as she flipped her curly hair off her shoulder.

"His name is Julian, I met him in my last gallery event. He's a good pianist if I say so myself and he's kind enough to tutor me for free," I explained and I found myself oddly delighted at the mere mention of his name.

He never failed to make me feel weird especially since there was still this strong pull his body had towards me, even when he was not here.

"He seems like a thoughtful gentleman and I'm glad you manage to be acquainted with him. It would be nice to meet him one of these days," Helena corresponded with her emerald eyes lighting in excitement. I simply nodded in silent, not noticing the candid smile I had in my lips.

***

Soon our family time ended a little prematurely because of the unforeseen arrival of my parents' close friend. His name was Sir James, he was an Earl and he was also our family health doctor, working as a talented Physician in a renowned hospital. We waited for him in the foyer as he climbed out of his horse carriage. The man took off his coat and handed it to our maid before we welcomed him with open arms.

"It's a pleasure to see you again, James. How are you?" my father greeted him with a handshake and so did I.

"I've been quite busy but I'm still doing great! It's a pleasure to see you all again and you're still as beautiful as ever, Mrs. Scarfone," he planted a kiss on my mother's hand before turning his attention on the young man behind him. How come I didn't notice he had someone with him?

"Oh, Dante, I would like you to meet my most trusted footman," he gestured the young man to introduce himself to me.

There, it made it known to me that he was the same height as I with both his hair and eyes in shade of brown. Most of all, he was quite good-looking but not as much as me. "This is Lucas Radford. He's also an artist like you."

The said man offered his hand to me and I took it politely. "Nice to meet you," he said.

"The pleasure is mine. I'm Dante," I introduced myself back and I noticed that he possessed such a defined hand. What kind of artist was he?

I was searching my imagination for an answer but I was snapped from my trance when I heard my mother speak to me, "Could you please kindly keep him company for a little while, my dear?" she smiled and I heeded to her wish without question asked, "Yes, mother."

The adults soon made their way on the direction to the living room, leaving me behind with the footman. Why should I entertain myself with a servant? I grunted to myself as I remained silent just like the man in front of me however I must keep him company like what I promised.

"Perchance, would you see my art room?" I asked as I settled both my hands inside my pockets. He only nodded in silence. Not a talkative type of person, I supposed? Well, it was not like it mattered to me anyway. I turned on my heels and climbed on the grand staircase before advancing towards my sanctuary. He silently followed me from behind and neither the both of us utter a single word to one another. Though I rather be it this way because after all I found it least of my interest to be friends with him.

No reason. I just did.

"Here we are," I welcomed him after opening an oak door. Both of us immediately went inside and he proceeded to study the room with wonder as I watched him.

"Do you want a drink?" I asked he sent a nod as he continued studying all the things that resided in here.

On the other hand, I walked to a nearby wine cabinet before serving two Champagne flutes with an apple-made red wine. I saw this burgundy color again but instead of frowning on its alluring shade, I smiled since I was now fond of it because it made me thought of Julian. That was right, I accepted the fact that I was so attracted to him but that was all there was to it, nothing more and nothing less. Besides I was already an engaged man so it will be impossible for me to feel something other than desire to another and let alone another man.

No way.

I brought the two Champagne glasses with me as I turned on my heels and walked towards Lucas. I saw him standing in the corner where my used canvases were paraded. However, as I motioned closer to him, I noticed his eyes were more centered on an specific canvas and I frowned knowing what painting he was looking at. Lucas remained focus on it as I came beside him.

"Here," I offered him the glass and he took it with his eyes never leaving the painting he found. There was no need to follow his stare because the painting he was looking at was the unfinished painting of Julian.

"Who is he?" he asked and I raised an eyebrow. He actually talks, but that wasn't what I was surprised about. Rather it was his question and his stare that was quite full of adoration towards it.

"No one," I replied as I drank my wine, feeling somewhat bitter.

Lucas looked at me dubiously but unfortunately I did not intend to tell him what he wanted to know, the bitterness in me was refusing to tell him anything about the gorgeous man on the painting. He stared back on my painting again but this time, his hand was reaching to it. He made a smooth trace on the surface of the image, admiring the man painted on the canvas and it made me grew more bitter as I watched his fingers touched the face especially on the way he do it, because it was like he was caressing a lover and I didn't like it.

In one fluid movement, I grabbed him by the arm and pulled his hand away from the painting of Julian.

"Is something wrong?" he asked, tauntingly, but I didn't let go of him. "Tell me, Dante, why do you dislike me touching it?" he questioned. I stared at him though I decided to let go of my grip since I didn't want to raise suspicions from him. It was better to be careful than not.

"None of your concern," I replied intimidatingly but even so he was rather unperturbed.

He narrowed eyes at me and I could feel a little tension building in the space between us. "How much is this?" he inquired me and I frowned again. I didn't know what he was thinking but one thing I was sure was that, the mere thought of him touching it again was something I would never allow.

"I'm not selling it to you," I replied while narrowing my eyes the same way he did.

"Such a shame, I see." he countered as he drank his wine empty and returned the glass back to me before turning on his heel and making his way towards the door. But just as Lucas was about to retire himself from the room, he turned to me one last time and said. "It would be a pleasure to meet the man on the painting. I would love to embrace him and keep him all to myself."

"It was nice spending time with you, Dante," and that was all he said as he left wallowing in my own bitterness.

***

The afternoon sunlight was glaring at me through the glass window of the Coach. I glared back at it as my thoughts dawdled on the man named Lucas, his words earlier made me furious. What did he mean by that? I knew I should bother myself by it since it was not like Julian and I were in loved with each other. In fact, if he were to meet and love someone else, I wouldn't stop him from doing so because still and after all, I was already and will still be committed to a woman.

But somehow, I couldn't get rid of the bitter feeling I had.

Anyway, I was now on my way to the place where I'll have my appointed piano lesson. I could feel the headache beginning to hurt on my temples upon remembering why I was doing this in the first place. I had the least of desire to learn any musical instruments and the piano was not an exemption. I really didn't possess a passion in music which made it a lot more difficult. Why can't my fiancée understand something as simple as that?

I dismissed the thought about her because just picturing her face inside my head was only increasing my headache further and making me furious more than seconds ago but on the other hand, a part of me was kind of grateful of her and her self-centered attitude.

It was because of her that I got to spend a lot of time alone with my secret lover and a rather long time at that, isn't it nice? I asked myself.

I felt my heart skipped a beat just imagining what else we might do aside from a simple piano lesson and I was already looking forward to it. Soon the horse carriage came to a stop and the horseman left his perch to open the door for me. From the moment I stepped out of the quarter, I was stunned upon seeing the place I just arrived at.

A children orphanage? I wondered if the address information was wrong.

However, it proved otherwise when a man appeared on the doorstep or should I say, a gorgeous man. He stood there in a blue dress shirt and black trousers. No matter what type of clothes he wore, he will always be stunning in my eyes. Maybe that was one of the reasons why I was so attracted to him, it was because of his handsomeness.

"It's good to see you again, Dante." Julian hailed me with a smile.

"Same to you too, Julian," I smiled the same and walked to him before pulling him in a deep kiss that made both of us worship each other. I always loved kissing him and it was something I still cannot comprehend why.

"Please do tell me, why are we in an orphanage?" I asked after I parted our lips.

He didn't answer me instead he simply welcomed me in. The orphanage seemed a little old, the living room was only consisted of five large couches and a single rectangular wooden table with children's toys scattered everywhere. It honestly looked like a child's playground instead of a living room.

"This is where I first lived when I was young," Julian said and I was surprise at it. It wasn't because he grew up in such a place like this but it was the fact that he was sharing it to me.

"Oh, and how is that related to our piano lesson?" I asked, ignorant of the mood.

Julian simply grinned before grabbing me by the arm and tugging me to go upstairs with him which I did so. Before long, we reached one of the doors upstairs and he opened it for me. Inside, I saw a single furniture in the middle of the room and it was an upright wooden piano.

Was this perhaps the orphanage's music room?

"This is the first piano I played. It's special to me because it holds memories of my childhood days and considering that this is special, I want to teach you with this," he said.

"Why?" I asked, still ignorant. He looked at me before taking my hand in his and intertwining our fingers together.

"I want to create memories with you so that whenever I play this piano, I will remember you, Dante." he told me his reason and I felt my heart skipped a beat again. How he still loved me unconditionally despite me not reciprocating his feelings was truly far beyond my understanding.

"I'm awed," were the words I only managed to speak. Honestly I didn't know what to say to him because talking about feelings of love was where I was completely insensible. Like what I said before, I had never been in love. He cocked his head to the side like he was trying to read my mind. Unfortunately he won't find a single thing inside it because I was good at hiding my thoughts and feelings away from someone's plain sight.

"There is something I want you to hear, Dante," his expression softened and his silver eyes glinted with sparks of affection in it, affection only for me.

He sat on the piano seat before gesturing me to take the side next to him and I did. He lifted the fallboard and I was surprised to see the piano keys still intact in spite of it being old. Julian must have been taking care of this musical instrument greatly because the insides still looked splendid like new.

"Is it the music piece you mentioned on the dinner, the one that you planned to play for someone special?" I asked, still and all, ignorant.

Though he merely smiled at me genuinely, "You'll see," he replied.

I was unsure of what to anticipate but nonetheless, I gave him a nod which he took as a cue to place his fingers keys before pressing his music note to life and I listened to it closely. This was the first time I get to see him playing up close because the last time he played, I was just one of his audiences and this was different since I was no longer a simple spectator rather I was now his lover.

The music piece started with soft tune and I silently watched his fingers dancing slowly but elegantly on the keys. The intro sounded in a little deep tunes and the thickness of it brought forth this heavy feeling in my chest thus making it beat quiet heavy than normal.

The music eventually turned romantic and the lovely melody gave me this gentle warmth throughout my body especially with its every high pitch sound that undoubtedly had me captivated. The things around me slowly disappeared and the gorgeous man's presence was the only thing that remained. It was like the world was only about the two of us.

Was this what he feels whenever he plays? I traced my eyes from his dancing fingers and landed them on his placid face. He looked like a peaceful angel from the heaven, his strands of blonde hair was swaying in his every move and I wanted nothing but to feel those soft strands brushing in my fingers.

He remained hushed as I continued to stare at him. He had his eyes closed but I knew he could see the keys in his mind and I saw a kind of smile that made my own lips numbed. His lips that I always find delicious and kissable were so otherworldly beautiful in front of me. The tunes was making it passionate for me to want to kiss him and just imagining my lips on his made my heart leaped in joy from its place.

His kisses always tasted erotic so maybe that explained why I loved kissing him.

Julian continued to play his music full of sincerity in it wherein the harmony was ringing endlessly in my head and also vibrating into my heart. The wonderful song was peculiar because it made me feel special like I was the only one in his life and such sensation was making me feel something that not even my fiancée could make me feel. This music was somehow dedicated to me.

Then it took me awhile to realize that I was in fact that special someone whom he was referring to and he was now serenading me with a music piece he made. I could my heart swelling upon the thought of it, to think that he actually wrote a beautiful song just to play it for me.

I was starting to feel guilty all of a sudden.

It was not because I was having an affair with him or because I was seeing someone behind my fiancée's back, rather I was guilty because I have nothing to give to him in return. I can't give him the love and passion he wanted from me and I was guilty of that. He always showed me the purity of his love and now he made me see it by serenading me.

Love was, indeed, a mysterious thing.

The song finally ended impressively but instead of congratulating or complimenting him, I stayed speechless where not a single word could elaborate the special feeling I had.

"So did you like it?" Julian asked, eager to hear my thoughts.

"Yes," it was all I can say but it was all needed to brighten his already bright expression, "What did you name for this music piece?" I inquired him.

"Autumn Rose," he replied.

"Autumn Rose? It's a beautiful name," I complimented as I slowly regained my inner composure. Then in a brief moment, he closed the distance between us and brought his lips into mine. However instead of a passionate kiss, it was the one that was full of wonder in it. And there was it again, the skipping beat of my heart, so painfully sweet that it held me imprisoned in a cage.

Julian withdrew his lips before locking eyes with me, "I'm not a noble man like you, Dante. I have nothing to offer to you but only my love," he said with his silver eyes appearing more deep and intense than before.